Disclaimer: Caution: Speaking to, looking at, or even thinking of Tingle for extended periods of time can cause irreparable physical and emotional damage. In clinical tests, prolonged exposure to Tingle has been shown to cause cancer. Read at your own risk.

AN: Aye, so I was playing Windwaker again and decided to write a few things from that game's storyline since I had ideas and since I haven't done anything from there yet. Oddly enough, I really dislike Tingle. Funny, isn't it then, that I should write all these drabbles about him?

Danse Macabre

"Tingle! Tingle!"

Link stared, transfixed by horror and disbelief, as the paunchy man began to prance and throw shining confetti. He could hardly believe his eyes. Surely this wasn't a genuine cartographical technique...


The worst part, as if having glitter thrown at you and being forced to watch Tingle dance wasn't torture enough, was that the fairy-seeker's bodysuit was skintight. Link had to work hard to keep the blue potion he drank for lunch in his stomach where it belonged.

"Become... READABLE!"

Finally able to tear his eyes away from the horrific sight, Link noticed the Triforce Chart that Tingle handed back to him had, well, become readable. It was amazing, every indistinguishable design and rune that graced the square of parchment before Tingle did his stuff was rearranged into a recognizable, serviceable map. Absolutely fantastic! Now he could locate the first shard of the Triforce and continue in his quest.

Link was happy to have the chart, but there was just one little detail that made him sour about the whole deal. After seeing Tingle work, after learning exactly what his method was, Link had to wonder. If that was all it took- Just a few handfuls of glitter, some magic words, and a back flip- Then why was he paying Tingle three hundred and ninety-eight rupees for each chart he deciphered?!

AN: Think about it, really. Tingle is a greedy, greedy little sot.