I Want Brownies
Kinda sucks, but it has its humor.
(documentary told by Giratina)
" Hello, everybody ! My name is Giratina, and today I'm taking you on a journey of a chocolate freak. "
She points to a floating pink cat-like pokemon. " This is Mew. She may be the creator of the Kanto region, but she really doesn't have sense. She would do anything to get a plate of brownies. "
Mew huffed. " No, I wouldn't ! I'm more sane than Heatran ! "
" See what I mean ? She's totally in denial. "
" You bitch ! I am not in denial ! "
" Please ignore her. Anyway, I have compiled a list of how far Mew will go just for these chocolate treats. "
Number One - The brownies are in a store and Mew has no money.
The park is transformed into a convenience store. Mew scratched her head. " Giratina, where the flip am I ? "
" Uh, you're in a convenience sto- "
" Ooh ! Brownies ! "
Mew hovered over to the brownies and sighed. " Hey ! Celebi must have took my money ! That bastard ! "
She looked in both directions before grinning widely and teleporting the brownies. " Yes ! Mine ! ALL MINEEEE ! "
Giratina rolled her eyes. " We see that Mew would steal. "
Number Two - Jirachi has a box of brownies
" Hee hee hee ! I got brownies ! " Jirachi said, giggling.
She spun in a circle. Mew gasped. " Jirachi, are those brownies ? "
" Sure are ! Pure chocolate ! "
" Wow ! Can I have the box ? "
Jirachi scoffed. " Why should I ? "
" ' Cause I burned Manaphy. "
" You WHAT ?! NOOOO ! MANNY - KUN ! "
The wishing legendary quickly ran to the Manaphy, who was coughing. He glared at Mew. " She tried to kill me ! That bitch ! "
" Mew ! You jerk ! " Jirachi cried.
It was too late, though. Mew had already escaped with the goods.
(We all know now that Mew would do murder for brownies)
Lesson Three - A box of brownies is in Mesprit's house and Mew is drunk.
" Hey ! Giratina ! I'm waaaasted ! " Mew exclaimed.
(Yeah...you know, I'm gonna set this one out, Arceus. Kids, don't try this anywhere, 'cause by now we know that Mew is a psychopath.)
Mew stared with wide eyes into one of the windows. " Wow. That...bitch has brownies. I want some ! "
Suddenly, Mesprit came outside, smirking. " Hey, if it isn't the wino. Hi, Mew ! What do you want ? "
" BROWNIES ! I WANT BROWNIEEEES ! "
The cat-like legendary poofed up a paper shredder and shoved Mesprit into it. She then broke into the house and took the brownies. " YAY ! I RUUUULE ! "
Giratina sweatdropped. " Uh...did Mew just kill Mesprit ? " she asked the cameraman, Mewtwo.
" Nawww, she sent her to the candy mountain. "
A few trees disappeared. A bunch of houses set on fire. Pandemonium struck everywhere on Mount Olympceus.
" God, this is this the fourth time she's ruined the natural order ! " Giratina hissed. " We now know that Mew is insane ! "
So, we all know that Mew is severely mental. To prove this, I did one final test. I tied a brownie to her tail. And in a crazed state, she bit off her tail.
See what I mean ? Lock your doors. Barb wire your fences. Make sure your glasses are cleaned ('cause the last time I forgot she and Latias broke in and stole my chocolate cake, which really surprised me 'cause Mew makes fun of Lati's weight all the time.)
And remember, fellow legendaries, never say the brown word within psychic distance of Mew, 'cause she will stalk you (like she did with Latias).
This is Giratina of PK TV, signing off.