Super Mario Birthday

By Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus

Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: Well, today is Mario's birthday! (throws confetti) I know he doesn't have a specific date since his first game (Donkey Kong, Arcade, July 1981) was released on a generic July Day, but still, I'm treating today as his birthday because Mario is number one, and July happens to be Mario Month in Nintendo. So pull out your red-colored M caps and crack a can of soda or two, because Mario is going to get the perfect birthday present from his sweet love... read and enjoy, ladies and gentlemen!

Disclaimer: Mario, Princess Peach, and all other characters, places, objects, and references belong to Nintendo. Oh, and by the way, we did not come up with the concept of increasing the word count.

Yoshizilla: What? (approaches Disclaimer) What do you mean by that, Disclaimer? Little old me, using this time to increase the word count?

Disclaimer: Yes, Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus. To increase the word count.

Yoshizilla: To increase the word count?

Disclaimer: Increase the word count.

Yoshizilla: Increase the word count?

Disclaimer: Increase the word count.

Yoshizilla: Increase the word count?

Disclaimer: Increase the word count.

Yoshizilla: Increase the word count?

Disclaimer: Increase the word count.

Yoshizilla: Increase the word count?

Disclaimer: ...All right, I think the people reading this pile of junk get the point-

Yoshizilla: Increase the word count?

Disclaimer: (sighs and shakes head) Why do I even bother with this pathetic moron...


Early morning on the first beautiful day of July, the hottest month of the year. The Mushroom Kingdom was brimming with energy as its dear mushroom citizens were enjoying the sun's heat, crowding the pools that stored cool water. But today was not an ordinary day for the Mushroom Kingdom. Every year since the grand defeat of King Bowser Koopa (Senior) at the Koopa Kingdom, on the first of July, the Mushroom Kingdom celebrates the birthday of the ever conquering hero who has done his best to protect it from harm. And who else but the most famous person alive...

...Mario Mario. Who, by the way, was relaxing on his private little hammock outside of his house, snoozing peacefully with ease.


Princess Peach Toadstool, the ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom, and the love of Mario's life, was busy trying to find the most suitable gift for her soon-to-be husband. She tried looking in the mens' department of the Toad Town Department Store, getting a pair of gulf clubs for Mario as she then headed into the cafeteria to grab a prepared vanilla cake for Mario. Heading downstairs, the princess gasped as she bumped into Bowser, who was also searching for a gift to present to his long-time nemesis.

"Well, well, well, Princess Peach. How are you?" Bowser greeted as he grinned, shaking Peach's hand.

Peach was nervous, surprised to see the Koopa King at the same place at the same time. "Oh, um, Bowser, h-how's it going..." She was practically at a loss for words as she gulped, asking, "Are you here to give Mario a birthday present, too?"

Bowser stared at Peach for three minutes, and he then bursted into laughter, patting Peach on the back. "Oh, Peach! You know that I would give Mario a present every birthday that comes and goes! I may be a villian, but I sure have a good friendship bond with Mario, as well. After all..." He chuckled, tickling Peach on the chin, making the princess giggle with glee as she squirmed, catching the attention of the other shopping humanoid mushrooms, "You and I have been in so many sports and parties together."

Peach giggled, pushing away Bowser's hand as she then stated with a confident smile, "Well, Bowser, I'll be happy to see you at the party, then!" As she headed towards the counter, she glanced back to Bowser and shouted, "Oh, and we're having the party at Mario's House!"

Bowser nodded and waved goodbye to Peach as he searcxhed for more suitable gifts that Mario would appreciate, planning to buy something that would be better than the blonde princess's present...


A few hours later into the sunny afternoon, Mario finally woke up from his peaceful, well deserved rest on his hammock, getting onto his two feet and stretching his arms. He smacked his lips together and headed into his wooden home, calling out to his younger brother, "Luigi, I'm back! Where are you?" However, he scratched his head in confusion, for he did not get a reply. The red-capped, middle aged plumber then shrugged and started searching through the house.

