*Hiya, Set-chan here. I apologize for not updating anything in over a year and a half. Let's just say...I died for a while. I checked my stories and realized I never finished two of them and I hope to do that now, plus some. I'm very sorry. But I'm coming back with a vengence, if ya'll will forgive and take me back.
This is a pairing of Bella and Alice, it also is very angsty. Through my unfortunately short and new relationships, I've found out that I do angst very well now, so I gotta channel it out somehow, right?. Also it's my rendition of what could have happened. Warning: It's a little slow but it will pick up. I hope this helps people write more on this couple-there just aren't enough without any further ado...enjoy.
I Believe I Can See the Future
Bella Swan and Alice Cullen
by: Setsuna Revolution
The lonliness set in hard today-harder than usual. I've gotten really good at hiding these feelings that constantly rip me apart with each passing moment that he's not here with me. I miss him, so much so, that I'm surprised that I can even function-at all. Surprised, the hole in my heart hasn't spread further and further through my body until it finally swallows me whole and I never recover.
I don't think I will, the pain is so unbearable. No one understands either. I can't tell Charlie because he would say that it was for the best, I'll move on to better people-I'm still young...this is what he thinks in his own twisted world. I wonder how long it took him to take his life back and regain his sense of self after Renee broke his heart-definitely something we will never discuss.
Charlie pushes me to get a life, even though it feels like my life is gone. Well, feel is a strong word, I haven't actually been able to feel anything since the day he left, leaving his wonderful scent in the wind and the memory of his cold lips against mine. I try not to remember, but there is only so much you can do to keep your mind off things,there are just not enough distractions. My latest distraction, Jacob Black, is almost enough. He's so much like a brother to me, so nice, so cheerful. I love him, but there's still something missing, something I can't quite grasp.
After an uneventful day and the same boring routine of: wake up, go to school, go to work, fix dinner and go to sleep, I finally reach the worst part: sleep. I always have the same sort of nightmare, but I hope for a dreamless night, as I turn down the covers of my nicely made bed and curl into a ball under my warm blankets. If only I could be so lucky...
I'm being pulled into the darkness. Deep and far,and I can't see. Do I even want to see? I need open my eyes, but I won't allow myself. This is not an ordinary nightmare. My ordinary nightmares consist of the memories of the fateful fight with James over six months ago and of course, the day he left me to my now plain and pitiful existence. I know I'm tossing and turning, Charlie can probably hear my screams. I thrash around some more, grabbing the pillow and pressing it strong against my already sweaty face. I can't stand the darkness any longer. I'm so far in that my muffled screams can't bring me back.
My heart starts aching, suddenly it's cold, very cold and bright. I'm floating in our meadow. It's not pretty, all the flowers are dead, the grass overgrown, and there are no animals. 'It's a depressing sight,' I think, as the meadow flies behind me, gone to darkness of the forests. I'm flying really fast, with the trees speeding past me. Reminds me of other times.
Now, I see his house coming into view. The beautiful, old-timey, shaded house in the woods. Suddenly I'm at the front door, breathless. Tears streaming from my eyes, I think I know what's on the other side, and I open the door in anticipation of the awaiting vacantness. I expect: covered furniture, a dully lit room, and a settling cloud of dust; but, to my surprise, it was very bright and there they stood, all of them...my family.
Emmett and his overly masculine appearance, Rosalie and her absolute perfect beauty...suddenly I realized what had been missing...Carlisle and Esme and their happiness that I truly envy. Jasper, Edward...and...even Alice with her short, raven hair and overly excited demeanor. Oh, how I miss her the most. I wait for someone to speak.
I wait, for any of the beautiful creatures standing in front of me to make a move, to say something, hell, I would be fine if one of them attacked me again-just like the time with Jasper on my birthday. There's nothing though, nobody moves, the only sound is my heavy breathing engulfing the room full of statues. I think the hole, where my heart once resided, just grew even bigger. Then I realized what it is that's missing...my family...the only full family I've ever really known...the Cullens.
As I stand here, staring at each and every one of them, I realize that I miss them and all their qualities and their ability to care about me, even though I'm not like them. Strangely enough, instead of my dream self facing Edward, she's facing Alice, mainly because she's the only one with some kind of movement. I seem to miss her unusual cheeriness the most.
Suddenly, I feel myself being dragged back to reality, the dream coming to a close. I don't want this bit of happiness to leave me, too. Before reality claims me, my eyes lock with her familiar golden eyes. I notice her beautiful, sculpted face forming a perfect grin, her raven-colored hair, even how much shorter she is than the rest of them. I see her cross her arms in front of her chest and I swear I hear her laugh before I finally come to.
I awake with a start, jumping straight into a sitting position on my comfy bed, confused, with Alice still fresh in my mind. Soon, I'll forget this unusually pleasant dream I'm sure. I clutch my sides, pulling my arms closer in around me, holding my heart before it pours out in the bits and pieces. What a mess. The tears start to fall, heavier now.
All I can do is cry, until sleep overpowers my mind again. Night will become another day though. Another day without her...him...any of them. I like to think it will be different, but the time for being pleasantly surprised has long since past. I wish I could see the future, like Alice...then again, what's a future without the Cullens.
I believe if I could see the future, it would be nothing. Simply nothing. I can't justify these feelings now, maybe one day I could learn to move past them, but I know deep inside that day will never come. And that's probably why I don't see the future like Alice.
Edward...Alice...I love you both, always, but I'm starting to wonder, how much can one person take?
After all, I'm only human...
A/N: I know it's a short chapter. I also don't usually do 1st person point of view stories. Bella is really depressing sometimes. I hope it gave ya'll a feel of where I'm going with it. I promise to update soon, we'll do some more fun things with this couple and it will pick up. Bella will see a Cullen before she breaks. Reviews are much appreciated. Please and thanks.