Title: A Terrible Twist
Summary: What a terrible twist that tore at his heart when he realized what was going on. All he thought he knew was brought low by his voice.
Warning: There's incest mentions here, I saw this video by Nescaa15 on YouTube and it inspired me. Now normally this sorta thing's not my cuppa'tea but I just had to do it. Peter/Susan, Susan/Caspian. (The video's titled Peter/Susan/Caspian: Muscle Museum) There's also non-con.
AN: I'm having a hellish time with the next chapter of I Wish, I got an idea of where it's to go, but just making it come out is being a nightmare for me. I haven't given up on it, I mean hell it's only been a few days, and I've been working on the whole series everyday for the last week or so cranking out a chapter or more a day. This does not take place in the I Wish/Believe/Love series at all. Also another comment - I was a psych major in uni, and we covered alot of stuff about abuse. How Susan acts is very typical of incest-abuse (though I've toned it down quite a bit). It's also far more common than most people want to acknowledge. Though incest itself is actually rather common too - in France it's legal for half-siblings to marry and have children. So yeah... there's squikiness here. Be warned - Peter's a bit of a monster in this.
Peter watched, glared more like, at the tall young man across the fire from him. Prince Caspian. The name rolled off the tongue, laden with something Peter never would have. Susan and Caspian were talking quietly, discussing the history that had passed while she'd been gone from Narnia as though they were old friends.
She used to talk to me like that...
The glow in her cheeks sickened him, the way she smiled, the way her lips curved around words just so - lips that once smiled for him in ages past. But never, oh never with such warmth. Peter's hands clenched, his knuckles popping, yet no one seemed to notice. Thank the powers that be for small graces. Each movement of Susan's long nimble hands were graceful, entrancing, and Caspian didn't appear to be immune to her many charms. And Susan, sweet, beautiful, graceful Susan wasn't as resistant as she'd always been to others once upon a time.
She should have been named Susan the Graceful, and he began to hate, a bitter draft in his throat and belly.
How much would he give, what would he not do to have her hand rest on his knee the way she carelessly placed it on Caspian's. Like a butterfly flitting from flower to flower, the touches were fleeting, full of shy meaning. And he wanted to wrap his hands around the overlong neck of that Telmarine, wringing it until it snapped. But he tried to hold on, to remind himself that Susan would be all his once they left Narnia again. Dark calloused fingers darted forward to tuck a stray tendril of hair from Susan's cheek without thought, it was so unplanned Peter could tell by how much the two blushed at the action.
Unable to take anymore Peter got up, going off into the forest, needing to be away before he did something foolish.
He's so tall, not the most coherent of her observations as she talked with Caspian. His fingers are so rough, yet so gentle, and the thought warmed her body in a way it never had quite been before.
Licking her lips, "You certainly seem to know alot about the stars and their movements."
"Aye, I do. The Professor was very careful to teach me," he leaned back on his hands staring up at the star strewn sky.
The way his hair curled around his neck and his throat worked as he spoke was distracting. All she wanted to do was touch it, to see what the texture of his skin felt like there. It made Susan's hands itch just thinking about it. She must have been too silent for too long, because as her gaze refocused she saw Caspian looking at her, his eyes like glittering onyx in the fire would be almost pitch without the light. Pinned beneath those eyes Susan wanted to flee, she felt cornered, hunted.
Yet his voice was soothing, soft as a summer breeze, "Tell me your thoughts m'lady, for they look deep indeed. I would wish to share any of your troubles if I may."
Smiling and letting out an embarassed laugh, "Oh it's nothing at all." He rolled over to rest on one elbow, looking up at her, as though to reach out and touch her face. Shaking her head, "I'm just... sad... sad that so much has changed and been lost," coming up with a quick excuse.
"Aye it has, and it is a great tragedy assuredly," the words tripped off his accented tongue, and as arcahicly as he spoke, Caspian sounded as normal as could be to her ear. His tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip, drawing her eye as his mouth moved, "Tell me what it is that you miss most?"
Clasping her hands in her lap, Susan forced herself to look away, to the sky a place that was safe for her to stare as she spoke, so she wouldn't get lost in him, "It's not any one thing." And her traitorous eyes slid back to him, "My library, or seeing the fauns dance with satyrs and dryads, niads too. The nymphs and their singing. The apple orchard, with great golden fruit hanging from strong limbs and climbing them, not caring that I'd skin my knees."
