We open up to Spider-man standing behind the counter of the Marvel Convenience store with an obviously drunk Iron Man slouched over the counter.
Spider-man: Tony for the last time I can't give you any beer, you're an alcoholic.
Iron Man: Ams not. Now come onsh what'sh one little beer going to do to meish?
Spider-man: Tony you're drunk! Besides can't you read the sign.
He points to a sign that says "DON'T SELL BEER TO" with Iron Man's picture on it. Iron Man looks closely at the sign.
Iron Man: Don't...shell...beer to. Wow that guy'sh srewed.
Spider-man: Tony that's you. Now buy something else or fuck off.
Iron Man: Finesh then, if you won't hick give me what I needsh then I'll take my buisnessh elsewhere.
Spider-man: scoff Tony you're banned in every bar and aren't allowed to buy alcohol in any store in the state, whe're you gonna get booze?
Iron Man: That new shtore across from here run by those DC kidsh in tights.
Spider-man: Sure Tony just keep believing those drunken hallucinations.
Iron walks away and out the door drunkenly. Then after that Deadpool comes by and jumps over the counter and stands next to Spider-man.
Deadpool: Hey Spidey, you see that new store that opened across the street from us.
Spider-man: You mean that wasn't more of Iron Man's drunk talk?
They turn around and look out the window to see Iron Man walk outh the "DC Central" convinience store with dozens of bottles of liquor and beer.
Iron Man: Ha I told yoush I'd get beer.
Iron Man takes a swig of whiskey but drops his bottles and clutches the area where his liver is.
Iron Man: ACK What's happening to me?
He then sees his broken bottles of booze on the sidewalk.
Iron Man: Aaaaah my babies!
He kneels down while clutching his liver and starts to slurp up as much of the spilled alcohol as he can on the sidewalk. He then turns and falls on his back writhing in pain and his liver explodes. Spider-man and Deadpool walk up to his corpse and Deadpool starts poking Iron Man's corpse with a sword.
Deadpool: He's dead.
Spider-man: Wow, first Captain America now him. Except Iron Dick's death was a lot more humiliating.
Deadpool: Should we help him?
Spider-man: Nah let an ambulance take care of it... or vultures. Come on let's check out this new store.
Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or any of the associated names mentioned in this story.