Life After Death Bloopers

Seven months later and I finally get the bloopers reel up, along with a lone deleted scene. I decided to put this at the tail end of the story instead of making it a standalone thing.

The bloopers are set in script format. Names are the people who played the roles, instead of the roles they actually played. This is why there is a credit chapter right before this, so just in case you don't know who the actors/actresses were, you can go back and see.

The extra scene is set with characters, not cast. This is because it was written, then taken out later.

The lines indicate a scene change. Imagine that high-pitched beep-beep sound you hear when you watch a reel on TV or a DVD, along with a brief white flash of light. Hey, it's low budget here. Like, no budget. At all.

Anyway, here you go. Enjoy. Drop a review if you wish; I would appreciate one.


Head Dalek: You – will – be – ex-ter-mi-nat-ed.

McGann: (mock-groaning) Not if you're exterminated first. (Slams button; nothing happens) What the–? (Punches it again; still nothing) It's not working! (Laughs) Stupid props.


McGann: So, how do I do this regeneration thing again?

Director: Just stand there and throw your arms open and your head back.

McGann: Right. (Does so) I feel so stupid. (Laughs)


Eccleston: (Referring to the post-regeneration outfit of McGann's) Are these clothes supposed to be this tight? I think it's riding up.


(Brett/Nolan found curled up in a corner of the office with "Sisko's" baseball, sound asleep)


(Eccleston slams into Sickbay bathroom door) Ouch! (Bleep!) I'm all right! Let's try that again. (Murmur off stage) I was supposed to do that?! Ya coulda warned me!


(Visitor walks onto TARDIS set, covered in foodstuffs) Just to let you know, the TV show next door is having a food fight. (Picks spaghetti out of hair)


(Siddig is sleeping in the "Sickbay" in a chair; snores; turns to the side and falls off the chair) I'm awake! Where were we?


(During scene break, while navigating out of "station tunnels")

Eccleston: Are we there yet?

Meaney: No.

(10 seconds pass)

Eccleston: Are we there yet?

Meaney: You're doing that just to annoy me, aren't you?

Eccleston: …

Meaney: Thought so.


Eccleston: (opens mouth) Do these fangs look sharp enough to you? (Rubs one with tongue) Ouch. Bleagh. Yeah. Sharp enough.


(Tena opens mouth wide, showing off fangs) Aah! (Laughs)


(Tena and Rickman circle each other, then rush at each other and start dancing a waltz; break off quickly)

Tena: (Laughs) Sorry, couldn't help that. Okay, let's go again.


Extra Scene

(Jack is busy typing away at his computer; Ianto comes in with tea)

Ianto: (hands Jack a cup) What are you doing?

Jack: Oh, nothing, just making a virus that will wipe out any non-authorized computer trying to access files on the Doctor.

Ianto: Oh? Really?

Jack: Yeah. (Grins evilly) I'd hate to be the sucker who uncovers this little fella.

(Scene Change; back to Quark's)

Dax: I'm sorry, Quark, it's…well…fried to put it in Earth terms. You'll have to get another computer.

Quark: But…all my pre-programmed recipes…

Dax: Do you keep a backup?

Quark: (Sigh) Yeah. Are you sure there's no chance of repair?

Dax: Yes, Quark. (Packs up tools; pauses) By the way, what were you doing anyway that made it overload?

Quark: …

Dax: Never mind. I don't even want to know.


McGann: (Slams scene marker) And…cut! That's a wrap folks!

(Lights go out)

McGann: Hello? Uh, guys, I'm still here. (Wanders off with back to camera) Hello?! (Screech; McGann disappears)


THE END…?