I'm here. This story isn't being abandoned. I'm soooooooooooooo sorry for not updating sooner. I wanted to update before leaving but that didn't happen so today I got smart and made my annoying little voice not let me watch Slayers Revolution until I finished this chapter.

Um...enjoy.


Chapter 3: Pauline's Perils

The Kongo Jungle. All was peaceful. There was no panic. Just some regular old Monkey Business...until a certain gummi ship crash landed.

Samus and a coughing Zelda stepped out angrily. "That's the last time I EVER let you near the wheel." Peach crawled out of the ruined ship.

"It's not my fault I never drove before," she whimpered.

Zelda twitched. After seeing Samus's annoyed face she thought, 'This wont end well.'

And as usual she was right. "WHY WOULD YOU ASK TO DRIVE AND THEN SAY YOU'VE DONE THIS BEFORE IF YOU NEVER DROVE ANYTHING BEFORE IN YOUR LIFE!" Samus demanded.

Peach started wiping the dirt of her dress. "Well, Toadsworth always says the best way to learn is through experience," she explained.

"You mean the same Toadswoth who fell into a coma when you left the room without telling him?" Zelda questioned. Samus started laughing.

"I've no doubt he'll fall into another coma if we tell him about this Princess's adventures for the past few years," Samus teased. Peach turned away annoyed.

"Oh don't worry Peach when we go to Mushroom Kingdom I'll leave out some things," Samus added. Then they all remebered something.

"Oh yeah that's why we're here," Peach muttered, "We need to find some lead to Tabuu and to where the boys are."

"Now why would you wanna do a thing like that?" a voice suddenly said from the trees. The three girls looked around.

"Must be an enemy," Zelda said getting her...er Link's bow and arrows ready. She aimed it at a tree. Peach looked impressed.

"Wow Zelly you can tell which tree the voice was from?" she asked. Zelda shook her head slightly revealing her long pointy Hylian ears. "Oh," Peach said and pulled out a white raddish (I thought it looks like a raddish kay?) Samus prepared her portable cannon. The voice sounded again.

"Hey wait don't point those scary things at me!" it cried out frantically, "I come in peace. I'm...WOAH!" A shadowy figure suddenly fell out of the tree and onto the ground. It was a small monkey with a purple hat and a huge blonde ponytail. "Ouch," she cried. Zelda and Samus let down their weapons.

"Oh Hi Dixie," Peach said happily. The monkey looked up at her.

"Hi Peach good to see you again," The monkey named Dixie replied. Peach came over to her. "Sorry if sounded a bit evil," Dixie said, "But I'm sick and tired of those damn newspapers lying and writing how we're so helpless without those boys gone. It's kinda peaceful now. You know how there's always a war when a banana is lost." Peach laughed.

Zelda and Samus exchanged glances. Dixie didn't sound like she was worried about anything. "So what brings you three here?" the monkey asked. Peach explained what happened to all the guys.

"We were hoping to find some clues here," Zelda continued, "Dixie was there anything left behind after the guys disappeared?" But Dixie was already in another conversation with Peach.

"So those two apes were kidnapped again were they? Those two are the only Damsels in Distress I know of around here. Dk is either kidnapped or doing the kidnapping," Dixie stated.

"Your talking about that woman aren't you?" Peach said suddenly not so perky. Dixie nodded.

"If you mean that Pauline then yeah," Dixie agreed, "Our kidnappers are not evil. We did y'all a favor kidnapping her. And then Mario screwed it up."

"I know!" Peach said, "And that woman is--"

"Seriously," Dixie continued as if she read Peach's mind, "Can you believe--"

"No! It's horrible," Peach interrupted the same way. Their conversation went on like that for some time leaving Zelda and Samus clueless.

"Hey Zel, who's Pauline anyway?" Samus asked watching Peach's conversation annoyed.

"Mario's ex-girlfriend," Zelda told her, "I don't really like her too much either." Samus groaned.

"Peach," she yelled, "Get up and lets go. We're not here to chtit-chat." But Peach was completely wrapped up in her conversation. A conversation that Samus and Zelda couldn't figure out due to the constant interrupting.

"Um maybe we should ask around ourselves," Zelda suggested, "We'll see if there was anything left after their disappearence." Samus nodded defeated.

"I just want to know how it's physically possible to kidnap a whole population," Samus said, "So far the only way I know off is to exterminate them...but they still come back to haunt you." Zelda blinked in confusion. But she figured Samus was very mad because she hit a tree and not only did the bark around there break off, the tree was dented.

"Samus have you ever played any DK games?" Zelda asked, "I'm afraid I cant remember anyone from this world who could help us." Samus shook her head.

"I don't really pay attention to anything but the fights," she explained, "You know the games never chronicle anything correctly." Zelda nodded. The Nintendo games kept at the mansion didn't exactly do the best job at retelling the actual adventures. Usually because of the many sidequests and editing of some minor details. Namely the ones in Four Swords which showed how Zelda and the maidens were simply kidnapped. In reality the had put up quite a fight but Link's intervention (causing him to get knocked out) distracted them causing the kidnapping. But noooooo, Nintendo couldn't do that to their great hero so they chose to make Zelda a simple kidnapped princess. And that was just one "minor" detail. And that just one in that particular Zelda game.

"Us saving the boys is going to be a pretty important event," Samus muttered, "If they don't chronicle it properly they're toast." She walked further into the jungle. "Come one Zelda leave the chatter box with the monkey." Zelda sighed.

"Peach we're leaving," she yelled before following Samus. There was no reaction from the pink princess but the moment her partners were out of sight, she grew quiet.

"Are they gone?" Peach asked. Dixie climbed up a tree for a bird's eye view and nodded.

"They're headed to the village," Dixie figured, "About time. There's something I must tell you. I can't tell the others about this, I'm sorry." Peach shook her head.

"It's fine," she cheered, "but what's wrong?" Dixie looked around.

"The trees have ears," she growled softly, "I can't tell you here. Follow me to my hideout." Peach sighed and ran after the monkey.


Sigh. Pretty pointless chapter I know. But i have some plans for next chapter which gets interesting, I promise.

Next update: Sooner than this one.