Several moments later, having searched through the entire green-roofed house, Mario sighed as he shook his head, his hands firmly on his hips. "Well, Luigi is not here, so I might as well head out and look for him." He exitted his house and headed for the nearby green-colored warp pipe that led to the capital of the Mushroom Kingdom, the bustling metropolis of Toad Town. "I surely do not know why Luigi would go out his way to not be home when I waved goodbye to him from the deck of the house last night..." He then jumped into the warp pipe and thought as he tumbled down, thinking to himself, Perhaps Luigi is planning a surprise... but what kind?

Exitting the warp pipe on the other side, Mario dusted himself and rubbed his chin, still pondering as he was then ambushed by a rogue, green-colored Koopa Shell. Mario got back up, only to be knocked down to the ground, face first, by several more green Koopa shells. It was revealed that there were actually twelve Koopa shells, the turtles within them popping out on their two hind legs as they surrounded Mario from all sides. Mario gulped, as he was surprised to be attacked by Koopas during a peaceful day such as today.

"Mamma mia, first Luigi goes missing, and now these Koopas want some trouble?" Mario stated as he tipped his cap downwards, muttering under his breath, "All right, I'll give them a fight, but they won't like it." He then started spinning around like a tornado and started to send the Koopas into the air, causing all twelve of them to retreat into their sehhls. mario grabbed one of the shells and chucked it at two other shells, knocking the three shells out, while one shell swmacked Mario in the back as another smacked Mario from the front. Mario growled, and he then pulled out his wooden hammer, using it to smack the shells around as they attempted to collide into him again. As Mario continued whirling around in the air, smacking the Koopa shells with his hammer, he then became the target of all the remaining five shells, which started to rotate. Mario managed to fall to the ground, getting out of his tornado whirl as the shells collided into each other and fell flat to the ground, the Koopas themselves coming out dazed. Mario smirked, and he started heading towards the western direction, into the wilderness to try and find Luigi.

"Luigi...Luigi!" Mario called out as he entered the thick deciduous forest that was nearby Town Town. "Hmmm?" He stated as he spotted a lone letter on the stump of a dead tree. Picking it up, he read it thouroughly. "Hmmm... Dear Mario, I've been taken hostage by the Koopa Pack. Please come back to the house as soon as you can..."

Before he could read anymore, Mario was ambushed by a pack of spear-wielding Shy Guys, which they then wrapped him up in ropes and started marching out of the deciduous forest, heading towards the eastern direction. Mario tried to struggle out, but with no avail, for he was confused on why the Shy Guys captured him. He was then pushed down the warp pipe that led to his home, and landing on the green, smooth grass on the other side, Mario continued struggling to get out, until a glove holding a pair of scissors used the scissors to cut the ropes off. Mario looked up to see the wielder of the scissors, his good, younger, green-capped brother - Luigi!

"Luigi! You're-a all right!" Mario stated as he gave Luigi a tight hug, gripping him greatly.

Luigi laughed, hugging Mario back as he stated, "Oh, big brother, it's-a so good to see-a you again!" He then turned around and revealed all of Mario's friends and old foes, with tons of presents behind them. "We're here to celebrate your fiftieth birthday!"

"Happy Birthday, Mario!" Everyone shouted, waving their hands in the air as they tossed confetti.

"We got you lots of gifts, Mario!" Toad said with glee.

"Yeah! And we also made lotsa SPAGHETTI!!" Donkey Kong shouted, rubbing the back of his head as he sheepishly grinned.

Wario then approached Mario, slapping him in the back as he then gave his nicer cousin an enclosed instruction booklet. "Since you like reading a lot, I got you this for your birthday. I hope you enjoy it, old man!" He laughed as he headed back, only to trip and fall flat on his face, causing everyone to erupt in laughter.

