Disclaimer – I do not own anything Narnia. I wish i did, but i don't.

WARNING – My first Narnia story, so probably nooberlicious. Peter is ego-tastic (but then again, we knew that already) and Caspian actually has some level of self-control (OOC, I know). Involves angry sex between two hormonal teenage boys, one of which is actually approx. 3000 years older than the other, not to mention they both get hammered on the good stuff (faun alcohol). Susan is not impressed and Lucy likes chocolate bikkies.

Written as a b'day pressie for Spectacular Nell.

King Caspian rubbed his temples with the tips of his fingers. As if being a young ruler in charge of thousands upon thousands of Telmarines and Narnians wasn't difficult enough without the extra complication of a backseat-driver King. It had gotten to the point where Caspian was seriously thinking of telling him to just go home, he wasn't needed anymore. Of course, this was where real complication began. Because whenever he thought of his superior actually leaving, it hurt.

The quickening heartbeat, surge of passion and images of wrestling with Peter in a large bed whenever he saw the boy constantly made him hope that no, he wasn't in love and actually just wanted to kill him, but in truth he was smitten like a kitten. Of course there was no way he was ever going to admit that to anyone, let alone himself.

The royal advisor ignored the young king's blatant lack of attention and went on to describe the urgency of the situation regarding a lack of boats for a fleet they didn't need.

'I don't suppose I'm interrupting?' a small voice came from the door. Without looking up, Caspian sighed in relief and let his hands fall to his knees. 'No, please, distract me, by all means.'

The diminutive Queen Lucy entered the room, and the disgruntled royal advisor was waved away.

'Now,' Caspian said, standing politely to address the young Queen of old. 'For what purpose does Queen Lucy request audience?'

Lucy clearly looked annoyed at something, and by experience, Caspian knew it was not a very good idea to refuse her anything during this mood. He prepared himself to send for a plate of cookies.

'It's Peter,' she grumbled. 'Isn't it always,' Caspian agreed, and sat down. Lucy half-jumped onto a chair, feet only nearly touching the floor. 'He said before that he'd teach me how to use a sword, but now he says I'm too young.'

Caspian was on the verge of taking Peter's side, but caught himself just in time. There was no way he was ever going to automatically agree with that dickhead.

'Why would he promise something like that then change his mind at the last minute?' he wondered, watching Lucy pout. She sat on her hands and looked hopefully at Caspian. 'The head cook makes good chocolate biscuits, doesn't he?'

Caspian smiled at the barely concealed suggestion, and sent for some. Moments later, a plate sat between them and they talked avidly, almost conspiratorially, about the High King's flaws and how he might improve them.

'And sometimes,' Lucy said between mouthfuls, 'He gets angry for no reason. It's like ...' she paused to brush some crumbs off her dress, 'it's easier for him to be angry than anything else.'

'And what do you suggest he ought to do about that?' Caspian asked, having enjoyed Lucy's creative comments so far.

'He needs a pet,' Lucy said suddenly. 'Like a pet dog or cat. Something to calm him down, something for him to look after. Though I suppose,' she looked to the side thoughtfully. 'Not many Narnians would like being kept as pets.'

'I don't think so,' Caspian said. 'Besides, his Highness doesn't seem to be effected the same way you are by Reepicheep and Trufflehunter and the like. Perhaps he needs a person instead.'

'A pet person?' Lucy asked, expression incredulous. 'No,' Caspian laughed. 'Rather, a person very important to him. Somebody ...' his expression became thoughtful. He realized how uncomfortable it would be trying to explain the type of relationship he meant to somebody as young as Lucy, especially having such a lack of experience himself.

'Someone like who?' she asked, now curious.

'Somebody like a mother to your father,' Caspian said, slightly awkwardly. 'A lover.'

'You mean like a girlfriend?' Lucy asked, bearing a look of distaste and at the same time glee at the thought of her older brother having a partner. Caspian shrugged, not knowing what "girlfriend" meant. He guessed it sounded close enough.

'How would a girlfriend help?' Lucy asked. Caspian wished he hadn't brought it up, and scratched the back of his head uncomfortably. 'It would help, sort of in the same way a pet would. I suppose people calm down in the presence of people they love,' he explained. Lucy shook her head.

