were always together. James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and
Remus Lupin. Those names were hardly ever heard singularly – it was
always James and Sirius, Remus and James, Peter and Sirius. Like some
kind of quartet.
We laughed together, cried together, talked together... We were inseparable. And when we started our seventh and last year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, we decided we would always stick together, even after school. We needed each other. Out there, in the big world, were so many troubles. Voldemort's terror had not ended yet. Death Eaters were everywhere. It was difficult to know who to trust, but we trusted each other. A wrong decision, I can now say...
James, Sirius and Peter were the best friends I ever wished to have. I disguised my monthly problems first by telling them every full moon I had to leave for some reason – an ill mother, a marriage, a death – but they weren't fooled. In my second year at Hogwarts, they found out. And amazingly enough, incredibly enough, they didn't blame me. They didn't stop being with me. It was completely new to me. I had always lived with fear of my monthly transformations, fear of others finding out. It was such a relief that my best friends didn't turn me down after they found out. They did much more than that, much better things. They decided to keep me company. Becoming an Animagus is a long, dangerous and painful process. It takes years to master, not to mention to do it secretly right under Dumbledore's nose, and keeping it quiet. In my fifth year, they managed it all. Peter became a rat. Small as he was, he could always stop the Whomping Willow from moving by pushing on the spot. Sirius and James turned into a dog and a stag, both big enough to fight with me if necessary.
They made my transformationa easier. I was still a werewolf, but when I changed my human self remained inside of me. I became a wolf with a lot of human characteristics. I stopped biting and scratching myself and damaged the house instead. Sometimes I fought with my friends – more for fun than to really harm them.
I was described as the most mature one of our quartet. Dumbledore made me Prefect, probably to keep James and Sirius a bit more quiet, but I failed in that. I felt ver guilty about it, though, especially on the way they treated Severus Snape. He had been their main victim ever since they met him. He was a friend of Lily: reason enough for James to treat him badly. Sometimes I tried to stop them. I never joined them in teasing him. But I was too afraid to really stand up against them – afraid I would lose my friends.
After Hogwarts, we didn't have as
much contact as we used to, obviously. James married Lily very soon
after school. They had met at school, in the first year already –
their story is to be told another time. Sirius moved into his house
where his parents had lived before.
Sirius and James still had a lot of contact. They were the centre of our group, the two best friends. Peter and me were also friends, but not best; I never liked the way Peter admired James. James was, in his eyes, everything he, Peter, wasn't: smart, popular, handsome – I think this also had its part in what happened later on.
I spent my time trying to
find a job, which was extremely hard. There weren't many wizards
who trusted werewolves; in fact, I only knew few of them. After a
while I gave up and started working for the Order instead, which was
dangerous but at least something.
Voldemort was very powerful. It was a horrible time. You didn´t know who to trust... Every day, people disappeared, were found dead or were discovered to have joined the Dark Side. I was very glad that none of my betrusted friends showed signs of affection - I was particularly concerned about Sirius, seeing as he had grown up in a dark family.
Those concerns seemed confirmed when I heard the story about his betrayal. I had visited Lily, James and their son Harry a while ago, before Harry's first birthday. Sirius nor Peter was there. I finally had the time to speak to James alone and clearify some things of the past. Lily was very kind to me, too. She had always been, even when she found out about my secret. I was very glad to have it all straight when I finally left their house.
A couple of weeks later, it happened. James and Lily, dead in their house, attacked by none other than Voldemort. And Harry... little Harry, survived it. The curse backfired and he survived. Sirius was found guilty and sent to Azkaban, after killing Peter. All at once, I lost my three best friends, left with a very confused and angry mind.I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it coming.
To forget, I focussed even more on the Order. It had been disbanded after Voldemort's downfall, but I still knew some things to do. There wasn't as much left to do as there used to be. Voldemort was gone, or it seemed that way – I never believed he was truly gone. People celebrated, but I only joined a few. I was very upset about the sudden departure of the three best friends, one of whom I never believed to be evil. Nevertheless, I was happy the threat of the past year had lifted. I hoped on more justice for werewolves, but it was an idle hope. Wizards took their prejudices with them.
I spent the next years trying to find more Death Eaters. Many had found a way out by telling they had been Imperiused – my job was to sort out the liars. I didn't do a well job, though. I was devastated by the loss of the only ones who had trusted me, and many wizard and witches knew me by name, or at least by species. They knew I was a werewolf, and if I wasn't careful, I could be caught any minute. So there wasn't much left for me to do.