Hare Hare Hearts
(A Kingdom Hearts and Haruhi Suzumiya Crossover)
Disclaimer: I do not own any Kingdom Hearts or Haruhi characters…I just own the ideas here.
"No, no, no! You're doing it all wrong!" cried a girl with short brown hair and yellow ribbons. "Don't you even know how to swing your hips!?"
"W-Well I think I'll speak for all three of us, but…we're all guys!" explained a spiky brown-haired boy whose voice was just as loud as the girl's. "You seriously don't expect us three to go out on a stage and swing our hips like girls, right!?"
The girl smacked the boy with the rolled up newspaper she had in her hands. "Idiot!" she spat. "That's EXACTLY what you guys are going to do!"
The boy was still rubbing his head from the girl's powerful hit on his face. "Okay, okay, okay!" he grumbled between rubs. "Whatever you say, Haruhi…"
"That's Suzumiya-Sempai to you, Sora." She corrected with an all-knowing tone in her voice. "Don't think you can become so informal when I'm your boss."
"U-U-Uh, Haruhi," piped a girl with fairly long orange hair. "M-Maybe we should resume practicing?"
At this, the girl named Haruhi gave her friend a devious smile and glomped the poor orange-haired girl. "Of course, Mikuru-chan!"
"Wah! H-Haruhi-! P-Please let me go!" screamed the helpless Mikuru, who was struggling to get off of Haruhi's strong hold.
"Are we ever going to get this over with?" sighed a silver-haired boy, turning to look away from the horrible sight of a girl glomping another girl.
"It'll end soon, Riku…I think," mused a blond-haired boy with bright blue eyes. He seemed a bit too wistful about this dance lesson ending.
After all, Sora, Riku, and Roxas just so happened to be the three unluckiest boys that were selected to entertain the new foreign exchange students from Japan. However, it seemed that Haruhi and her crew was entertaining them instead. So here they were in the school's theater, up on stage and practicing what Haruhi called the "latest and coolest dance moves" that were supposed to be "hot n' fresh and direct from Japan." But for the three boys, these dance moves just seemed to be made up on the spot.
And the sad thing was, they'd have to be performing in front of the whole high school in a couple of hours.
'If it wasn't for Haruhi's big mouth,' claimed Sora while Haruhi had been out of earshot, 'We wouldn't have to have this kind of embarrassment coming up!' Yes, embarrassment indeed, whether they mastered the moves or not…
After Haruhi had had her fun with torturing poor Mikuru, she called the three boys over and formed them into a line by pushing them this way and that like tiny rag dolls. Haruhi was always in control. And if anybody was in her way, well…they were in for something treacherous.
"Okay, we'll be practicing the hip-swinging once more!" she said. She beckoned for Mikuru to stand next to her with a wave of her hand, and called over Yuki, who was another affiliate of Haruhi's, with a nod of her head.
"A one, a two…" Haruhi kept the beat, and as she counted, she swung her hips perfectly from side to side, hands on her hips and in perfect synchronization with Mikuru and Yuki. "Now you guys do it," she said, after coming to a stop after doing five swings of her hips.
All three boys looked from one to another with embarrassment and shame. For them, this was complete and utter torture.
"Here goes nothing," Sora whispered under his breath.
As soon as the three guys started swinging their hips like girls, they all immediately had turned a shade of bright pink. How embarrassing it was for guys to swing hips like girls!
Haruhi was even shaking her head in disgust.
"No, no, no!" she cried again, this time even more frustrated. "You're all out of synchronization! You're all doing it at different times! AAARRRGH!!"
Haruhi was right. They were completely and utterly out of order. Riku was going too fast, just so he could get the girly dance over with; Sora was going too slow, and trying to keep within his own beat which he was counting in his head; and Roxas was just plain lost and was moving towards the right when he was supposed to go left.
"You're all lucky I'm not going to make you sing the lyrics!" she warned, and then she pulled Sora forward and out of the line. Then, she grabbed his waist and pulled her hands down until she found Sora's hips.
Sora (who was appalled, shocked, embarrassed, happy, and surprised all at the same time) could only watch Haruhi take a firm grip of his body and move his body up and down and from side to side. Now he knew how helpless Mikuru had been just a few seconds ago.
"It's like THIS for the last time!" she cried as she still kept her grip on his hips. "And you'd better get it right!"
Riku and Roxas looked at Haruhi's act with wonder and horror. They hoped that they weren't her next victim.
Haruhi looked over at Mikuru and Yuki. "Why don't you help them out, too?" she said, nodding over towards Roxas and Riku.