'Not in his case. Peter's never been good with girls. He wouldn't know what to do with one,' she giggled cheekily, and Caspian chuckled, though surprised. He had always imagined that Peter would be the confident, come-hither type, who would take control, take charge, and dominate everything he could poke a stick at. The way he did when he first arrived. Involuntarily, his tongue darted out to lick his lips. Fortunately, Lucy, being an innocent child, took this as a break in his facade of not wanting a cookie, and offered him one. He took it.

'Maybe he needs a very good friend,' Lucy said, nibbling on a cookie. 'You and Peter!' she suddenly said, her face brightening.

'Are you sure?' Caspian asked doubtfully. 'I think he's jealous of you. He just needs to get to know you better, and the two of you could be very good friends!' she chirped.

'Jealous of me?' Caspian repeated. He had barely heard anything beyond that line.

'I think he feels like he's been replaced,' Lucy whispered loudly, leaning forward, as though Peter might be in the room somewhere. Caspian raised his eyebrows.

'When he left Narnia, it was after we had grown up. But when we went home, we were children again. We went from being adults to being children. Peter doesn't want to be one though. He prefers to be treated with respect, like an adult.'

'He has the respect of all of Narnia,' Caspian replied. 'Does he not see that?'

'But so have you,' Lucy replied. She took another mouthful of cookie.

'He wants to be the bigger kid.'

Caspian spent the rest of the day, and a fair bit of the night as well, wondering how the High King's arrogance and apparent detest for him could revolve around not being the "bigger kid", and decided that Peter must be far less mature than he thought he was.

The next day, the king found himself sitting behind a large offering from the people of the forest. Apparently, they had had a festival recently, and though he was disappointed to have missed it, Caspian wondered, truly, how much alcohol they thought they would need to have brewed too much for even all the Narnians (and apparently Edmund and Peter as well) to drink together. Literally barrels and barrels of mead, scotch whisky and other such drinks were sitting before him as a messenger (a still slightly smashed faun) explained to him that the people of the forest thought it a fitting gift, seeing as the king had missed out on the festival. Apparently the very finest (distilled from various rare roots and berries) had been sent right up to his personal chambers.

After managing to escape from his advisor and council, Caspian drifted up and down a few castle corridors, savouring the utter lack of usual daily scramble and clutter. He even managed to quietly sit beneath a tree for a while. Upon returning in the evening to his tower, he bumped into somebody who had, quite obviously, been running around the corner. He instinctually grabbed the offending person and readied himself for fighting off a bandit or assassin.

The figure struggled away and fell into the light of a torch, and Caspian saw that it was none other than the man himself.

'High King Peter,' Caspian said. 'What are you doing running around this late?'

'Don't sound so suspicious, I might ask the same of you,' Peter replied hastily.

'Avoiding someone?' Caspian asked, looking around the corner from where his rival had run. Susan was lurking around, looking quite irritated and calling Peter's name. He was about to call out to her when he felt a hand clamp over his mouth and an arm drag him around until his back was against the wall. He suddenly found himself pinned between Peter and the grey bricks, and in such close proximity, noticed that Peter was looking a bit undone and his eyes were ever so slightly out of focus.

'Are you drunk?' he hissed as Peter removed his hand from his mouth.

'Stay still and shut up,' Peter growled quietly. There was definitely a hint of alcohol on his breath. Caspian realised that Peter had placed both hands either side of his chest, pinning his arms in place. They stood stock still as Susan's voice approached their general area. What would happen if she did find Peter? She didn't sound very happy, and Caspian did not want to get caught apparently aiding Peter in whatever mad escapade had gotten him in trouble with her. Eventually, her voice faded as she rounded another corner. Caspian let out the breath he didn't realize he had been holding. As Peter loosened his stiff posture, Caspian grabbed both his wrists and held on tightly.

'I don't care if she feeds you to the minotaurs for whatever you've done,' Caspian said to the now very annoyed-looking royal. 'I'm calling her back here.'

'No you're not,' Peter said, struggling to get his wrists free and cover Caspian's mouth. He successfully held him against the wall, but his hands weren't going anywhere. Caspian drew in the breath necessary to call Susan, but before he could, something warm and soft covered his lips. He gasped, and froze. Peter pressed his whole weight against Caspian urgently, but it wasn't necessary. The shock of the boy's unexpected kiss had halted all of Caspian's mental functions save one little voice, which was currently stammering its absolute approval.

