Other than humans, elephants are the only mammal that can produce tears. He tried not to think of elephants; it only made it harder to look her in the eye if his started to leak. The glassy, emotional look glistening tears that don't fall conveys a heart, but outright crying showed weakness, or some other over sentimental crap that she obviously wasn't interested in. He figured he'd play it off cool, and maybe if he made it seem that he thought that what they had like it didn't mean anything then maybe she would feel something that might add up to regret…or remorse…(or relief ? No- play it cool) …or anger? At herself? At him?
He told himself to shut up. That it was a misunderstanding, that his ears of a owl didn't hear right, that his eyes of a hawk couldn't see, that what his nose of a wolf thought it smelled got lost in translation getting to his brain. That happened sometimes, right? It didn't matter though, because he didn't care, remember?
He opened his mouth, ignoring how dry it was, intending to say something cool, suave or witty like, "That's what I was gonna do with you later!" or " Dude, leave a sock on the door when you're with other guys!" or " I know your schedule is packed, babe, but try not to overlap dates" or even a " I can do better than that"
All that escaped was a tiny, pathetic, shriveled up, " Oh."
She didn't notice him crush the small gift in his hand (or the claws piercing the palm of his hand which was still enclosed in a tight fist) because she was looking into his eyes like she wasn't sure why he was here at all. Well, shit. No anger, no remorse, no regret, (no relief) …no…emotion. At all. He could always tell, she always had something in her eyes, her soul wasn't empty. But right now? - No, its alright, he's just being over dramatic, and his eyesight was getting kind of foggy ( elephants- no) and he-…
"Gar?" Shit. He was right all along. His senses didn't give out. She did (- don't think about her like that, she wouldn't)-…
Damn it! He tired so hard ! He worked for so long! Where did he go wrong? Why wasn't he ever good enough for her. He talked to her, he was always polite to her he looked out for her best interest, he took his time with her, he never pressured her, he protected her, he stood up for her, he was the shoulder to cry on for her, he was a beacon of hope for her, he tried for her, he cried for her, he sacrificed for her, he trusted her.
And it wasn't enough.
He made his jokes more appropriate, he gave her space, he started studying something other than cheat codes and handbooks, he ate stuff other than pizza and tofu, he increased his time at the gym, he calmed the fuck down, he cleaned up his room, he read things more thought provoking than cereal boxes and comic books, he saw more intelligent movies, he played less video games, he conditioned his nose to get used to those nag champa incense things, he grew up for her.
And it wasn't enough.
Maybe if he grew his hair out?- No. He needed to talk to someone. She was always the one he came to talk to. She was the one who was there for him the first time. She was the one that always said that it wasn't his fault when someone broke his heart. She was always the one to tell him that the best he can offer any one is himself.
Well fuck that. She didn't want anything to do with the goofball on the surface, and she took advantage of the man on the inside.
It took him years to get her to smile, and some pretty boy waltzes in and claims her in a few days and a few charmed words?
" Hey babe, just wanted to let you know I can't make it tonight. Something…came up." He threw in a grin and a wink for good measure, and besides a small catch in his throat, he knew he came across as nonchalant.
He turned back and headed to his room down the hall, ignoring the cliché pain in his chest. When he got there, he tossed the broken box to the soft carpet, letting his mother's necklace tumble free. When his door closed, he leaned against it and slid down to the floor, letting the dams break.
A/N: I read something sad earlier so I wanted make other people sad. ( Misery loves company! How else do you explain the emo trend? ) Then I realized I probably wasn't good enough at writing to make other people sad, but I wrote this anyway. ( Bad writing makes some people sad).
Okay, the story: I do love BB/Rae, ( and this totally doesn't seem like something that Raven would do), but…I had to write it and it had to be them. I don't know why I can't write them actually being (happy) together.
I forget where I heard the elephant thing, but I swear it was legit. I think.