Okay this is also listed as the first chapter for Until the World Dies. If you read it there...no need to read it here. If you like it check out the other story and add it to your alert.
Until the World Dies
About two weeks after Dean dies…
Sam drank. He drank to forget and so he wouldn't remember. He drank to avoid feeling anything. He'd tried the crossroads demon, they wouldn't deal, no one would talk to him, help him. He didn't even want a deal, just to trade places with Dean.
His phone rang again and he didn't answer it. He knew it was either Bobby or Kate. He didn't want to talk to either of them. He'd spent some time with Bobby, but after they'd buried Dean, well he'd started to feel smothered. Kate, he went to see her right after he left Bobby. He spent time with her, but realized he was pulling her down, and taking a lot out of her. After two days in Colorado, he left.
They had talked a couple of times after that, but he couldn't do it anymore. Talking to her hurt, she was so sweet to him and he didn't want sweet. He wanted to wallow in his hurt. He wanted to feel punished. He hadn't answered her calls in almost two weeks, his hand drifted to the leather bag still hanging around his neck. It hung there, Dean's amulet safe inside now, and he wished it would do its job; actually make him feel safe.
He titled back the bottle of Jack and frowned when nothing poured into his mouth. He looked at it, a little cross-eyed, and then hurled it at the side of the building with a curse. He wasn't numb enough to stop drinking, but he wasn't sober enough to do anything more about it. He glanced to his knuckles. They were covered in blood, he was pretty sure one was broken. It hurt, he didn't care.
He hadn't been hunting, only trying to find away to bring Dean back. It was killing him and he knew it. He was okay with that too. He didn't deserve to live, not if Dean was gone…he just didn't deserve it. He failed his brother and it broke his heart.
He spent his time drinking, working out and fighting, in fact, he'd been fighting pretty regularly. He fought all comers; he fought four or five guys at a time. He didn't care when he got hurt. He liked it, the physical pain somehow burying the emotional pain. He pushed himself off the side of the car, glancing back at her smooth, dark shape with a frown. He trailed a hand over the hood and down the line of the trunk. She reminded him of Dean and the knife twisted in his heart once more as he moved toward his room.
"Sorry Dean…so fuckin sorry, man… I couldn't save you, we couldn't do it…were close, but couldn't do it…can't do it now…" He stumbled and staggered up the stairs, like a pinball through the hall. It would be the same tonight. Pass out on the bed or the couch, sleep, wake, and then vomit. He'd run then, work up a sweat and force all the alcohol from his blood. Then he'd punish himself with push-ups, chin-ups and sit-ups until he could barely move. As soon as it was late enough he'd be drinking again.
He pushed the door closed behind him and then realized that tonight wasn't the same. This was the night he was ambushed. He looked her in the eye and prayed she would do it. He wanted it to end, but it was Ruby, she saved him and things changed…so many things changed.
Logan spun and the machete sunk deep into the vampire's neck. The vampire fell, hurt but not dead. The knife stuck halfway in his neck. She laughed morbidly. It always amazed her how people thought it was easy to behead someone. Even fully sharpened, if you didn't strike with the knife blade perpendicular to the neck, or it slammed into one of the vertebra the blade would stick. She pressed her foot into the thing's chest and yanked back hard, to dislodge the blade.
The being struggled, pushed at her foot as it lay there bleeding on the dirty floor. She smiled, lifted the knife and struck once and then again before the head lolled free. She stood over the body, panting, her eyes glazed over with anger. The thing had killed an entire family of five, including the nine-month-old baby girl. She kicked the head and it spun away into the shadows.
Blood clung to her, some on her face and arms. She knew she didn't have any open cuts. She was careful. She moved out of the dilapidated house, found the kerosene in her trunk and then burned the place down.
As the house burned, she sat in the car, head resting heavy on the steering wheel as she watched the flames. She didn't stop the tears. This was when the emotion caught up to her. Out of habit, she tucked hair behind her ear. She knew it needed cut and she made a note to do it soon. She sighed and started the car. She already had her next hunt lined up, and the next, and the one after that. She didn't plan on stopping until something out there made her stop.
She fumbled on the seat beside her until she found the phone. Five missed calls, two voicemails and several text messages. She knew Sam was alive. He would text her from time to time, and she'd text back. Neither of them gave any info on location. Sam's always said, "drnk n brethn," and she'd always send back, "Stll hnting". Bobby would call and she'd text him back, she refused to speak to him. He begged her too though.
Ignoring the text messages for now, she dialed voicemail and hit the speaker button. The first call was Bobby.
"Checking in on you Logan and I'd wish you'd call me. I'm worried about you and Sam too. You heard from him yet, cause I still haven't. Don't rightly know if he's alive or dead. If you're not gonna call, please send me a message, girl. I really want to see, Logan. Miss you and I love you. Stay safe."
She hit the key to delete and let the second message play.
"Hey Logan, just wanted to tell you I already miss you. Take care of yourself baby and watch out for my little brother will you, oh and Bobby too. That old man needs someone to check in on him every once in awhile. Just stay safe and remember everything I said, baby…everything." There was a pause, a hitching sob and then. "Okay, you understand? Bye, Logan."
A small sob passed her lips and she wiped at her eyes as the voicemail scrolled through her options. She didn't listen; she knew by heart what key to hit to "Save to Inbox". She saved the voicemail and sent a text to Bobby. Just let him know she was alive and what she'd done. She knew he'd track her, but she'd be two states away before he got close. She let the phone drop to the seat and put the car in gear. She was tired and the GPS told her she had one hundred odd miles to go before she could rest.