He chuckled low, his eyes squeezing shut, and she noticed that he had the faintest of freckles there, "That is an image I would like to see."
Feigning indignation, "Oh? Seeing me fumble and fall out of a tree and hurt myself amuses you?'
"No," Caspian's laughter ceased, the bright sound lost. "No," reaching out to lay his hand atop hers in her lap, "such a thought would never bring humour to me." Susan recognized that look, she'd seen it somewhere before... "It was the idea of you so happy from something so small that brought a smile to my face."
Shuddering internally, trying not to remember, "Small things are all there are Caspian, for everything changes in time, and the great things overshadow any good that comes from the daily toil."
"I have been remiss then m'lady, for I was always of the mind that great acts were that which allowed the good." His thumb was rubbing the top of her hand, and it burned tracks over her skin, "Perhaps though we are both right?"
"Susan?" Lucy interrupted the tension of the moment, "I can't find Peter."
Sighing Susan got up, "I'll go look for him Luce, he's probably just brooding."
Caspian had scrambled up to stand at her first motion, "I shall come with you, these forests are not always safe."
"No," shaking her head, "it's best if I go. Besides," giving him a coy look, "I can defend myself well enough thank you. I've been doing it for longer than you've been alive."
Why do I feel this way...? Why does he make my skin so warm? Why do I want him to stop me from going without him, to touch me? Why?
Caspian followed on near silent feet, padding through the undergrowth following behind Susan. She smells like moonlight and roses, her hands are so soft...
He wouldn't allow any harm to befall her. Caspian didn't know why he had such a strong reaction, she was just a woman. And Reepicheep was just a mouse. Licking his lips, he paused as voices echoed. Moving closer he saw Peter leaning against a tree, arms crossed, head down.
"There you are, I was getting worried," Susan chided as she stepped up to him, a hand resting on the side of an arm.
"Were you now?" it sounded darker than Caspian felt was warranted in the situation.
His thought had been to merely assure himself that Susan reached her brother without mishap, but his curiosity was piqued now. Was this what siblings were like?
"Don't be like that Peter," fists on her hips. "I don't know what's gotten into you anyway."
"You shouldn't touch him like that, it's not proper."
She huffed, "I'm sure I don't know what you mean."
Pushing off of his tree, Peter paced a tight circle around Susan, "He's a Telmarine Susan, he's filth. Yet you... you touch him as though he deserves the right to it." Snarling, "It's not proper and you know it. There can be nothing between you and him. You'll leave, we'll leave, at least spare yourself some of the pain this time."
She'll leave...? something twisted in his soul at that thought. He refused to accept that idea. This time? What does he mean... this time?and Caspian's eyes narrowed in what felt suspiciously like jealousy.
Releasing a soft cry of irritation, "You promised to never speak of him again!"
"And when we return, he'll be dead in minutes compared to our time Susan. It's been thirteen hundred years to one of ours, the very second we return - he'll have lived an entire lifetime. Had a family, replaced you. Think of that then Susan." Her hand rocked forward smacking her brother's cheek, so hard his head whipped around. As it rose again, Peter caught it, holding it to his abused face, "But I'll always be there for you Susan. You know it, you know I'm telling the truth. Give up any silly idea you have. It's just hormones anyway."
Susan shivered, tugging on her hand, yet Peter wouldn't release it. Caspian's stomach knotted, not fully understanding what was going on, this didn't feel right. This didn't feel normal. There was something wrong. He stilled himself, waiting, watching as Peter wrapped Susan in a hug, pulling her into his chest, mouth brushing over her cheeks and forehead murmuring. And Caspian couldn't tear himself away. Neither could Susan it looked like, as the comforting movements of hands on her sides and back turned languid.
Sickened, Caspian clenched his eyes closed, but he couldn't block out the sounds of Peter laying Susan on the ground or the sound of her breath hitching. Why does she not fight him? Why does she not say no?! And why, why am I standing here mute witness to this atrocity?!
But he couldn't move, couldn't utter, and he wondered if that was how Susan felt, even as the sounds became wet, Peter's voice husky, tiny little moans issuing from Susan's throat.
If he thinks I will allow her to leave with him...
