A/N hey sorry for the looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong wait on the update. Ironically long is long. hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed writing, uh err, typing it.

Disclaimer: as much as we loved to, we do not own twilight or emmett or rosalie or jasper or alice or carlisle or esme... but we do own April and Desi and Jace! and other random characters you might read about. OH! and we dont own Edward or Bella, thank god!

Chapter 2: 2 positives = 2 negatives

"Those people" were gathered at Bella, Emmett and Jace's house. They of course were being their normal selves.

"Phillip is just a hunk of wood with a chain connecting him, he's worthless honestly." Edward said eyeing Phillip slowly.

"Phillip doesn't think that is funny Edward. He says he wants to beat you up." Desi smacks Edward with Phillip.

"Ow! What was…?" Edward was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"I'll get it!" April and Desi shout at the same time and rush to the door. Before they make it to the door , they start fighting. They both roll around on the floor grabbing each others' legs and arms wrestling. While this was going on Emmett gets up and answers it.

"Well hello there Mr. Frito guy!" Emmett says.

"Uh you mean cheeto?" Chester says.

"No. Frito."

"No it's cheeto!"


"Cheeto! C-H-E-E-T-O!!"

"That's what I said F-R-I-T-O!"

"No its cheeto! You know the cheesy things…"

"Ohhhhhhh DORITOS!!"

"No the puffy-ish things…"





"Well who else is standing at the door?"


"Whom is this "you" you speak of?"





Then Emmett slams the door shut on Chester's face. (A/N: Chester Cheeto guy is April and Desi's dad)

April and Desi stop their fighting and look at Emmett expectantly. "Who was that?" they asked simultaneously.

"Here's how you know they're twins…" Jasper said shaking his head.

"Ugh it was some psychopathic guy claiming he was the "Frito guy" when he was obviously the "bugle" guy."Emmett replied.

"Pshh everyone knows the Frito-guy is cooler!" Alice shouted from the living room, "ooooo you guys totally have to see these shoes!!"

"NOOO!" April and Desi Jump up from the floor and run upstairs to Bella's room.

"Well that was quite strange…" said Edward.

"Actually its quite normal behavior for them. By the way, what do you guys think of these shoes? Fabulous aren't they?" Says Alice walking into the game room.

Up In Bella's Room…..

"Whew now that was a close one!" Desi pants wiping the sweat from her forehead.

"Omg I know.. But Desi, can you tell me one thing?" April replied.

"Um sure?"

"Who's the funky looking chick standing totally conspicuously in the corner?"

"Um well that would be Nora?"

"Who's Nora?"

"Um idk…"

"I'm not Nora." Said the mysterious woman.

"You're not?" said Desi.

"Not really. Unless Shirley means Nora then no."

"So you're Shirley you're Nora?"

"No I'm Shirley."

"So that's a yes?"

"Huh? Never mind forget that. My name is Shirley and I'm here seeking the infamous Desiree and April. Do you know where I can find them?"

"Yeah April is the young man downstairs with the Reddish-Bronze hair, and Desi, or "Desiree" as you called it, is the big burly dude with him."

"Wow. Well I would've thought those were feminine names, but I guess. You can never really tell genders by names these days."

"Welcome to the uhhh… the uhh... April help me out here." Desi says.

"The 25th century!"

"Thanks April. I mean uhh a prisoner I don't know!!!"

"So you are the infamous April." Shirley-Nora says.

"Does it look like I have reddish-bronze hair to you?!" April says pointing to her hair. "Everyone knows it's brown!"

"Uh, well, um…"

"EXACTLY!" Desi shouts confused herself but going along with it. Shirley-Nora starts mumbling words and swinging a stop watch. April and Desi's eyes follow the stop watch and soon they are under the spell.


"I wonder what they are doing. They've been up there for 3 hours. Normally when I decide to show a pair of shoes, they only hide up there for 15 minutes. Something must be up." Alice says pacing.

Suddenly you hear a bang.

"JACE!!!" April shouts. Jace's eyes go wide and he runs to hide behind the couch.

"Y-yes dear?" He answers shakily.

"Where have you been?! You were supposed to give me a foot rub and watch our beautiful Desiree. All I hear from that child is "mommy where's daddy?" Your child is missing you and you're down here starring at me like a freak?! What a wonderful father you are!" April rants.

"Uh, well, you see…" Jace starts.

"I don't want to see anything but you rubbing away these bunya's!" April says pointing to her feet. "I can't believe I let you persuade me into having another one!" April shouts exasperated.

"What's a bunya?" Emmett asked but was ignored.

"Have another what?" Jace asks confused.

April gasps and tears start to form in her eyes. "I can't believe you forgot about our child!" She says putting her hand to her flat stomach. "I'm almost five months and you still don't see!"

"Oooo… daddy made mommy cry! Um ma ma ma maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam!" Desi says like a little kid.

"I don't ever want to see you again! Faggot!" April cries then sits on the floor, hiding her face so she couldn't see Jace.

Desi sits down and pats her mommy's back. "Mommy why is daddy being a faggot? Does this mean he likes Edward now? You know they would make a good couple both being gay and all…"

"What?!?!? I'm not gay!!!!! Who would say such a thing? Besides I'm married to Bella." Edward shouts

Bella backs away from his embrace slowly "Why didn't you tell me??"

"Desi, if you stare long into the abyss, the abyss stares back into you." April says.

"Why does that sound so familiar?? Oh yeah I got it! April have you been playing Jaspers World of War Craft game??"

"I don't have a World of Warcraft game!" Jasper said looking down at his feet.

"Yeah huh, don't you remember how you taught me how to destroy the boogey monsters people things"

"Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" Emmett sang to Rose.

"Umm, yeah because I'd totally take her over my stupid husband any day." Rose replied

"Heyyyyyy! That wasn't nice…although if there waaaaas a girl that looked like me I'd drop you like Barbie dropped Ken."

"Barbie dropped Ken? If so how high was the balcony? 10 stories, no no no no. 50 stories!!" Desi shouts letting her imagination run wild.

"Is that why I found a Ken head in my bath this morning?" April asked.

Desi turns to Emmett outraged! "EMMETT!! You took the head off my Ken doll?!" She roared.

"Uh, it's not what it sounds like! I swear I didn't know they came off that easily." Emmett said backing away slowly.

"April?" Jace asked only to have her turn and glare at him.

"Don't speak to me unless you're giving me my foot rub." She said bitterly. Jace crawls over and takes April foot to give her a foot rub.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled. April smiled at him and just enjoyed the foot rub.