Rob Zombie's, Living Dead Girl blared through the speakers, she shifted and spun the tires out in the gravel as she headed toward her next hunt.
Bobby put the empty bottle on the table, sliding aside four or five others in the way. He felt so old, older than he had in years. He wiped a hand over his face and grabbed another bottle from the wooden crate on the kitchen floor before moving back to the living room. He settled down in front of the computer and typed in he information Logan had texted him, looking for a clue to where she was. It didn't take him long to find the story of a family of five slaughtered in their home. She was in Montana, but he knew that by now she was already moving on. Where, he had no idea.
He hadn't heard from Sam in a long time, though a few weeks ago, Logan had told him that she'd gotten a text from him. Bobby had faith the boy was still alive. He had to hold onto that, because if he didn't he'd break. John, Dean and Sam…it would be too much and he knew it. He sighed and slumped into the hard wood chair. He opened the liquor bottle and drank. He knew there wasn't enough alcohol to numb the pain in his heart, but it did help him not care, even if it was only for an hour or two.
He'd been on the phone with Kate earlier. She was scared and worried. Sam wouldn't answer and he wouldn't call. He drank more and closed his eyes. He'd told her that Logan got a message from him a few weeks ago, but that no one had heard anything since. He'd promised to call her if he heard anything and then he asked if she'd heard from Logan. She hadn't. They had said goodbye.
Bobby went back to researching his next hunt.
Taylor Swift's Tim McGraw played on the jukebox and Kate sighed, flipped the phone closed and slipped it into her pocket. She leaned forward; both elbows resting on the bar and let her head hang. She was hurt and angry, but she also understood. She knew what it was like to lose the last of your family and feel alone in the world. She just wished she could be there to help. According to Bobby, Sam had just disappeared after Dean died. Logan was off hunting and while she hadn't called, she at least texted him.
Right after Dean died; Sam had come to see her. He only spent two days with her. They'd holed up in her apartment, mostly in her bed. She let him grieve, knew he needed it. He hadn't said much, but he'd cried and he'd been angry. They'd even fought some, but he'd left on decent terms, still hurting and in Kate's opinion, broken.
A glass of white wine appeared beside her hand and she smiled.
"Anytime Katie…anytime," he shoved her shoulder as he claimed the stool beside her. "Still not taking your calls, huh?"
She looked up and shifted her head in his direction. "Nope, talked to Bobby and he said Logan gets a text from him every once in awhile. Just enough of a message to let her know he's alive."
Ryan frowned and drank his beer as he watched the girl beside him. He sighed, "Kate, I'm really sorry."
She smiled and picked up the wine glass. "For what?"
"That you're hurting." He played with the label on his beer bottle. "I know how much you like him."
She rolled her eyes and snorted. "Hey, I like him, but it's not like we had anything more than a really hot week or so." She sipped her wine, letting it roll on her tongue before she swallowed. "I just kinda hoped that there might be something more."
"Yeah, it's really sad about Dean and all. He was a great guy, I liked both those boys." He took a long drink from his bottle. "You heard from Logan at all?"
"No, she won't answer either." She sighed. "She's really hurting too, she loved him."
"I know." He rolled his shoulders and finished his beer. "You gonna spend the night at my place again or you want me to crash with you?"
"Your place tonight." She swallowed, there were memories at her place, and she wasn't in the mood to deal with them right now. "What you got to watch?"
Ryan smiled and slid his beer bottle across the bar, catching it with one hand and then pushing back to his other hand. "Well, are you in the mood for some sexy Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson, because I have Fool's Gold. " He held up a hand, "I know it's not award winning cinema and all, but dirty-sexy McConaughey can make up for a multitude of sins." He waggled his eyebrows at her and winked.
She giggled and finished off her wine. She stood and straitened her t-shirt. She grabbed Ryan's hand and pulled him from his stool as she slipped an arm around his waist. She sighed when he draped an arm over her shoulder. "You know, it's a good thing we agree on our choice of men." She slapped his ass. "Don't you think Kate Hudson's a little hot, though?"
Ryan gasped and slapped a hand over his heart as he pulled back a little and stared at her in shock. "Oh, pahleeze…" He cocked his head and waved a finger at her as he lisped his next lines. "I'm a gay man, honey…I'm not into you girls."
She rolled her eyes, "Oh, for heaven sake, Ryan. You like men, but I've know you like women too, so cut it out." She shoved his chest, "And don't go all flamer on me now. You're my best friend and I refuse be classified as a fag hag."
He laughed and pulled her against him in a big hug, before he bent her over his arm and kissed her soundly on the lips. He straitened them up and pulled back, just keeping his arm over her shoulder. "I'm just waiting for you to realize that I'm the man of your dreams baby." He herded her toward the door. "Besides, I'd defend your honor to my grave."
She smiled, willing to pretend, for now at least, that she wasn't missing and terribly worried about Sam. "Let's go drool over McConaughey, then."
Note: Okay, thanks for reading and for everyone who read ALL the way through Sparring Sessions. I hope you enjoy the start. Just setting the scene. The first parts of this story are going to focus alot on Sam and the others and what was going on while Dean was in hell. We'll get a peek at Dean too, but not quite yet.
You know the muse is picky and she likes to hear from you, so bring it on. The good and the bad. The action will start soon....