Pushing Peter away, Caspian stumbled back toward his tower, and was almost outraged to see Peter was following him.

'Stay away, you drunken idiot!' Caspian shouted, and Peter made urgent shushing noises, still chasing him. Taking advantage of the stairs, Caspian sped up them taking two at a time, but Peter was defter in his tipsy state than when he was sober.

Caspian reached his room, but Peter got there at the same time, hurling himself in and landing on the floor. Caspian tripped over his un-gracefully outstretched leg and toppled on top of him. Peter rolled them over so he was sitting astride Caspian, whose head banged against the floor.

'Ow!' Caspian shouted. 'Get off!'

'No,' Peter said. 'You'll get Su and tell her where I am.'

'I won't, I promise,' Caspian said, now slightly scared. Not just because Peter was drunk and sitting on top of him, but because he liked it. If he didn't get himself out of this situation soon, he was going to roll them over and kiss Peter senseless, and that was NOT a good idea, no matter how attractive it sounded. They were both boys, for Narnia's sake!

'I'm staying here tonight,' Peter said, getting up. Caspian shook his head, still lying down, squeezing his eyes shut and covering his face with his hands.

'No, no, no, you can't,' Caspian said.

'I have to keep an eye on you, and this way I can do that and avoid Su at the same time,' Peter said. He approached two barrels that sat on the opposite wall.

'Why hello,' he said, kneeling before one. 'This looks like the one-shot wonder stuff. I suppose the fauns must have put two barrels aside for you.'

'Don't touch that,' Caspian said in a warning voice, stalking up and nudging Peter away. 'Well you aren't going to drink it,' Peter said. 'Can't have a hammered King.'

'That didn't stop you.'

'I'm the High King of old, Peter the Magnificent,' Peter said grandly, throwing his arms out so wide he barely missed slapping Caspian in the face. 'I can do whatever I want.'

'Well I'm King Caspian the Responsible, who will stop you at any costs from inebriating yourself further. You've clearly drunk more than enough for today.'

'What are you going to do? Tie me to the bed?' Peter taunted, and Caspian gallantly fought off mental images of doing just that, and more. 'If necessary,' he said, trying to keep composure.

'Go ahead,' Peter said casually. 'I can't feel my fingers anyway.'

Caspian was exasperated. 'Of course I won't tie you to the bed. You're not sleeping on the bed, I am.'

'I'm not going to get to sleep tonight. And you probably need a teddy anyway,' Peter said, slumping down onto the mattress. Caspian was about to roar something at him, but then an idea entered his head. If he could get Peter so drunk that he fell asleep, and then called some guards to help him to his own room, he could avoid getting into trouble from Susan and taking advantage of Peter, who was now lying in an unintentionally provocative manner on his bed. And Peter had been right about him not drinking the alcohol that sat looking harmless in the corner of his room.

'High King,' he said, and Peter sat up, rubbing his eyes. 'What?'

'I suppose if you promise not to drink too much of that liquor ...'

Peter's eyes lit up. 'I promise,' he said, a little too quickly. Caspian gave him a smile that he hoped wasn't too sneaky.

1 HOUR LATER ...

'And then ... and then they tried to make me apologize!' Peter howled, outraged, lying on his front on the floor, wonkily supported by his elbow. Caspian shook his head, perhaps a little too quickly, because the room started to catch up. He struggled to sit up and set his head between his knees.

'Alright ...' he slurred, so that it probably sounded more like "ollut". He crossed his legs with some difficulty, and pointed up, swaying slightly. 'That one's the ceiling.'

'Close enough. I think its bit to the left,' Peter commented, squinting at Caspian, who was now trying to stand. 'That is not a good idea,' he said disapprovingly. Caspian gripped the headboard of the bed, and stood with his feet far apart.

'Issnot my fault I have no essperience with ... drunk,' Caspian rasped, tumbling onto the bed.

'Here's how you do it. Watch, watch!' Peter demanded, until he saw Caspian's head appear over the side of the large bed. He began to crawl across the floor, something like a lizard, until he reached the bed which he hauled himself onto. 'Much easier.' Caspian looked down at the floor, then at Peter.

'How did you get up this high?'