Peter was over her, moving in and out, her knees spread, skirts hitched up, seeking to find that look in her eyes that said she loved him still. That she loved only him. That it was only him who made her feel this way, that he was the only one to touch her. Susan was so wet, always ready for him when he took her. Kissing her neck, the tops of her breasts, plunging against her, feeling every sweet inch. But her eyes were closed, always closed now. Was she thinking of him, that damned Giles? That dirty Archenlander who had won her heart? Or was she thinking of the Telmarine bastard? Pounding at her harder, merciless, he'd make her look at him, remind her that it was him, just him, who'd always love her, always be there. What did it matter that he had killed Giles? He'd done it for her. She was his, just his, and Peter could feel the telltale fluttering around his cock, Maybe this time she'll open her eyes...
But she didn't, even as a cry was torn from her, that he smothered with his mouth, lips grinding over hers, bruising. And in these moments he hated Susan and he loved her and he wanted to devour her. It wasn't her fault though he reasoned as he pressed harder, faster, deeper, seeking his own release, it was just those damned dirty filthy letches. Caspian could just as easily be put down as Giles was, and h'ed do it if he had to. Susan would cry, and he would comfort her, and she would love him again.
"I love you," Peter gasped, pressing his mouth to her ear, "I love you..."
Susan never said it back, just whispered, "I know..."
You'll love me one day... You will... You're just blinded by the others... that's all. I'll show you... I'll show you how much I love you, and you'll see. You'll have to see.
Holding her tight, spent, Peter rested his weight on her, feeling safe for the moment. Almost at peace as fingers ran through his hair. Eyes still closed. Always closed.
"Look at me," stroking her cheek.
Her lips trembled, begging for another kiss. Leaning in and opening her mouth with his tongue, sweeping it in and invading every nook and cranny, tasting the apples she ate earlier that day. Tasting something all Susan, a bittersweet tang. For now he'd take this. Peter put all his heart into each touch, telling Susan that she belonged to him, that he belonged to her. Eventually it'd get through. It would have to, because it was him or no one else. He didn't care if it was unreasoning, when was love ever reasonable? Whoever sought to take her from him would pay and pay dearly. Later he would warn off that Telmarine, because Peter wasn't so unfair as to not give him a honourable chance to back off. And if he didn't? Well accidents happen.
Smiling in Susan's neck, "You're mine..."
He's following me again, Caspian was at her side, she was never alone. Peter was right, it was just hormones, it was just... Just someone touching me without demanding more. Shuddering, Susan clutched her skirts trying to shove away the thoughts, the memories. And Peter would never let her get away, and if by some miracle she did - what would happen then? What would happen to Peter? To Edmund and Lucy? Pressing her hand to her mouth, Oh god, what if he... what if he noticed Lucy? Swallowing the bile that thought brought, Susan reinforced herself, reminding her heart that no sweet words from Caspian could afford to move it.
Arm offered, "M'lady, would you care to take a walk with me?"
"I have things to do Caspian," trying to ignore how warm his eyes were in the daylight, how they looked like deep pools of chocolate.
"Then how may I assist?" his smile winning.
What could it hurt to have some company? Sighing, "Take those bandages over there and roll them please."
He nodded and they were quiet for a time, working on sorting and preparing medical supplies.
"Su?" Peter entered, that swagger to his walk that made girls swoon. But it left her unmoved. "Oh. Hello Caspian."
Caspian nodded, his voice ever neutral, "High King Peter."
"What do you need Peter?" pushing herself up from the bench wiping her hands off on her skirts.
"I was wondering if you'd come look at something with me," and her blood went cold.
Now? He wants... to so soon? It's only been a few days... she knew that glint. Forcing a distracted smile, "Can't it wait?"
"No, I'm afraid it can't."
And so she steeled herself, but Caspian had gotten up to join them, "It would be a pleasure to join you," stepping carelessly between them, offering his arm to Susan once more.
Oh god Caspian, you're playing with fire...
Peter shot him a dark glare, but nodded, "Fine."
Tossing and turning on his bedroll, Should I ask her about what I saw? the thought tormented him. He'd been unable to act, to prevent what had happened. All he could do now was interrupt and make sure Susan was never alone. Even though now she rebuffed him more often than not, her eyes still followed him when she thought he wouldn't notice. Caspian knew he had to tread carefully, she was hurt and damaged, and did not need some man panting after her. So he did not do those things, but stayed by her side, for even if he hadn't felt the stirrings of protectiveness and desire for her, it was only right that someone prevent the violence against her.
