Brain Damage

"I'm not gonna lie, pops, this is kinda fuckin' weird. No lies."

Minato grinned a little at him, nodding his head and glancing at the school. "I know, kid. You'll get used to it. Y'know the language pretty well, but the place's designed for foreign students, so most people can understand English if you can't get the Japanese. You'll be okay."

"Says the guy who got to chill in the US for his Education."

"I sold myself to the wage, kid, what can I say?"

Naruto snorted, shrugging the uniform into a bit looser hold on his shoulders. It was weird- just about all of this place was, but his mom was inclined towards returning, and Minato got a job offer. (The two were surviving hippies, which would be pretty damn interesting to watch with Japan's tightass court system all over the place, but it would do.) "Yeah, yeah. Go change the world a little, I'll go get smart."

Minato smiled, appreciatively. "I'll pick you up after class."

Naruto stepped out of the car, ruffling his hair a little and waving goodbye to his father. God this was weird. Even though Kushina and Minato were aging, maturing hippies, Naruto really wasn't. These were the best years of his life, every day was the summer of love for him, and the 1960s never stopped. He'd spent the first year of High School – which was, apparently, the last year of Middle School in Japan – smoking pot, making music, fighting the power, painting awkward beauties, making love to heartbreakers, and, just to spice it up, letting the power win on occasion. (Of course, winning the battle wasn't winning the war.) And for the past ten years had he gone to school in tye-dye shirts and orange pants and fuck if he knew what to do with a uniform. Godfuck if he knew what to do with a lot of Japanese shit, he'd been bug-eyed to find out the kids had to go to school on Saturday and their summer lasted a month or something. Despite the fact that America's government was kind of fucked up the ass, he missed it the second all of his Immigration papers got signed and he started moving his stuff into his new house.

Fuck if that had been depressing.

School apparently didn't start for another hour, but Naruto was so messed up on Jet Lag still that he felt energetic enough to go early, check it out. Minato had gotten him a list of shit to do on his first day, which included meeting the King, getting a schedule, not raising hell, trying to pay attention, and take a test to see what level classes he needed to take. "That seems out of order... whatever, time to go make a beauty in this place." He grinned, popping his knuckles and heading for the front door. Pushed it forward, and if he were the type to ever really feel stupid over anything he might have facepalmed himself for not reading the sign on the handle that clearly said to "Pull". (In Japanese, sure, but Naruto was pretty damn good at reading and speaking it. His handwriting was fucked up, though, but that had more to do with trying to write something with nine thousand or more goddamn lines in a tiny little space. What was that.)

He pulled it open, snorting at himself, and blinked in surprise. He used to live in California, but the common-mall he'd walked in to was more diverse than anywhere he'd seen back in the states. When Minato said foreign students, Naruto thought 'Oh, white kids.', but there were a lot of different types of people, all babbling in Japanese and all carrying weird, thick accents. He watched a pretty black girl walk past him, carrying a couple of books in her hand and talking to a white girl and a Saudi kid. "Wow, shit. This is awesome."

There were a few Asians too, probably from Korea or China or something, and he watched the mess of culture fly by him as he ruffled his hair again. It was bleach-blonde from all the California sun, cut choppily and almost hitting his shoulders since he'd been forced to cut it before he came to Japan. The school Minato had originally planned on putting him in had a length rule (-which, of course, Naruto laughed at the second Minato said it, something along the lines of "-AHAHAHA, A LENGTH RULE. Oh, oh god. Oh god that's rich. Silly, silly Asians and their inferiority complexes." To which Minato laughed too, because damn had he raised a kid a lot like him at that age.) – however, at the last second, he found a different school, and judging by the fact that a really pretty-ass blonde kid with a huge ponytail of hair wearing a boy's uniform just stalked past him too, there probably wasn't a rule over hair.

(Which sucked cock, considering he'd lost a foot of his favorite hair. Not like he'd had any other type of hair, but it comes as it comes.)

"Yo, anyone!"

He flagged down a girl with dyed hair. "Gimme some love and tell me where the Fist of this place is?"

She blinked at him. "Say what, white-boy?"

"The head of the place. I need'a list of educationals."

She snorted a bit. "Yeah, sure, whatever. Go to that office place over there, the one nobody's hanging out at. You're lookin' for Tsunade. Blonde hair and huge tits, you'll know her when you see her."

"Aight, thanks baby, you saved my Holiday."

He watched her walk off, muttering something about "Freakin' treehuggers…", which only made him laugh as he fisted the pockets of his pants, which he'd specifically asked to be a size bigger because godfuck everything was tight here. Japanese kids were tiny, but Naruto was tall and had a wiry, lanky frame, even at sixteen. That's what genes gave you, he guessed, when your mom's Irish and the dad's American. He weaved through kids, most of which were chattering idly- this was not his image of a Japanese school, but this was an Alternative one. Most kids only stayed at this place for a year, maybe two, before going to a regular Japanese school. "Which is kinda shitty," he muttered out loud, finding the door and twisting the knob to walk in.

There were two desks, between them a walkway which split off into a hall that he couldn't see down into very far, but he figured there were offices in there. The ones you got suspended in for smoking pot in Vocational, or something. He grinned.

"Can I help you?"