Peter was looking very carefully at Caspian, and didn't seem to have heard a word he said. 'You're very, very handsome,' he said, blinking hard halfway through the sentence. 'Handsomer than me. And y'have a sexy accent. And smart. And verr, verr good leader.'

'No,' Caspian said, shaking his head too hard again, and grabbing Peter by the shoulders to steady himself, nearly sending them toppling onto the floor in the process. 'You, are a legend. A legendary ... I used to be told stories about you as a little boy. You're better. And taller.'

'No, I think you're taller.'

'And I'm handsome but you ... you're so beautiful.'

Peter was flattered. 'You got told stories 'bout me?'

'Yes. All sorts of stories. And you were ... am I really handsome?'

'Your eyes look like chocolate,' Peter said, stroking a lock of hair out of Caspian's eyes. 'I love chocolate.' Caspian looked down at his hands, blushing. Peter put both his hands on Caspian's shoulders and pushed him down onto his back, straddling him. He got up on his knees and took off his shirt. 'It's too hot,' he said.

Though he was quite drunk, Caspian was also quite sure that this was not the plan.

'You're not ... meant to be on top of me,' he slurred. With great effort, he managed to push Peter onto his side, and to his relief, Peter lay with his eyes closed, his only movement to be to snuggle up to his side and breathe deeply. 'So shleppy,' Peter murmured. Caspian gave up on any idea of moving Peter to another room and lay there, drifting off to sleep with pleasant speed.

IT LOOKS LIKE 2 IN THE MORNING ...

Caspian woke up, head stinging and right arm gone. He looked across to the side to see Peter lying on said arm, wide awake and staring at Caspian's chin suspiciously. Their eyes met, and Caspian rolled over, feeling both physically and mentally awful. 'My head feels like someone hit it with a dwarf.'

'That's a hangover. You'll live.'

Caspian shut his eyes and tried to manoeuvre himself out of his shirt while still lying down. 'I need to get some proper sleep,' he said. 'And that means you have to sleep somewhere else.'

'I am the High King, and I have a hangover just like you, so I stay in bed,' Peter grumbled. 'Stop moving around so much. And why are you getting naked?'

Caspian sat up. 'I'm not getting naked. I just prefer to sleep wearing less, if I can. It is more comfortable,' he said, taking off his boots. He tried not to look at Peter, who began to do the same. 'Why don't you go to your room now?'

'I'd prefer stay right here. Don't worry,' Peter said, an edge now in his voice. 'I won't take advantage of you.'

Caspian turned around and glared at Peter. 'You couldn't if you wanted to. I'm stronger than you.'

'In your dreams,' Peter spat back.

'You couldn't wrestle a cat into a cat basket!'

'Oh really?' Peter leapt on top of Caspian, and pushed him down onto the bed, holding him down with the weight of his body. Before either realised it, Peter's body was flush against his, with his right knee between Caspian's thighs, and their faces were so close that their noses were touching. They both stopped struggling, not sure whether to feel horrified or blessed that they had found themselves in such a position. More importantly, Caspian could feel a fairly obvious indication between Peter's legs that he wasn't the only one enjoying the sensation of their two bodies pressed together.

'See? Told you,' Peter said, trying to sound like everything was normal. Caspian nodded slowly. 'You can stay then ... tonight.'

'Wait ... what?' Peter seemed suddenly confused. He got onto his knees, legs still tangled with Caspian's, looking down at the dishevelled and undeniably sexy King beneath him. Caspian's pain was outmatched by the lust in his eyes, and they had darkened, and his lips were full and slightly pinker than Peter remembered. He leant down over Caspian, cautiously, and brushed his lips over the King's. Caspian pulled Peter back down and pounced on top of him, all inhibitions thrown out the window. They kissed, crossing tongues like swords, each battling for dominance over the other. Peter undid the remainder of Caspian's clothes and removed them, while Caspian bypassed the buttons altogether, tearing Peter's shirt off and dragging his pants down his legs, kissing the legs as he did so. Throwing the pants on the floor for effect, he licked a trail from Peter's knee to his inner thigh, until he had the speechless High King panting and groaning beneath him.

'Please,' Peter stammered as Caspian stroked his lower back while dipping his tongue quickly into his navel and moving upward. 'Please what?' Caspian asked quietly, sucking his left nipple.

