Cat Got Your Tongue

Summary: Max and Alec are sent on a mission to save another transgenic, only to find they're the ones in need of saving.

Disclaimer: Not mine. Sadly.

This, my friends, is a giant puff piece. Giant. The last story got a little too angsty and when Alec's not happy, I'm not happy. Hence… the puff piece.

Chapter One


"Max," Alec sighed, "you sure know how to show a guy a good time."

"Shut up," Max snapped, focusing on the computer screen. The annoying thing was that she was feeling just as impatient. The files Logan needed were still downloading and it was taking forever.

"I mean, I could have been spending a perfectly wonderful evening at Crash, but no, here I am cowering in some boring, rich guy's office just because Logan thinks he's up to no good."

"Logan wants proof to turn over to the police and we're helping him."

"You're helping him," Alec replied, sounding huffy. "I was dragged here kicking and screaming."

"Consider it your good deed for the year." Max spared the time to turn and glare at him. "I know that's a new concept for you." Her glare didn't do any good, however. Alec wasn't looking at her. He was kneeling on the floor staring out the window.

"You'd better hurry it up," Alec said mildly. "That sector cop must have seen something when we were getting in. He's been standing there watching for five minutes now."

Max stayed low and moved to his side to look out the window with him. "You sure he's watching us?"

At that moment, a police cruiser pulled up and the cop who'd been watching them walked toward it to speak with his co-worker. "That answer your question?" Alec offered dismally.

"Great." Max turned back toward the computer. It still needed a couple of minutes.

They both looked up at the sound of voices in the hall. No one was supposed to be on this floor. The owner was throwing a party and everyone was supposed to be downstairs. It was why they'd come in from the top floor and worked their way down to the office.

The voices were getting closer to the door. She silently willed them to keep moving, but no such luck. They stopped outside the office and she heard the doorknob turning.

Max barely had time to register Alec moving past her into the small space beneath the desk and pulling her with him. Alec sat cross-legged and hurriedly settled her into his lap, her back against his chest. Max grabbed one of the rollers on the office chair and pulled it as far into the kneehole as it would go and still leave them room to breathe.

They both heard it as the door opened and whoever it was tumbled into the room. Max heard giggling and rolled her eyes. Alec made a sound of annoyance as he too realized what was going on.

Giggling, heavy breathing, sloppy kissing. Ugh. People just couldn't control themselves. She'd managed to keep her paws off Logan for over a year, with a few exceptions. It wasn't that difficult. It certainly didn't require sneaking out of a party to make out in some jerk's office.

The desk was jolted slightly, followed by more heavy breathing and other sounds Max really wished she wasn't hearing. Alec's arm tightened around her and Max was instantly reminded that she was sitting in his lap. They were both facing outward. Alec had one arm wrapped around her waist, his hand flat against her stomach. His other hand was resting against her hip. She felt him lean forward, his breath tickling her ear. "You owe me so big for this one," he hissed. "Huge."

"Shut up," she managed to get out through clenched teeth. Not only was the position beyond awkward, but so was her situation. Alec might be her make-believe boyfriend for Logan's sake and she'd gotten used to him keeping up the act, but that didn't mean she was used to Alec being this close. She could feel him breathing shallowly behind her, his chest pressed to her back, feel the muscles in his legs and arms. She could feel the tension in him, but also couldn't fail to notice that she might as well not have even been there.

Some men might have behaved differently with a woman in their lap. Apparently not Alec. Alec was all business and his attention was focused on the couple who were currently blocking their exit. Of course, that didn't mean he was completely still. Alec just wasn't capable of not fidgeting. He was absentmindedly rubbing his fingers in a circle against her skin just above the waistband of her jeans.

"Stop that," Max whispered, smacking his hand. Alec obeyed without comment and Max wasn't sure it was better when he simply laid his warm hand flat against her side.

"Did you hear that?"

Max and Alec froze.

"Eddie, stop." They heard a quiet scuffling as the woman clearly forced Eddie away. "I heard something."

"It's nothing, sweetie," the man almost groaned. "Nobody even noticed us leaving. We hardly know any of those people anyway."

Sweetie's legs came into view as she walked around the desk. "What's that?"

"What?" Eddie asked, grumpily giving up on what he'd expected to be a nice interlude to the party.

"That," she said, and Max guessed she must be pointing.

"It's downloading something to a flash drive," the man said, suddenly sounding a lot less grumpy and a lot more interested. "Why would it be doing that? Mr. Hibbert has been downstairs all evening."

She felt Alec's muscles tense around her at the exact same time she decided to move. Alec pulled his arm from around her and helped to propel her forward.

Max had the chair out of the way and quickly took down Sweetie who barely had the time to gasp before she was unconscious. Alec followed Max out from under the desk and did the same for Eddie.

"I'm sorry, Max."

"What for?" she said, pushing a bit of hair out of her face.

Alec grinned widely. "I was wrong about not having any fun tonight." Max smacked his arm, but he just continued grinning as he moved back toward the window.

Max saw the computer had finished downloading and pocketed the small flash drive that Logan had given her. She turned back toward Alec to see him frowning. "What?"

"See for yourself."

Max peeked out the window to see that the cops had apparently decided to have a party of their own outside the house. "Crap."