But how could he confront the High King? Who would believe him? No one, everyone thinks that this.. monster is the best thing to have ever graced this land. Fools. Blind. Can they not see? Rolling over Caspian knew that people never saw what they didn't want to see. And this was such an abomination that no one would want to see it. Hedidn't want to see it. Now that he had though, Caspian would not let it continue. Getting up from his pallet, he wandered around the How. These thoughts plagued him, almost more than the question of what to do about Miraz and his army. Going over to check on Susan, he saw that her pallet was empty. A shock of worry rent him, but another glance showed that Peter's still contained the High King comforting him.
If I thought no one would miss the bastard, I would rid Susan of him now, walking away from the sleeping area, he went in search of the Gentle Queen.
He found Susan sitting on a scout ledge, looking at nothing.
Coughing to grab her attention, "M'lady?"
Startled, she turned, her hair down and whipping around, like he'd never seen it before, Caspian saw tears dripping off her chin in little rivulets, "Please, leave me alone."
"I am sorry m'lady, that is a thing I cannot do," sitting next to her, offering one of the cloths he used to clean his sword - it was all he had. "No one should be alone with their tears." When she did not take the cloth from him, Caspian leaned over, taking her chin in his hand, "Forgive me my forwardness," ignoring Susan's flinch, and dabbed away the moisture tenderly. "If it is something you wish to speak of, I am here, and will never judge you harshly," willing her to look into his eyes, to see how he meant his words.
Something flashed in the cerulean depths, but was quickly stamped down, "It's nothing."
"Then I wonder how bad something must feel, if this is nothing," muttering as he tucked the tear-stained rag next to his heart. Resting his elbows on his knees, Caspian watched Susan watching him from the corner of his eye. She thought he wouldn't notice, but he did. Minutes ticked by, and her tears had long since stopped before he spoke again. "I always thought having siblings would be a boon. What do you think of it?"
She jerked, her eyes shooting wide, "Pardon?"
"In fact, I always wished I had an older brother or a younger one. Someone to watch my back," carefully picking his words, still watching her watch him. "Someone to grow up with. Someone to share laughter with. A playmate, a confidante, a friend. What are friends like? I do not know, for I have had none. But you," turning his head, studying her face, "you have been blessed it would seem. Lucy is such fun, always a bright and happy thing. And Edmund, ever thoughtful, and quite a bit of fun to mock or be mocked by." Taking a deep breath Caspian forged ahead, "And Peter - he is an interesting one. Very protective... Protective to the point of possessiveness."
Susan shivered, "Yes he is."
"Tell me about it," urging, taking her hand in his, "Tell me what it is like for you."
"I'm sorry Caspian, I should go to bed," and he let her go as she stood up.
But calling over his shoulder as she started to walk away, "Is it normal for a brother to watch his sister's hips sway?" It was pitched just for her ears, "And is it normal... for him to kiss her as a man kisses a woman?"
"What are you talking about?" she hissed at him, but he could see the fear in her eyes.
Holding out his hand, he waited for her to come and take it, and he let out a sigh of relief when she did - she had come to him, "I have seen many things my Queen. I have seen... fathers look to their daughters as wives enough times to know what I saw."
Shuddering, "What you saw...?"
"In the woods," his heart breaking as Susan held in a sob. Opening his arms, but not pulling her to him - it was her choice, "I saw and what is more heard, things that should not happen I do not think. But... I could not stop it. I did not know how." Touching her chin, lifting it just enough for her to look at him, "But I will stop it how ever I may. This... thing.. it brings you pain - I can see it. Do not deny it," even as she shook her head, these were hard things he was saying, "Tell me how to stop it and I will."
Susan threw herself into his arms, shaking and crying in great soul burning sobs, "It's my fault."
Hugging her and rocking side to side, not moving his hands, not wanting to remind her - or himself - of the woods, "No, no it is not."
"Yes it is. If.. if I weren't so pretty, or.. If I hadn't hugged him so much, or -"
Cutting her off, "Nonsense. You did not ask for -"
"Yes I did! I did once..." the guilt on her face, the self-loathing made Caspian want to get up and eviscerate Peter right then right there. It was one of the hardest things he ever did in his life - restraining himself from rending flesh from bone at this.
This was for her, he must stay calm, he must not act like Peter despite the boiling in his blood, "Explain then, and I shall counter it, for no matter what - how he acts now is not.. as a man should to a woman let alone a sister. You are no mere possession, no mere toy to be.. " hiding how much the word was acid in his mouth, "bedded at a whim."