'... I can't remember ...' Peter breathed, digging his fingers into the bed as Caspian scraped his teeth gently over his neck. Caspian chuckled, nibbling gently on his earlobe.

'Where did you learn this?' Peter asked, voice full of disbelief and desire, stroking Caspian's back.

'I'm going by instinct,' Caspian replied, entwining his legs with Peter's, so their bodies were pressed together, hard, in the most intimate of places. Peter sucked on Caspian's lower lip, biting it gently and gazing at the younger man through his dark hair which fell like a curtain each side of his face. He gasped as Caspian began to grind against him, eliciting moans from the depths of his chest, and a searing heat that surged from his gender straight to his head. Caspian buried his face between Peter's neck and shoulder and Peter arched his back, spreading his legs and allowing Caspian's hand between them. He writhed beneath the onslaught of pleasure, pleading and begging for more, barely noticing Caspian slide down his body until he felt the warm, wet, relentless vacuum close around his cock and looked down in shock to see Caspian take him fully into his mouth.

He threw his head back and groaned, throwing his legs over Caspian's shoulders. He cried out the King's name, again and again, until he felt release strike him hard and stars exploded before his eyes. He jerked uncontrollably, and heard Caspian choke.

Caspian rose slowly on his hands, licking his lips and watching the expression on his lover's face change. He sat up, the other boy's legs still over his shoulders, and gave Peter a full view of his manhood, which was still clearly in need of attention. He leaned forward and dipped two fingers into Peter's mouth. The boy sucked them, twirling his tongue around each finger, and Caspian was tempted to make Peter repay him for the exact deed. But he had something else in mind.

Peter's eyes snapped open in surprise when Caspian pushed both fingers inside him, and he wriggled uncomfortably. 'Don't move around so much,' Caspian instructed, and Peter looked at his face, confused.

'It feels strange,' he said softly. Caspian smiled, and scissored his fingers experimentally. 'I'm preparing you for something else,' he explained, gesturing discreetly. Peter's eyes widened.

'But your ... it's huge! It'll hurt ...' he complained, trying to sit up. Caspian shoved him back down, leaning over him.

'It will. But it will be pleasure that overwhelms you,' he purred, removing his fingers. 'I promise.' Peter still looked unsure, but the expression changed as he felt the blunt tip against his opening. 'It's ... wet,' he choked, as Caspian started to push himself in. Peter hissed and gripped Caspian between his thighs. 'So tight ... ah ... C-caspian,' he started to shiver, and reached down to squeeze his own cock, which was already starting to harden again. He gazed hazily at Caspian, who was now almost completely in. He suddenly cried out, and dramatically twisted his hips. Caspian froze and grabbed Peter around the waist to stop him moving. Peter rose up so he was sitting in Caspian's lap.

'Did I hurt you?' he asked, searching Peter's eyes. But he only saw lust. Peter seemed breathless, digging his nails into Caspian's shoulders. He stared into the king's eyes with sudden fury. 'Take me ... or I'll take you,' he snarled, pushing himself down onto Caspian's dick and throwing him onto his back. He thrusted his hips, head thrown back and mouth wide open, dragging his fingertips down Caspian's chest, leaving defined red lines. Caspian grabbed Peter's hips again and let himself be ridden, squeezing his eyes shut and giving in to sensation. He cried Peter's name as he rapidly neared orgasm, bucking violently. Peter grabbed Caspian's arms and they came together.

Collapsing onto the bed next to Caspian, completely sated, Peter once again cuddled up to him and kissed his chest before using it as a pillow.

'That ... was so ...' Caspian whispered.

'Spectacular,' Peter finished, and kissed him quiet.

3 HOURS LATER ...

'Susan! Susan!' Lucy squealed, careening around the corner and nearly knocking her sister over. Susan caught her, and looked seriously into her face. 'What is it, Lucy?'

'It's Peter and Caspian!' Lucy said urgently. 'Something happened!'

'What's happened?'

'Somebody attacked them! They're lying in Caspian's room, and they have bruises and red marks all over their bodies!' Lucy cried, dragging Susan by the arm up the stairs to their room.

'I heard loud noises while I was on my way to the kitchens, so on my way back I went to check, and I just found them like this!' she explained, throwing the door open to Caspian's bedroom.