Note: The characters (mostly Lilly) are kind of OC (don't worry it's really not that bad). I actually wanted to make it a Sam/Freddie (iCarly) but I am more familiar with Hannah Montana, and I think it'll all end up working out better this way anyways. Now, I don't want to give away the whole story so I'll shut up Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I will only say this once. I do not own Hannah Montana, its characters, or any songs I may refer to (because I tend to do that, so I'll clear that off now.) I do own any characters you've never heard of that make an appearance, them and my imagination. Alrighty? Read it once, read it twice, I don't care, but I'm not writing it again. :D
Oliver and I can't stand each other. We spend our days insulting each other. I've known him since I was two-months-old (his mother and mine were close), and I've never been able to stand the kid (he threw his pacifier at me when we met. Yes, I remember. Even if I didn't, it's on tape.) Oh, have I mentioned that we're inseparable best friends? Miley, our other best friend whom we've known for a couple of years, says we have a problem. I think she's the one with the problem, being both Miley Stewart and Hannah Montana. Can I hear a Multiple Personality Disorder? I kid, I kid. I love them both, although I use the term love on Oliver extremely loosely. Like how I 'loved' my pet fish, Oscar (get it? Oscar's Oliver's middle name), that I recently flushed down the toilet. I wouldn't mind flushing Oliver down the toilet now that I think about it. Although I don't think he'd fit. Maybe he'd fit in a giant's toilet, but then rests the question of the existence of giants.
What was I talking about again? Oh right, Oliver and I. So yeah, we're the best friends for life, who daily want to kill each other. It's really simple if you ask me. Until that stupid Rodney kid had to question our relationship—Oliver's and I, not mine and Rodney's, I barely know the kid (even though he's been my next door neighbor since I was seven, apparently). Anyways, I can remember that conversation like it was yesterday, even though it's been over two weeks and I have a horrible memory; it unwillingly replays in my mind like that song you hate but know all the words to.
But I make sure not to talk about it. At all.
Want me to recite the conversation to you! I remember what we were wearing and all our movements to go along with it too! I mean, uh, fine, if that's what you want. Sheesh, no need to beg. Ok, but you have to promise me one thing—don't get any ideas.
So Oliver and I were by our lockers before last period. Yes, my locker is beside Oliver's—the closer he is, the faster I can insult him. Miley came over in a navy short skirt and light blue halter shirt. I nodded to her, put my hands in my yellow-striped jacket, and told Oliver he should keep his head in his locker forever because it was the only place he couldn't scare children.
"Oh, the hilarious Lilly strikes again. Why don't you go join a circus since you're so funny," he said.
"I would but you've already taken all the spots," I said back.
He frowned, "You're horrible."
He had nothing to spit back, which was all the best because this jacket was new and I didn't need him spewing whatever bits of his lunch were left between his teeth at me. I grinned, "And you know it."
He rolled his eyes and straightened his white shirt after closing his locker, "By the way, hurry up tonight, I don't want to miss the previews. I heard they're showing the trailer of that new Adam Sandler movie."
I picked up the books I need for my homework. "Well, if you pick me up on time we won't be late now, will we?" I said tilting my head so I could look at him from under my bangs. Not that I wanted to see more of Oliver than I had to, it's just, what's the point of being mean to him if I can't see him twist his face in pain. Those are the rewards of what I do.
"You guys seeing a movie tonight?" Miley asked.
I nodded. That was a typical day between Oliver and I, insults and then movies or skate park. "We would have invited yout but--," I started telling Miley how we would have invited her along but we knew she had a concert tonight, when some guy in tan shorts and a black button-up came along and interrupted me.
"You two are going to the movies together?" He asked pushing his emo-rimmed glasses back.
Eavesdropper much? I was in no mood for a dorky conversation right now, if I was, I'd talk it up with Oliver. On top of that, I didn't even know who he was, what gave him the right to listen in on our conversation? "Who is this freshie?" I asked. Oliver and Miley shrugged.
"I'm Rodney Junior Kings, but you can call me RJ." I raised my eyebrows; I'd rather not call him anything and rather he'd go away. He noticed that his name did not clear anything up so he added, "I've been your next door neighbor for like nine years, Lillian!" He almost sounded offended; that's pretty funny. Boy was he on a roll with me. He'd eavesdropped on my conversation and called me by my full and hated name. And he was clearly a freshman. Still, I didn't have the expected reaction of telling him to move on with his life.
Both Oliver and I gasped; we had recognized him. "That's him!" I mouthed to Oliver; I curled my fingers and mutely growled.
"I know!" Oliver mouthed back.
We both looked at Rodney who had a confused expression on his face and burst out laughing. "Don't worry, I don't get it either," Miley said running her fingers through her curls tied in a side ponytail.
You see, when a family had moved next door to my house nine years ago, Oliver and I decided to spy on them. So every day after lunch, little Oliver and I would saunter over to my backyard, climb a ladder and watch their house with his binoculars. We had nicknamed them 'the vampires' (hence the mute growling) because we never saw them come out during the day. Hey, don't blame us, we were seven and had nothing better to do.
Anyways, back to 2008. After our laughing outburst, Rodney asked, "So for exactly how long have you guys been dating?"
I've never been this confused, even when Oliver shoved a piece of cake in my face because he was trying to kill a fly (I'd explain but I'm still confused about it); or when I realized it was Miley under that 'pie mask' and Hannah Montana clothes. I looked back and forth between Oliver and Miley skeptically. They shook their heads vigorously when they understood what I was thinking. So I did a 360 to see if there was someone else that had crept up behind me but there was no one else. Who the heck could he be talking about? I asked him exactly this.
"You and Oliver, duh."
I didn't know whether to yell or laugh, so I had a choking fit and dropped all my books. Oliver's mouth dropped to the ground. Miley hid her giggles behind her hand.
"So, you're not dating?" Rodney asked for the 500th time after Miley explained with great details that Oliver and I would never date. EVER. Not even if pigs could fly.
"NO! GO AWAY!" I yelled and kneeled down to pick up my books. As Rodney wobbled off, Oliver bent down to help me out. He handed me my notebook, and as I looked up to let him know that I now had to burn that notebook, he also looked up. I got a sudden urge to do something but luckily the bell rang for class, so I grabbed my notebook and speed walked to English. And that's basically that.
Uh oh, you're getting ideas so I better tell you what I had the urge to do. I wanted to slap him across the face. Yeah, that's right. He kept making funny faces at me with his eyes, like going cross-eyed and making some other funny eye movements because he knows that creeps me out. Freak of nature, I tell ya. Haha and you thought I wanted to kiss him. I told you not to get any ideas; this is no romance story.
So this pretty much sets the background for how this story goes. Like I said Lilly's a bit... different, but she's tolerable. Right? Review and let me know. Expect an update every other day : xoxCamy