"I... I loved him once... like... like that," his heart twisted at the thought, but something in how she said it - she had been naught but an innocent, only loving someone because she did.
Her words spilled into his ears, filling his mind up with many things, but most of all they filled him with a need to take the pain from her.
I will not let another harm befall you my... my Susan...
Why is she laughing with him? fuming as he spun away from the image. Every time he meant to speak to Caspian, to tell him that Susan was not for filthy arrogant boys who thought that she was a pretty prize, the bastard was with Susan. And the few times he'd tried to step aside with Caspian were thwarted by her. Growling, he did not like this. It was worse than when Giles had started courting Susan in Narnia in that time before.
Worm. That's what he is, insignificant. I better get him his throne and soon, so that we can leave this place. Ah! If only I had known being here was worse trouble than living in England now...
He loved Narnia heart and soul, but this time it was apparent they wouldn't stay, not when there was a king already picked to rule. Not only that it would be harder to keep men from Susan this time, not when they were living in the same place - when they'd merely been guests at Cair Paravel that'd been a different matter entirely. Now Peter wouldn't be able to turn away suitors as easily, for they'd be everywhere, trying to take what was rightfully his. So the only logical solution was to take care of Caspian's problem then, and then Peter and his siblings could go home. Home were he was their protector, where they looked up to him and loved him. Home... where Susan was his. All his. And they would raise Lucy and Edmund properly, shielding them, guiding them through life. Being the parents that the war tore from them. That was what was right, that was what was good.
How can I get this task finished more quickly? Damnit. If only we could get to Miraz... Wait... That's it!
Smiling triumphantly, nodding to every Narnian he passed, once again the benevolent king now that the thundercloud of anger had passed from his face. Peter would win Caspian that throne, and set things right here - then they would be gone, and it would happen as soon as Miraz's army appeared on the outskirts of the How's plain.
"I'm scared," her heart was thundering in her chest.
Caspian's hands were gentle, resting on her waist, helping her keep her balance, "You can trust me my Queen."
His voice brought shivers that raised the hair on the back of her neck, but it wasn't creepy, it was just good. Clad in a pair of his trews, Susan was trying to go into a handstand. She'd seen Caspian do a series of handsprings and then walk on his hands, legs waving in the air as he laughed, hand-walking to her one morning, and she'd wanted to learn how to immediately. The clothes she wore smelled of leather and horse and rust, and something else - sweaty Caspian. It was a heavenly scent, a perfume that intoxicated her mind.
"Are you ready?"
Nodding, Susan leaned back, allowing much of her weight to rest in Caspian's secure grasp as he bent over her. Hands brushed the green grass, and she let out a delighted laugh, as Caspian lifted her, so that her feet were no longer on the ground. Her nose wasn't far from the earth, and tipping her head at an angle she saw Caspian's boots, comfortably worn, and the edge of his scabbard. Trusting him implicitly, Susan picked up one hand, and moved it an inch forward, then the other, Caspian shuffling along with her, supporting her in his arms.
Giggling, "I'm doing it!"
He was chuckling as well, the sound warming her to her toes, "Aye that you are my Queen! Very good!"
Susan didn't get very far, but still she was laughing, when Caspian helped her get her feet on the ground again, wrapping her arms around him. Caspian picked her up, twirling her about, smiling fit to block the sun. Never had she seen something so glorious, so she kissed him. He froze, then returned it almost shyly, his lips moving slowly, as he put a gradual stop to the spinning. But still Susan's world spun, tilting this way and that, and Caspian was the only solid thing in it. She knew from what he said that he was no stranger to women, yet the gentleness of his mouth on hers was earth shaking, and she could feel him trembling with restraint. Pulling away, Susan looked at him worriedly - was it okay that she had done that?
But he only cupped her cheek, his face flushed, still smiling at her in that special way he had, making her feel that nothing could ever hurt her again. Caspian tilted his head towards her just a touch, asking permission, not demanding - and Susan knew she could say no with no consequences. Nodding, and his lips were on hers again, teasing, his tongue darting out to lick at them, and she tried to meet him, to allow him access, but he'd draw away just as their tongues would touch, drawing her into his. Oh how he tasted, like spring water and rations, of warmth and safety, and of himself. Moaning Susan pressed closer to him, wanting nothing more than to drown in him. It's never been like this...Is this what it's supposed to be like? Fun? What would it be like to have him inside me...? Would he still be so...nice?
