Title: How to Make Near Snap in Thirty Point Four Days


We do not own Death Note, or any of its characters.

Warning: (By Jue): Some warnings for swearing, prank-pulling, bashing, etc… Everything that's normally included in good "humor" fic.

(By Alexz): Now, Jue didn't mention it, but there will be no shounen-ai in this fic as she made me sign a contract with my own blood stipulating I could not even imply any. So sorry.

Co-written by myself and Alexz-Square. Go check out her profile, even though there's nothing on it! XD

To every person who had a tear in their eyes during episode 35…

Chapter One: Dude, You Could Be Famous!

Nighttime… the time where the Wammy's House was actually quiet. The moment where children went to bed and would sleep lazily for hours on end, dreaming of whatever their subconscious desired. No more worries, no more pain, no more stress over the upcoming physics exam… Just good old sleep.

Oh! And, of course, the time when Matt could finally play games without anyone annoying him.

Keeping the volume muted so he wouldn't wake up his best friend that slept at the other end of the room, the boy kept on playing Super Mario on his beloved Nintendo DS. His tongue lightly hanging out of his mouth, his pupils dilated under his orange goggles, he mashed the buttons rapidly, trying to outdo the level.

He died anyways. Again.

Moaning lightly out of confusion, he lowered the console to shoot a glance at the clock besides him. There wasn't any time for him to keep playing. This was the hour. The minute. The precise time.

Hurriedly, the gaming boy shut off his Nintendo DS and lovingly looked down at it, before standing from his bed and pocketing his device. Shuffling across the room, he peered down at the form that slept on the mattress. Mello.

Now came the hard part. Even though his roommate had asked him to wake him up, he was also far from being a 'morning person'.

'But it's not morning,' Matt told himself as he reached to shake Mello's shoulder. Then he stopped and hesitated. 'If he yells… We're done…'Suddenly, an idea came to him. Tiptoeing across the room, he opened the drawer and shuffled through it, until he found what he had been looking for. A chocolate bar.

Kneeling besides the bed, Matt took a deep breath and began to unwrap the bar. The paper crisped and made small noises, the smell of chocolate lifting in the air.

Mello's eyes snapped open faster than a bullet could be shot.

Slowly, he sat up, his eyes wide and staring at the chocolate bar. It was an unspoken rule that Mello didn't touch Matt's gaming devices, and Matt would riposte with Mello's chocolate. Yet the redhead had now broken the rule. He shivered as Mello's eyes turned almost like a killer's.

Then it seemed to have sunk in that he had a voice, so Mello instantly yelled, "This is my bfrgh—"

He didn't have time to finish his sentence, since Matt hurriedly shoved the chocolate bar in his friend's mouth. "Shh," he stressed quietly. "It's time, come on!"

Matt turned around as Mello took a bite angrily, calming himself down. The two then made their way to a corner of their room, where they lit a small light so they'd be able to see what they were doing. Mello sat down with his back against the wall, devouring his beloved chocolate, as Matt pulled out the entire top drawer from their desk and cautiously overturned it.

Dozens of pieces of empty chocolate wrappers fell to the floor.

"Wow," Matt stated, suddenly amazed at the sheer number. "How long did it take you to collect all of that?"

Mello rolled his eyes. "I started the minute we agreed on the plan."

Matt twitched. "That was yesterday at lunchtime, Mello."

"Yeah," the blond shrugged. "I know."

The redhead stared at his accomplice for a few seconds, his eyes wide beneath the goggles. Then he shook his head rapidly and began counting. "Goodness, Mello, there's a hundred and eighty wrappers in here. You ate a hundred and eighty chocolate bars in fifteen hours? Why the hell aren't you in cardiac arrest right now?"

Mello shrugged carelessly, yet Matt kept on pushing "We should report this to Guinness World Records, you know…" He brightened. "You could be famous Mello! I see it happening- Teen eats 12 choco bars per hour! Without overdosing or dying! Incredible!"

Mello shot him an annoyed glare. "I'm not a circus freak, Matt."

The redhead returned the glare, only his was more skeptical as he eyed the leather his friend wore. Suddenly, though, he smiled as he replied, "You sure look like one though."

Mello cringed lightly, and was obviously about to counterattack, yet Matt suddenly pulled out two tubes of glue from another drawer.

"Enough talking!" the gamer stated as he tossed a tube at Mello. "We have some work to do!"

The pair began to work on their project, brows furrowed. The only sound in their room was of small scuffling as they glued and glued and placed and tilted their heads and measured.

"Hey, Mello!" Matt suddenly whispered after a while.

"Hm?" the blond answered as he began applying glue on the 87th wrapper.

Matt stopped working and stared. "Why are we doing this again?"

"Because we're us, and he's him," Mello replied with a nod, failing to see the look of utter horror/confusion on Matt's face. Then he seemed to consider the matter, and tilted his head as he continued. "And… because we're bored."

"Oh." That last part made sense at least. "Yeah! Cause we're bored, that's it."

Then Matt's eyes suddenly widened. "Oh my—Wait a minute!"

Hurriedly, he pulled out the DS from his pocket and lighted it up. A few seconds later, he was immersed in his game. "I think I know how to beat it, Mello! I think I—"

His head suddenly flew forward and slammed onto his DS, which fell to the floor. Mello retreated his hand from his friend's head, growling slightly. "Focus, Matt, focus! We must have this finished before he gets out of his REM stage!"

But then Mello placed his hand on the DS, obviously attempting to confiscate it.

Matt's eyes became dangerous and he suddenly shot the Mother of all glares towards Mello. His hands clutched in fists, and his face twisted with intense rage.

Mello set it back down quicker than he could open a chocolate bar.

Matt once again became docile, and began working on the wrappers once more, in complete silence. The DS remained by his side protectively, closed.

And then, they were finished.

"Done," both whispered at the same time, their eyes gleaming maliciously at their amazing creation. Then they locked eyes and smirked, as Mello nodded his approval.

"Ready to go?"

Matt nodded enthusiastically as he grabbed the pre-cut duct tape from a third drawer, along with some cement glue they had fished out of the janitor's closet. "Let's get this show on the road!"

Midnight Memories- A/N:
Heya people!
So as you all saw from the summary, I am co-authoring this fic with my amazing friend Alexz (username being Alexz-square, profile's utterly empty)! I'm co-authoring it because honestly, I can't write humor worth ten cents, so she's helping me out with it. I have no idea how many chapters this will be, but I hope you've enjoyed chapter one! The rest will be even better, promise!
Take care!

Alexz-square- A/N:
Well, pretty much like Jue mentioned above, I'm helping her out with this fic because she asked me to, and being the crazy fangirl that I am, I accepted eagerly. –Whispers to Jue – What am I supposed to say after that? If you guys didn't understand the chapter, it's normal. It's what we call "suspense".
I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed helping out with it!
Ja Ne!