Mkay. I saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and the next day I saw Silence in the Library, and the Doctor's comment about archeologists just sprung to my mind.
You have to have seen the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull to get this. Really.
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who or Indiana Jones.
Dedication: Caitlin. For joining my fan club.
Four people stood on top of what appeared to be a large rock.
A loud whirring noise came from behind them, with a lot of wind.
Indiana Jones turned around.
"What is that?" said Mutt, stepping back, almost off and down into the jungle.
A blue police public call box had appeared in the brush and rocks behind them, which was apparently where the sounds and wind had come from.
Indiana took a step closer.
"Of all the things that I've seen….I've never seen anything like this!"
The door opened with a creek. A man with a blue suit and really messy hair stepped out.
He sniffed the air.
"Oh, oh, oh! That's horrible! That just has to be exhaust fumes from some sort of aliens. Ugh! And the taste in my mouth, do you ever get this taste? It's half metal and half rusty and just...blech! But more importantly, why am I here if the spaceship's gone already?" the man looked expectantly at the group of people.
"Who exactly are you?" said a very dirty, smelly old man.
"I'm the Doctor. And I'm afraid that all of you are in very grave, urgent danger," he said seriously, " and we should probably get out of here pretty quickly. Want a ride?"
Mary stepped forward.
"What? How are we in danger? Who are you?" she said, reminiscent of Donna.
"Well, judging from the taste -- and smell -- of those fumes, you will probably die from all this radiation in, say, 35 minutes? So, I'd suggest you come with me and I'll fix that. Right. And, like I said, I'm the Doctor."
They all found themselves being pushed inside the Doctor's blue box.
"It's bigger on the inside! Cool!"
The Doctor looked at the kid who'd said that. "Who are you, sorry? Didn't ask, was I being rude?"
The man with the hat pushed forward. "I'm Indiana Jones, and --" he continued introducing the rest of them.
"Could you please explain what we're doing here?" said Mutt.
"I told you! The radiation, Mutt! It is Mutt, right? Nice name, I suppose. Did you come up with it yourself? I did! Although," said the Doctor, flipping a couple of switches on the console, "I did have a friend who made a bad choice. Obsessed with ruling the world. Called himself the Ma-AH HA!"
Green particles were gathering in an orb at the center of the room.
"What is that?" said Indiana.
"It's the radiation, gathering in the center. It soaks into the skin in maybe 40 minutes, and disables any organs it touches. Very nasty, but a common and cheap type of transportation."
"You mean those aliens were using a type of spaceship that they knew would hurt us, yet they were trying to help us?"
"Simple miscalculation of the dominant species' internal structure," he sniffed.
The Doctor was rewarded for his brilliance with a bunch of blank looks.
"You were on top of an ancient temple, where do aliens fit into this?" he asked them.
"I'm an archeologist, and --"
The Doctor froze.
"Oh. Stop right there."
"I don't like archeologists. I'm a time traveler! It's like, 'You want to go back into the past and see the pyramids being made? Oh-Kay! Now, let's go have a chat with the Aztecs! Isn't that a lovely vase from Yayoi Period of Japan?' Archaeology is pointless!"
"I've spent my entire life recovering artifacts for those without a time machine, Doctor," Indiana said gruffly.
The Doctor raised a finger, pointing at the man in front of him, with a serious look on his face.
And that serious look erupted into a smile.
Trust me, that group left the TARDIS as quickly as they could, and never spoke of it again.
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No, wait, reverse psychology: Whatever you do DON'T review. Even if you think the world may end because of it, even if reviewing will bring whichever character you wish back to Doctor Who after their abandonment/death/being trapped in a parallel universe/leaving/forgetting/extermination, just don't review.
You know you DON'T want to!! ;)