The thought terrified her and exhilarated her.
Breaking apart from him, "Thank you."
Caspian just nodded, resting his forehead against hers, looking into her eyes, "Anytime."
Susan thought that he would change if he knew all of what had passed between she and Peter - and he had, just as she'd feared. But the change was different, instead of judging looks, and recriminations, what she'd gotten was more tenderness. Everything he did, he did gently, every time he touched her he waited for the go ahead. And while there hadn't been much of the touching, it had been different than anything she'd known since Giles - who even as kind as he had been, had been demanding. But Giles was a warrior, a slayer of man or beast, a soldier. Caspian was... he was a warrior scholar. Like her. His heart was soft and kind, feeling each drop of blood he'd ever spilt, and vowing constantly to be vigilant against excess violence. It was so overwhelming, so different, and for the first time ever in so long... things felt right.
Biting her lip, "I can kiss you anytime?"
"Anytime you want. And it will be just like that," rubbing his nose against hers, "I will not hurt you Susan."
He said my name! the realization thrilling her. Wanting to test him, to see if what he said was true, she pressed her mouth to his. Susan felt him relinquish his control to her, could feel it in his arms about her waist, and when she pulled away he followed just long enough to brush the corner of her mouth. She felt petite and feminine in his arms, yet at the same time powerful with how he looked at her. Like he would do whatever she asked of him at anytime, no matter what it was - just for a kiss.
Reaching up, she trailed her fingers along his neck, it was rough from being shaved earlier that day, taut and soft at the same time. Very much unlike Peter was, he hadn't started growing a beard once more - but that was only because he couldn't grow one currently. This stubble it felt... interesting. Checking Caspian's face as she stood up on her toes, she kissed him there. He let out a low sound of pleasure, his hands flexing on her hips, tilting his head granting her better access.
"Caspian?" mumbling against his neck.
"Aye?" it sounded breathy. Do I do that to him?
"Um... would.. would you like to... touch me?"
He choked, his arms spasming around her, then relaxing, "More than anything." But instead of following up on it, Caspian pulled away, and Susan thought that she'd done something wrong until he said, "But only if it is something you want. And - you can tell me to stop at anytime. Remember that." She watched as he looked around, "And here may not be.. wise."
That only left two places open to them - the How, where someone may find them, or... the woods. Shivering at the memory, and Caspian mistook it for fear.
"We do not have to do anything Susan. Maybe we should just take a walk? And talk some more? You have yet to tell me of the ships you used to sail upon."
Looking up at him, and how concerned he was, how courteous - that made up her mind.
Shaking her head, "A walk in the woods would be lovely," and whispering the last part, "and.. some touching too. I'd like that."
She has very shapely legs,it was hard not to notice in the leather breeches she wore. His clothes wrapped around her, the arms miles too long, the cuffs of the pants rolled up, and Susan was the most beautiful woman in the world. It was a struggle to keep a cool head, because as innocent as their touching had been up until this point, she may not know how far she was willing to go. He certainly wasn't sure if this was a good idea, but he wasn't going to naysay her when Susan had requested something. Caspian needed to show Susan that things were on her terms, and if that meant that they went a little faster than he thought was wise - it was still better to take a step back after taking two steps forward than no steps at all.
And ah, her smile earlier, it took his breath away seeing Susan carefree like that. It was how she should be - free, free to be herself and find joy where she could. I care not if I have a say - I will make it so. But I cannot kill Peter - it would damage Susan. Then what shall I do? glancing at her, where she walked beside him, hand held in his. Gritting his teeth - Whatever I must to protect her, I shall do. None shall pass by me to harm her. Never again.
Susan came to a halt with a tiny frown, eyes the colour of the sky worried, "Is something wrong?"
Shaking his head and smiling, "No, nothing is wrong. I merely ponder the meaning of life," my life. Your life.
"Oh," playing with his fingers, weaving them together and rubbing his knuckles, "so what have you decided about life?"
Raising their intertwined hands, laying a kiss to each of her fingers, "That it is worth living to the fullest, and that it is worth loving with all that I have to give." Watching the play of sunlight through the boughs as they gilded Susan in many colours, "And that those I love should be protected from all evils that I can stop. That... the good things are the small things, the moments of joy so that I may hold them tight to my breast. Those small things... those small things are the great things, the greatest of all."