The two boys' eyes widened with fear and they shook their heads 'no'. Thankfully, it seemed that Mikuru was too shy and too embarrassed to teach, and Yuki could care less, since she was adjusting her glasses while reading a book. Haruhi didn't seem to notice, since she was too busy torturing Sora and his hips.
"Okay, okay, okay, I get it already!" cried Sora, who could feel his hips becoming sore after only a couple of minutes of vigorous training. "Just let go of my hips!"
"You'd BETTER get it right!" Haruhi warned. "'Cause if you don't…!"
Sora could only imagine what he'd have in store if he didn't get this girly hip-swinging done right.
"Alright from the top!" Haruhi said with a clap of her hand. She turned to look over her shoulder and gave a nod at Kyon, who was one of the many helpless slaves that did Haruhi's busy work. He pressed the play button on the nearby stereo and the song to Hare Hare Yukai blared through the speakers.
As soon as the beginning of the song started with the fast-paced drum beat, Sora, Riku, and Roxas were swinging their arms madly and then once the beginning of the song opened, they were copying the exact same moves that Haruhi had taught them without her help. Then, the three boys made the cross with their arm and then moved to the right, and then raised their arms up again and made an arch-like motion with their arms before they began…the swinging of the hips.
Yes, it was embarrassing for them. And yes, they felt like sissy little cheerleaders. But if you weighted Haruhi's rage and the amount of embarrassment, Haruhi's rage would be far more heavier than the embarrassment.
Nazonazo mitai ni, chikyuugi wo tokiakashitara...
At this point, it was Sora's job as the lead to swing his hand from side to side each time he turned his body.
minna de doko made mo ikeru ne…
As Sora was imitating the moves Haruhi had specifically taught him, Roxas and Riku were in the background posing as Mikuru and Yuki, who were making small claps from side to side and making a rolling action with their fists. (Mikuru had told them to imagine that they were rolling some kind of imaginary dough.)
Jikan no hate made…
Now this was the sentence that Roxas had hated the most, since it was his cue to act like Mikuru and wave his hand like a fan near his face and use his other hand to waggle a finger up and down. In his opinion, he looked like a total dufus, while Haruhi was watching him intently, nodding and grinning when Roxas made that embarrassed and unsure look.
All three boys raised their hands high into the air and looked to the right. Now, they switched positions, while Sora pushed Riku to the left, and Roxas took the center stage.
WARP de LOOP na kono omoi wa...
Now that Roxas was the center of attention, he was more embarrassed than ever…and with so few people watching him! Just like Mikuru, he tried to pretend to look down at the floor with his hands behind his back, as if in thought. Then, he faced the rows of seats in front of him and tried to copy the point-of-the-finger-to-his-face and the try-to-look-cute-even-if-you're-not-a-curvy-and-volumptuous-girl-like-Mikuru actions. …But he failed miserably, since he just did a point to his face, made a wry smile, and then back-stepped so that Sora could take the center again as Haruhi. But Sora was still pushing Riku to the same spot that Roxas was running backwards to!
"Roxas, get out of the wa-!" Riku yelled through the blaring music.
But Roxas couldn't hear him, and a second later all three had bumped into one another and fell to the floor in a heap.
Haruhi gave another groan and then waved a hand behind her to tell Kyon to cut the music. Once the music was turned off, Haruhi marched over towards them and loomed over them with her hands on her hips.
Who would be the next victim?
"Roxas!" she yelled.
Roxas immediately looked up and stared into Haruhi's menacing amber eyes. He didn't know what to say, and could only gape at her.
"What the HELL was that?!" She yanked him up by one of his hands (and while Roxas was being dragged by Haruhi, his shoe crushed Riku's stomach along the way, making Riku yell and curse in pain). "Are you too high and mighty to not act like a girl?"
"Ugh, I can't take this anymore!" she complained. She looked over at Mikuru, who had watched every second of it. "Mikuru!"
The innocent and naïve girl looked over at Haruhi with her dark orange eyes. "Y-Yes?" she said in the most quiet and shaky voice Roxas had ever heard.
"Come over here and teach Roxas your moves," she said. "He just doesn't GET it."
"O-Okay…" Mikuru ran over towards Roxas, but she ran a bit too quickly and instead found herself tripping on a loose wooden plank of floorboard on the theater's stage. She managed to grab onto Roxas in order to try and keep her balance, but that only made Roxas freak out even more (since he'd never been grabbed so suddenly by a girl) and the two fell down with Mikuru on the top and Roxas sprawled helplessly on the bottom.
"Oh…my…God…" Haruhi said with exasperation. "This is so…" Haruhi stole a glance at the sight of the helpless Mikuru and clumsy Roxas. A grin appeared on her face and she was already running away to get something from Kyon.
