Experimentation: Chapter Two

A fanfiction by: Mr. Trite

"And don't forget to shut the freezer when you're done with it!" For about the millionth time, I sighed and rolled my eyes. Of course, you didn't see that; you were too busy yelling at me. What else is new? You were carrying that huge black suitcase in your hand, and I guess that was the only thing keeping you from demonstrating which light switch did what or something. Even though you never let me touch the third one on the left. I sighed.

"Okay, Okay." Really, I was growing impatient by then. It was just about one thirty, and you had a private jet to catch. Although, now that I think about it, if you're not on a private jet by a scheduled time, does it leave without you? After all, it is private. You scowled at me and put a hand on your hip. Really, I love it when you do that when you're mad. It makes you look like a woman. A really sexy woman. But, I wouldn't tell you that. Because you slap like a really sexy woman, too. And those tend to hurt.

"Okay, I'm just checking." Still standing by the door, you took a good look around the house, like you were coming back in five years instead of five days. Almost like you were trying to photograph the scene in you mind. Just in case, you know, there's a dust mote on the coffee table when you get home.

Anyway, you must have finally decided that it was cool to go, because you looked at me. Actually, it was more of an icy glare. Like I broke your motorcycle already. Not like I was going to or anything. On purpose.

"Alright Matt, I'm leaving now." you said, pulling a pair of black shades over yours eyes. Without looking back, you opened the front door behind you and stepped out. "Just remember everything I told you to do, okay?" I rolled my eyes. "I'll try not to set the place of fire." I muttered, and then looked at you with a big smile on my face. "Okay, Mello!" I chirped. "You got it!" A tiny smile crossed your face, but I doubt you realized it. I almost laughed at that- Had I really fooled you so easily? Man Mello, sometimes you're just too easy—

"I'm easy to fool, is that what you're going to say? I'm easy to fool? I'll just have you know, I was finally happy to get out of that house! You obviously weren't listening to me, huh smartass?"

"Smartass? Me? Oh, come on Mello. I'm an angel. Can I go on with the story now?"

"…Fine. Whatever."

Anyway, avoiding that subject, you started telling me what to do again. Just always have to get in that last word, don't 'cha? "Now Matt, if you actually have a situation when you need to call my real cell phone- And you better not- who do you ask for, just in case?" I smile. It's funny that you can be so paranoid, and yet easy to f—Uh, play around with. God Mello, that glare is scary.

"When that happens, I ask for Nate River, aka Near, right?" You grinned at that.

"Excellent. Well, you seem like you've got everything all under control, so I'll be leaving now. Call me only if you need me, alright?" When I nodded, you returned it. "And maybe, just maybe, I'll get you a little trinket or something, okay?" I practically jumped up and hugged you at the sound of that. With any luck, that little 'trinket' would be that 5,000 life-sized statue of Yuffie Kisaragi I saw on the internet the other day. Ah, Yuffie…

"5,000?! Five thousand dollars?!

"Dude, you rule the Mafia. I bet you've got five-thousands dollars in your pocket right now."

"…Just shut up and continue."

Anyway, with a final nod, you walked out the door, locking it behind you. Automatically, I walked to the nearest window and watched you walk down the steps and to the unmarked, black car waiting for you at the end of the driveway. I wonder if they knew you were carrying a gun in your pocket, just in case. Depends if he was actually some kidnapper or not. I mean, you could shake some guy's hand and he'd instantly know you have about ten pistols on you. I bet even know, as you stare at me like I told you I was L in disguise, you've got one or two hidden in your boots.

I guess it was actually your escort after all, because I watched as the car drove off into a tiny black speck, and finally blurred into nothingness. It was that, that final little thing, that made me realize I was finally home by myself. I let out a whoop of happiness, grinning wildly. I had been waiting for the day you'd leave me home alone ever since you had me come with you, and I just didn't know what to do first!

Particularly because I didn't know what to do in the first place.

Shrugging, I made my way over to the couch and plopped myself down, taking out the remote from in between two couch cushions, and flipped it on. The minute I did, the TV responded in a flurry of black and white fuzz, making that annoying buzzing noise. I could only stare at it, my mouth hanging open a bit as I did so.

…Hey, do you think TV companies do that just to mesmerize people so they watch the TV's even longer, earning them more money? Seriously, I think that's why they do that. Same as that one channel with all the funky colored bars that reminds me of a rave. But instead of awesome techno music, there's just this really annoying bee…What? What am I doing wrong? I'm just trying to give you visuals! No need to glare at me like that, Mello. I'll get back on track. God.

Okay, so anyway, I didn't know what was happening. I mean, the TV had been fine an hour ago while I was watching that really cool show about that guy who sees what crappy jobs people have for a living- Man, I feel bad for those losers. I mean, I work for the guy in control of the mafia! How badass is that? So, yeah, I freaked. I mean, I promised some dudes on Live I'd meet them for an all night Halo tournament that night! So, of course, I grabbed the nearest phone I could find and called you up.

You answered way quicker than I thought you would. "Mello?!" I asked, a little frantic. I instantly realized what I had done.

"What did we just go over, Matt?" You weren't screaming, but I could tell you were red in the face already.

"Sorry!" I gasped, and you gave an aggravated huff.

"Listen Matt, you better have not set the stove on fire already, or so help me God I will-"

"It's not that! Listen, I…I…I think somebody stole our cable! The TV, it's…" At that point, I realized you hadn't interrupted me yet. Normally, you would already be on a two hour rampage about how I called you Mello instead of Near. Well, excuse me. You gave me so many rules; I'm shocked I had just forgotten the one.

"…Are you stupid, or something?" I recoiled- Stupid? I thought you'd be pretty concerned, actually- God forbid you miss one episode of Iron Chef. "I told you to only call me in case of emergencies! Knowing you, you probably sat on the stupid remote and changed the channel!" I sat there, dumbfounded as you went on. "And if you call me on more time, I swear I'll call Ross and have him baby-sit you. And I know how much you like Ross." This sent shivers down my spine. Rod Ross, 6"2', liked me just about as much as I like the twelve-year old idiots on Live. And, trust me, I really hate them.

"O…Okay Mello." I said, unsure if you had heard me or not, my voice was so quiet. The sharp click on the other end signaled your leave. I turned the remote around in my hand and shrugged, hitting the channel button up one. Instantly, the TV filled with color as a golf tournament came onto the screen. Eh, nothing special. After al, I preferred Mario Golf. Shrugging, I tossed the TV remote, figuring their was nothing good on TV anyway.

Whack! I looked up from the screen, confused. Peering over my left shoulder, the direction I threw the remote, I noticed that there were three mechanical pieces lying next to the closest wall. Sighing, I got up from my seat to look it over. Playing Wii all the time must have seriously beefed me up, because the remote lay in shambles at my feet.

And that's how I knew it was going to be a long five days.