Your smile is the brightest of them all, your happy kisses are something that I shall hold too me for eternity. And I hope to one day hold you close and know you hold me just as tightly.Be he didn't say that, he didn't want to frighten her. Because those thoughts... those spoke of permanence, of staying when Peter had said they would leave. She wouldn't though, not if Peter left as well.
"You Sir - have a silver tongue," she blushed under his gaze.
Leaning down, "It is as you say." Eyes like a cloudless day widened at his motion, "Susan, my Queen - may I kiss you?"
Caspian wasn't used to asking, he hadn't ever needed to. But he wanted to with Susan, he wanted her to know that he did want her but would always obey her wishes.
"No," her answer catching him off-guard.
But he was careful to not show it, nodding with a smile, "Then perhaps next time."
She tests me, that is what she is doing,and the thought eased his heart. If Susan was comfortable enough to explore the boundaries, then she was begining to feel safe with him. And that was what he wanted, her to have a sense of safety - for with him she was. Always.
Squeezing her fingers, "So tell me of the prows - you say that Narnian ships had heads of beasts carved on them? Fantastic, I wish I had been there to see -"
Susan cut him off, dragging his head down to kiss him. Taken by surprise, his mouth opening and in came Susan's tongue, sweeping over his, tangling. Moaning, he reciprocated ardently, almost forgetting himself. Caspian caught himself before his hands had gone to her breasts and settled them on the neutral territory of her hips, squeezing rhythmically, becoming breathless, left panting for air when Susan buried her head in his chest.
Caspian murmured a heartfelt, "Thank you," causing Susan to giggle.
"What? I said you couldn't kiss me, but I never said I wouldn't kiss you," her full lips plump from their play, a smile scrunching up her nose.
"Ah, aye, that is so," and he feared his grin was goofy - but he couldn't care, not when she was looking at him like that. "The things you do to me Susan," sighing, wanting nothing more than to wrap himself up in her. "You make my knees weak every time you smile at me, and I feel as though the ground is rushing up to meet me when you kiss me," unable to keep the words from spilling forth. Shaking his head he looked away, "You must think me a silly fool, my Queen."
Her arms came around his torso, rubbing her face into his shirt, "No. You probably think me silly though. I get... scared..."
Giving her a firm hug, "As I said before, I will not judge you. You may trust me, and I will not hurt you. It is no wonder you get scared," taking a hopefully small liberty and curling over her enough to rest his cheek on her shoulder, "and it is alright that you are. Eventually you will not be, or will be only a little. But I shall always treat you with the respect you deserve, and if you are scared - I will heed you. Always Susan, you have my word upon it."
She smelled so good, of herself and him, his clothes covering her in his scent, and Caspian did his best to keep his lips from seeking hers at all, but didn't quite manage. Nuzzling softly at her neck before disentangling himself - she was far far too tempting - taking her hand to continue their walk.
But Susan dug her heels in, looking at him, "Caspian... I want to touch you... Is that... is that okay? Is it okay that I want that?"
His heart thundered in his chest like he'd run a thousand miles - she wanted to touch him... Chewing his lip trying to hide how very eager he was for any exploration, "It is more than alright. I would... welcome it, for you have such beautiful hands." Stepping into her, looking down, "And you may want anything you like, for if it belongs to me it belongs to you."
As I do more surely with every minute in your presence, I am lost and I am glad of it...
Oy that's rough - but eh, well. I needed to post something, and while this one's not finished, it won't take me that long to do it. The part's aren't all broken up into days, just sorta.. long moments in time. Each scene doesn't necessarily take place on the same day, unless it's obvious. Next part will start off with Peter's POV (it IS his turn) but that one will be a continuation of where this last scene left. Off. I'm sleep deprived, not feelin' so hot, and I've had some lovely suggestions for Chapter 8 of I Wish, I really am working on it. Honestly. Oh, and I read the cutest drabble by Autumnspice - definately something fluffy is good for reading in between something as dark as this one is turning out to be. So if you need a little pick me up - the drabble's called Of Dragons and Damsels. I tell ya - it gave ME a welcome break.
Reviews? Got some? Got some migrain meds? Flames? Or a chocolate covered Caspian? Or maybe one wearing nothing but a bow and a smile? All these things and more are acceptable forms of payment and appreciation and keep my vision partially clear - my eyes seem to be wandering this way and that at the moment...