"I-I-I'm so sorry!" cried Mikuru, who was still on top of Roxas.
"I-It's…okay…" said a muffled voice from below.
Riku and Sora, who had both managed to get up (and with Riku still holding his stomach) looked at the next victim…who actually wasn't really that much of a victim in Sora's mind.
After all, Mikuru DID have big…eyes.
"He's so lucky!" grumbled a disappointed Sora to his best friend, Riku. "Why didn't I get Mikuru's part?"
"Actually, I don't think you would've wanted Mikuru's part," said Riku. "It's the girliest part there is in this stupid dance."
"Yeah, but MIKURU is helping Roxas learn her part…"
Riku heaved a long sigh and shook his head. "Are big breasts more important than being embarrassed for learning girly dance moves?"
"HELL yes," said Sora with an impish smile.
"I thought you would say that," sighed Riku.
Suddenly, Sora and Riku saw Haruhi whiz by with a camera in her hand. 'Why would she need that for?' they thought to themselves. But little did they know the power Haruhi had when she was equipped with a camera…
"Oh, Mikuru you're so CUTE!" cooed Haruhi, and she snapped two photos in a row of Mikuru sprawled on top of Roxas.
"H-Haruhi! W-What are you doing!?" she cried with horror.
"Maybe we could do another sequel to The Adventures of Mikuru-chan! Except that Roxas here will be your next lover!" After taking three more snapshots, Haruhi paused and thought about this new idea. A few seconds later, she shook her head and continued to take a photos. "Nah, that wouldn't do. Preying on younger boys isn't good for the media…"
"Waah! Stop taking pictures!" cried Mikuru, who shut her eyes and held her two hands in front of her face.
"Aw, c'mon, Mikuru! Don't be like THAT," Haruhi pleaded, still taking photos of the two.
"Nngh…" Roxas was pulling himself up from the ground and managed to get out from between Mikuru's legs. But alas, Haruhi had taken a ton of photos when she saw how Roxas was trying to get off from the floor.
After Roxas had stood up and dusted himself off, he helped Mikuru up and apologized about the fall. Then, after a few words of polite apologies, Mikuru managed to help Roxas conquer his feelings of girliness, and helped him with her parts.
This also gave Haruhi some time to delete the unwanted photos from her camera. "Oh this one is nice! Yes, yes, I like this one. Ahaha! This is SO going on our SOS website!"
As Haruhi was cackling away, Sora looked over at Roxas with envy. Once Roxas was finished practicing Mikuru's part, he ran over to Riku and Sora and blushed once he realized they'd seen the whole thing.
"H-Hey, guys-!" Roxas started to say.
"You're so LUCKY!" Sora cut him off.
"Huh?" Roxas merely blinked at Sora with innocence.
"How were they?" Sora asked, jabbing Roxas's arm playfully. "C'mon, I want to know!"
"Sora, really," Riku said, sighing and running a hand through his hair. "Roxas isn't like you."
"Well, all guys have a common thing that they like," Sora corrected. "But I guess that excludes you, Riku."
"What are you talking about?" Roxas asked.
"You really don't know?" Riku asked him.
Sora sighed and with a roll of his eyes he patted his chest.
Roxas's eyes widened and he could feel his face flush.
"So? How were they?" Sora asked again.
"T-They were…nice?" Roxas tried to come up with a word that Sora would like. But sadly for him, that word wasn't the right one.
"Oh come ON," Sora pressed. "Is that it?"
"Sora…" Riku warned.
"Let's resume from where we started!" Haruhi commanded, clapping her hands and telling where each guy should start off from. "Now that Roxas has got his problem solved, AND I got some dirty photos…let's CONTINUE!"
"D-Dirty photos!?" Roxas said with terror, looking at Riku who was to his right.
"If only you knew," was all he said.
nani mo kamo wo makikonda souzou de......asobou!
They were all perfectly synchronized for this part, and raised their hands up slowly while bent down. And, when the "asobou" part came, they raised their hands up again faster this time, and side-stepped, while Sora (as the lead) made a pouty face and dropped a hand to his face, as if in disappointment (which he was, since he didn't get to see Mikuru's big…eyes).
Now from here on out, it got kind of tricky.
Aru hareta hi no koto...
The three boys waved a finger to the imaginary audience, while the other hand was firmly planted on their hips. Then, they made the fan-like hand action that was similar to Mikuru's part that Roxas had just learned.
mahou ijou no yukai ga...