Alec nodded. "Looks like we'll be playing dress up."

"What are you talking about?"

Alec pointed toward the unconscious couple. Eddie was in a tuxedo and Sweetie was in a floor-length ice blue satin gown. "The cops will be all the way around this building but they won't come in because Mr. Big Wig will be ticked and make sure they don't get their raise this year. We're going to have to do this in plain sight. We'll dress up and walk out like party guests."

"There's got to be some other way," Max said, her tone perilously close to a whine.

"Sure. We can go out there and beat up a few cops, draw a whole lot of attention to ourselves and do some more permanent damage to the transgenic cause." Alec shrugged. "I don't personally have a problem with that, but I thought you might." He raised one eyebrow. "Or we can do it the easy way and just walk out."

Max just looked at him and Alec's face remained carefully impassive while she decided. "Fine," she said through clenched teeth.

"Fine," he echoed. Alec knelt beside the woman and flipped her over. With alarming speed, he removed her dress and threw it to Max. She tried very hard not to think about how familiar Alec was with undressing a woman and how irrationally annoyed it made her. Oblivious to her thoughts which were absolutely not, in any way, shape or form, to be misconstrued as jealousy, Alec moved on to the man and quickly started removing his tux.

"Quit worrying about what I might see and just put it on, Max," Alec said, enough amusement in his tone that Max wanted to strangle him. He was enjoying their predicament just a little too much. When he stood up, however, he kept his back to her without having to be asked.

Max turned around as well and for several seconds just stared at the dress in her hands. How did she get herself into these situations? Max liked riding around on her motorcycle, general larceny, and hitting things. That's what she was good at.

"Max, stop thinking and put the dress on," Alec ordered with decidedly less amusement. "We don't have much time here."

Max fought the urge to snap back, mostly because she didn't know what to say. He was right. She was just putting off the inevitable. Max toed off her shoes and then pulled off her clothes, making a small pile on the floor. She then slipped the gown on over her head. The stupid thing was strapless, of course, which meant she couldn't wear her bra, nor would anything the woman was wearing work. They just weren't built similarly. The dress zipped up the side at least, so she didn't have to ask Alec to help with that. Not even fate was that cruel.

"You decent?"

"Sorta," Max said, turning around. And then her jaw nearly dropped open. Alec was stunning. He'd always been handsome. Manticore had made sure they were all good looking and Alec was better looking than most, but… The tuxedo might have been made for him it fit so well and for just a moment Max was viscerally reminded of why women had a tendency to turn into drooling idiots around him. He even had the bow tie already in place. Where had he learned how to tie a bow tie? Assassination Formalwear 101?

It took Max another second to realize that Alec was wearing a similarly astonished expression, although it quickly melted away into a smirk. "So there is a girl hiding underneath that angry Amazon warrior exterior."

Max felt herself bristling. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're beautiful." He shrugged as if it were the most normal thing to say. "Not that you're not hot when you're wearing your ass-kicking boots." He raised his hands to ward her off. "Don't hit me for saying you're good looking."

She frowned. It was a compliment. Sort of. The real compliment, however, was in his eyes and Max felt herself beginning to warm slightly at the intensity of his gaze. Which was wrong on so many levels. "Whatever," she snapped. "Can we get this over with?"

Alec knelt beside the woman again and pulled off her shoes, which Max gratefully noted were not too high. Alec motioned her closer and positioned one of the shoes for her to step into. Max picked up her long skirt and did as he asked, startled as she felt his strong, confident fingers on her ankle helping her into the shoe.

"Next," he said and quickly repeated the process with the other foot, his fingers finally sliding away from her ankle as she dropped the skirt and stepped back.

At which point Max realized they had a bigger problem. Or at least she had a problem. The other woman had been about the same height as she was, but she'd definitely been a size or two larger. While that might not have been a complete disaster in some dresses, in a strapless dress with no real underpinning, it was definitely a problem. Max tugged at the sagging bodice of the dress to bring it back up where it was supposed to be.

Alec chuckled and Max took a second to glare at him. "This is not funny."

"Oh, it's pretty funny. Logan doesn't know what he's missing not going on his little missions with you."

"Shut up. Logan can't-"

"Save it," Alec said, frowning. "If the guy can snap logs in half with his robo-legs, I think he can do his own breaking and entering."

"He's not trained like we are," Max answered, surprised at Alec's annoyance.

"Max, if I were your boyfriend, I wouldn't let you out of my sight to go on these stupid missions of his."

And there it was again, that feeling of warmth spreading all over her. Because Alec was always with her on these missions and he never let her out of his sight.

"That doesn't change the fact that this dress is too big and I'm going to flash…," she gestured vaguely with her hands, "myself, at everyone downstairs."

Alec's smirk returned in full force. "Well, if you flash yourself, I'm pretty sure they'll all be so stunned we can just walk out the front door, so it's a win-win."

Max growled in frustration. "You're not helping."

"Just hold your dress up until we get downstairs," he said nonchalantly, "and then I'll take care of it."

"What are you going to do?"

"Trust me." He smiled, and Max wondered if she wasn't the only one with shark DNA.


A man in a tux is just one of the most beautiful things on this planet. More soon.