Yoshi waddled up to Mario, smiling as he had his hands behind his back. "Well, Mario, since you like toast so much, I got you a toaster!" He then pulled out a shining, grayish colored, brand new toaster out of his small,red pad, handing it over to Mario.

Mario was literally in tears of joy as he took the toaster from Yoshi, looking at him in the face with joy, saying, "Oh, thank you, Yoshi. You truly are a best friend!"

Yoshi laughed, rubbing his hands together. "Oh Mario, I just knew that a brand new toaster would be fit for you! After all..." He winked. "You know what they say..."

Mario grinned widely, and he replied, "All toasters toast toast!"

Mario and Yoshi then both laughed heartily as everyone joined in. Luigi wiped a tear from his eyes, stating with pride, "My older brother... he's-a finally getting the things he has deserved for the last thirty years..."

After receiving a red-colored Nintendo DS handheld system from Toadette, Mario walked up to Luigi, hugging him back. "Oh, Luigi, I'm so glad-a that you-a planned this whole thing."

Luigi smiled, patting Mario on the shoulder. "Big brother, you finally passed the fitfy mark. Just fifty more years, and you'll be one hundred!" Luigi then laughed heartily for several seconds, and calming down, he stated, tapping Mario on the shoulder, "But I think you should see Bowser and Princess Peach. They seem really eager to give you your birthday gifts."

Mario tilted his head to the right. "But Luigi, where are Bowser and Peach, anyway?"

"Silly, they're right behind you," Luigi stated as he then pointed at Bowser and Peach, who both approached the two plumbing brothers. Mario turned around to face the human princess and the turtle/dragon/dinosaur king, both of them with their own presents.

Bowser stepped up to Mario first, handing him a big present box. "Mario, I know that you and I have fought each other for a long time since we were babies, so here's something to make up for your fiftieth birthday."

Mario opened up the box, and his jaw dropped in disbelief as he got out a large golden trophy, with figures of himself and Bowser on it, that read 'Greatest Arch Nemesises of Time'. Mario then handed the trophy to Luigi to give Bowser a big hug.

"Oh-a, could this-a birthday get-a any better?" Mario asked himself as he turned to Peach, blushing slightly as he chuckled. "Oh ho... princess-a, I'm definitely sure that you have the most wonderful present of all."

Peach smiled as he hugged Mario. "Oh, yes I do, Mario, and I'm sure you'll love this present..." She gave him a kiss... on the lips, making everyone clap for excitement as Mario savored the moment.

Pulling away, Mario completely felt relieved and happy. "Oh, mamma mia...Peach-a...I don't-a think you could give me a better birthday gift..."

Peach then started giggling. "Oh, Mario! I can give you one more birthday gift!" She then turned around to face everyone, proclaiming with joy, "Mario is going to be a father, everyone!"

Everyone gasped in shock, and they then clapped enthusiastically, with Bowser and Luigi smiling proudly as they clapped the most. Peach then turned around to hug Mario again, who was overjoyed at this point.

"This-a is the best birthday I've ever had," Mario stated to himself as he smiled widely while hugging Peach, looking up at the sunny, clear blue sky with dignity, "And this is certainly the best day of my-a wonderful life-a!"

THE END


Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: Hello, ladies and gentlemen, it's me again. I hope that you all really enjoyed the story! Yeah, I made Mario turn fifty in this story because he's in so much good shape, despite being middle aged. I mean, come on, he's gone through time and space, he held a lot of parties, he competed in lots of sports, he races a lot, he even gets the stuffings beaten out of him! You have to give Mr. Nintendo credit. Anyway, that is all I have to report to you guys, and I hope that you enjoyed this lovely little fanfic! And before you ponder about Mario's birthday, yes, July is the month when the arcade game Donkey Kong debuted in the fond year of 1981, so our favorite little red-capped plumber has certainly came a very long way from then. Especially since he was originally a new character in place of Popeye. (chuckles) Anyway, now that I got that little tibbit of information out of the way, enjoy the rest of your evening, ladies and gentlemen! Good night!