This was sort of an embarrassing part, since they had to: one, have one hand on their hips; two, raise one foot up and down like a can-can girl; three, wave that annoying finger to the audience while moving it across their body; and four, raise both of their hands up and down like their were ready for a fight. It seemed so idiotic (especially for Riku, since he wasn't used to embarrassment) that they had to pump their arms up and down, but if it was what Haruhi wanted, it was what Haruhi would get.
kagirinaku furisosogu fukanou janai wa…
ashita mata au toki warainagara HUMMING…
This was yet another embarrassing part for them, but they unwillingly raised their hands up into the air, made fists, and then shook both their fists AND their heads around and around. By now, they weren't too sure WHAT they were supposed to imitate. Was this move supposed to resemble what a chibi anime girl would do? They weren't too sure…
ureshisa wo atsumeyou...
Now they simultaneously held their arms out and swayed back and forth, until the "atsumeyou", where they brought their hands to their body and then back out again.
kantan nanda yo konna no...
They pointed at the audience and then raised their hands up and down, as if they were weighing something in their hands.
oikakete ne tsukamaete mite…
After a few swaying of the hands, they spun around (with lots of shame) and quickly thrust their arms outward and slowly bent down to the ground…
ooki na yume & yume suki deshou?
This was the only time for individuality, since they were each taught someone else's action. Mikuru had taught Roxas to lean to the side and clutch his heart ("just like a princess waiting for his prince," she'd explained), Yuki had instructed Riku to put his two hands on his shoulders ("it's quite a simple action," she'd told him with a monotone voice), and Haruhi had ordered Sora to wink and do another twirl of his hand ("you'd better get this part right!" she'd threatened).
And, as the final actions, they did a few more quick actions with their hands, posed like a model for a few seconds, and then Riku and Roxas got down to the ground and extended their arms out, while Sora twirled once and then turned to his left, looked up high into the ceiling, and pointed a finger up high.
The music faded and soon ended…
…It was over…
Haruhi could hear the three boys' huffs, pants, and sighs of relief. She nodded in approval. "Yes, this is good, very good…" she said. "I think you guys are ready," she said with a smile.
The three boys looked at one another with smiles and nodded at one another. At last, their training was over. Now all they had to do was face their school for a minute and 13 seconds and then it would all be over…right?
"And, as a reward for your excellent dance skills…" Haruhi said. She turned to look at Yuki, who was already walking over to her with a bag of some sort…
Once Haruhi had snatched the bag from Yuki's hands (Yuki didn't seem to mind Haruhi's rude actions), she dug her hand into the bag and pulled out…
…A Sailor School Uniform for girls…
"…you'll get to wear these sailor outfits on stage!!"
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" yelled the guys in unison.
Riku, who had been fed up with this idea since the start, decided to take a stand up against Haruhi and pushed his way in front of Sora and Roxas.
"No way!" Riku yelled. "You expect us to wear SKIRTS in front of everyone?"
Haruhi looked at him with wonder and she blinked her amber eyes, dumbfounded. "Well, yeah," she said with a shrug.
"Sorry, but girly dance moves are enough for me," he said, turning around and starting to walk off the stage.
Suddenly, Riku could feel a firm grasp on his wrist as soon as he'd started to walk away, and he'd turned around and saw Haruhi looked straight at him.
"You're not going anywhere," she said in a serious tone.
But it sounded like the tone of death…
And in a blink of an eye, Haruhi had already had a firm grasp on Riku and twirled him around and started unzipping his black vest's zipper.
Haruhi was UNDRESSING Riku in front of everyone!
Sora and Roxas could only watch with mouths open wide.
Mikuru let out a cry and covered her eyes.
Yuki glanced up from her book after hearing lots of cursing, yelling, and shouts coming from Riku. Then, she looked back down at her text.
Kyon, who had been watching the whole thing from the front row, heaved a huge sigh and shook his head in disappointment.
"W-W-What are you DOING!?" cried Riku.
"Just shut up and stand there!" Haruhi yelled back, who had already taken off Riku's jacket and vest, and was pulling the sailor uniform over his head.
Riku's shouts of "rape!", "abuse!", "molestation!", and "sexual harassment!" were muffled by the sound of fabric being put over his head. As she was doing this, Haruhi turned to look over at Sora and Roxas, who stiffened when they saw her staring at them.
"Who's next?" she said with her usual devious grin.
Roxas and Sora exchanged looks at one another. Their expressions were the reflections of the other's.
Just what had they gotten themselves into?
Yes, so that's it! This is my first crossover, since I love both Kingdom Hearts and Haruhi.
Do you like it? Do you think there should be some things to fix? I'd like to know what you think! :D