He jerked out of memory and stared at the receptionist. Man she was cute. What was with this place? "Yeah, baby, you can- I need to see the principal. Get schedule and stuff, I just got here."

"Oh, really?"

She smiled, genuinely. "Well, great, it's always good to have new faces here- this school is pretty close knit. I'll go tell her you're here, go ahead and take a seat."

Naruto blinked and smiled, speaking a "Thanks, man," and choosing himself a seat. So much for Japanese hardasses, they were pretty nice here. "Aw fuck, jinxed it." He mumbled, out loud, but his grin was still in-place, the way it usually was, scratching a bit at one of his facial scars. The place seemed pretty loose, though. All the kids were there early, just chillin', which Naruto had the impression if they came to school early, it was to do extra studying shit. That's what The Man said the Japanese did, anyways, some sort of subliminal message to make the American kids unconsciously study harder or something. At his school, though, Naruto never really spent a lot of time studying because his calling in life didn't require on reading all of Hemingway's crap.

(Not that he knew what said calling was. Though it'd be just his kind of irony that he'd decide he'd want to be an English Literature major or some shit when he turned eighteen.)

"Tsunade-sama's ready to see you now! Third door to the right."

Naruto stood up and nodded, flashing her one last smile before heading off into the hall. The right. He held up his hands for a second (-it was one of those things that never really got completely programmed into his head, and he always had to check which way was what. He laughed at himself for it.) Deciding that right was the side of his dominant head and counting doors until he hit the third, glancing at the closed door and not bothering to knock but just walk in.

"Yo, I'm the-"

Oh wow.

Huge tits? That girl couldn't even remotely give them justice. The woman looked young, had blonde hair in low pigtails and a drunken flush on her cheeks, but god if Naruto only looked at that for a second because holy fucking shit. He gaped, for a few seconds, only jolted out of his stare when the woman smashed a shot glass down on her desk to pour herself more whatever, looking up at Naruto in a slightly-buzzed gaze and "-C'mon in, kid. Take a seat. I heard you're Minato's kid?"

Naruto nodded, mouth still hanging open a bit, but nonetheless pulling out one of the chairs and sitting down, throwing his legs into the one next to it. "Put your feet down, you're not here to get comfortable."

"You look like you are." He replied, with a slight grin.

And then she did something Naruto could have never guessed she would do in a million years.

She punched him.


Threw him and the chairs he was in a good seven or eight feet, right into the wall.

The receptionist from outside laughed a little at the cry and thud of body to plaster she could hear from where she sat. She was wondering when that was going to happen.


"Alright kid, here's your schedule."

Forty-five minutes of consistent arguing, many punches being thrown to Naruto, and a grand total of ten minutes explaining how classes worked, she'd finally run off the list. "School on Saturday's optional here, you just come to the classes you need to work in if you come at all. Most of your classes will be in the same room, since the teachers come to you, but the group of students you're in class with are the ones you're stuck with all year. At the end of the day, you clean the school for fifteen minutes, then you can go to clubs or go home – it doesn't matter to me. Don't be a dick, blondie. The Prez' of your grade is in your class, so I'm making him tote you around all day."

Naruto laughed out right, even if both of his cheeks now sported deep bruises. The Man was stuck with him for the day, how ironic. This kid had to be some tightass bastard.

"Oi, Shizune, send Uchiha in." – over some little button-speaker-box-fancy-thing on the table.

"Yes, Tsunade-sama!"

She looked back at him. "Don't be a dick, blondie, I mean it. We'll kick your ass out if you raise too much hell."

"Yeah, yeah, the Cali-feds said that too."

The door opened, and Naruto didn't turn around, just listened to the footsteps cross the floor to his side. "This is Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke. Uchiha Sasuke, this is Uzumaki Naruto. Try not to rip the kid's arms off, it's taken me some self-control."

"Which I have significantly more of, Tsunade-sensei, as I am not intoxicated or particularly impulsive."

Naruto froze. Fuck.

"Don't be smart, just take him and get out of here. Class starts in like, ten minutes."

Sasuke snickered a little and Naruto stood up, turning to stare at him from five inches above him.

"Come on, Uzumaki, let's go."

Naruto felt himself harden, immediately. (Fuckfuckfuck.) Didn't move an inch, just stared at Sasuke, very intently at that. (FuckfuckfuckFUCK.) He felt a sweat bead at the back of his neck, staring at his features (-Not Japanese. He looked young, maybe Korean? Even young looking for a Korean. Long bangs, choppy hair in the back that would have classified as Emo-hair in America, and he looked girly. Not over the top Japanese-Rock girly, but like- if he didn't know he was a guy-) He just stared. Gaped. (Godfuckingfuckfuckfuck.) "I said come on, classes start in ten-"

Naruto grabbed the back of his neck, pulled him forward, kissed him without warning.

(Uchiha Sasuke was the most androgynously attractive thing he had ever seen.)


OKAY 8D So. I'm starting a fic. Hopefully.. my inspiration for Hippie!Naruto among all of these foreign kids will hold A But I mean, he is a hippie. So free love abounds I doubt Sasuke will be into that : NaruSasu ftw. Oh, and for the record, the title comes from the song by Pink Floyd. Stoner classics, yum

Review if you have a soul? D8