There was a wildness about him. Even his hair was untamed, looking always as though it had just been caught in a breeze. It fell about his face, and he never gave any indication that it bothered him to have it in his eyes. The hair, along with everything else, was irrelevant. But he was not plagued with ennui, merely existing and letting life pass him by. No, he was full of fire and passion and energy. Where did it come from? Where was he headed?
The energy was not hard to guess. He seldom starved himself. He was instead rather indulgent. But the intensity, that came from somewhere else. That was not the lives that he took into himself, but rather his own life, or lack of life, somehow still burning after all these years.
Sometimes she wondered what would happen if the candle were to go out. If he would one night simply not awaken. It seemed too tame, too mundane a way for him to go – to meet his end like an old man in his sleep, peacefully slipping away without notice. But no matter how accustomed she had become to the sight of his coffin, she could not help but blur the distinction between rest and eternal rest at times.
Their seldom-spoken arrangement of master and servant was comfortable and well-worn, and yet after all these years, there was an uneasiness that she felt about it. Not everyone had a tame monster. Tame? Ha! Alucard was anything but tame. And yet…he was always obedient. Rather…his loyalty was unquestionably intense. He craved her orders, in his unique wild way. Taunted her with them, even, making it clear that all the destruction he wrought was at her will and her will alone. Not a single victim fell, but at her command.
Or so he would have her think. She saw the mocking light in his eyes. The missions, as everything else, were a game to him. He toyed with life and death, reveled in it like a child at play. She knew that if she were to unleash him on the world, he would happily destroy it all. His appetite was never sated.
But he checked it for her. He put himself at her command, so that he would have limits. Is that why he was so keen on having a master? She understood that his loyalty to her family preceded her existence. It was not to her personally that he had first bowed his head in submission. But from their first meeting, he had announced her worthiness for that role, and held to it ever since.
She hoped she were worthy of his estimation. Oh, she had no lack of family pride. She was not plagued with self-doubt. Far from it. She knew she would live to be a woman her father would be proud of. She could command a monster without becoming one; smite her enemies without falling into their evil. She took her duties seriously, and fulfilled them all. All but one…
She was the last of the Hellsings. She would have no heir. Her uncle had left no children, and she was her father's only child. When her life came to an end, a stranger would assume the reins of the Hellsing Organization. Or worse, it would dissolve completely, and the people of England must needs fend for themselves against the creatures of the night.
But it was not the people of England who would be most deeply betrayed if she did not prepare for a successor. It was…her loyal servant. He would be without a master. Somehow, she did not think that was a freedom he wished for. For all his wildness, he truly seemed to fear a life without restraint. Or perhaps…he feared what he would become, when the limitations fell away.
She could not truly imagine him showing fear. She'd never seen him scared of anything. She smiled. What was there for him to fear? No one and nothing could harm him…except her.
And yet she could not help but choose as she had. What man could she marry, when there was this tamed wild vampire in her life? Perhaps…if things had been different. If her father had lived longer. But as a girl of twelve, she had met Alucard, and so there would be no heir for the Hellsing family. It did not seem fair that either way, she would betray him. But since when was life fair? Perhaps she had chosen this betrayal because she knew she would not live to see the result. What a fool.
She looked up to see her servant, who had entered silently. One of his games was to try to startle her, so she'd trained herself not to jump at his sudden appearances. "I was about to send Walter for you. It seems there's a situation in Market Chipping and the local police are requesting aid. I want you to sort it out quietly."
"As you wish, my master." He sketched a bow, and looked up at her from under his hair, the gleam of his eyes matching his smile. Long ago, she had decided it was more playful than feral, but it was hard to miss the hunger and the teeth.
She gave him his instructions and watched him leave. No, there would definitely be no heir for the Hellsing family. He would have to deal with the consequences when the time came. But for now, she would be a worthy master to this wild animal who was so willingly tamed.
Author's Note: My first foray into the world of Hellsing. This was inspired from the scene in the manga where she says, "Welcome home, Count," and he calls her "Countess." Their relationship is obviously complicated, and I wanted to explore it a little bit from her point of view.
Thanks for reading!