He was insanely tired. Not that drowsy feeling of needing to sleep for a very long time, physically spent. But mentally worn out. Talking with Rukia always wore him out, left him wanting to do nothing but shout and rage. Which he was close to doing, as well as throwing Rukia out of his house.

Didn't she get that he wasn't going to change? If she had a problem with his being gay, then why was she his friend anymore? His anger bubbled close to boiling point before he reined in his explosion. He stopped himself from sighing in exasperation, pretending to nod and listen as Rukia forcibly tried to grind it into his mind that Shiro wasn't good for him.

As if Rukia knew anything. Shiro had been the best damn thing that ever happened to him, he knew that for sure.

Of course, normally, relationships with really hot, slightly fickle men who you met while completely drunk (and high) at a party didn't normally work out. And he wasn't about to say something as stupid as Shiro was 'the one'. But, the lecherous albino had pulled through numerous times, saved his ass, and was allowed to call him strawberry. All before dinner time too.

And he was good for Shiro, definitely. Had they not meant, the ex-party boy probably would have been found raped and dead in some random alley. He subconsciously shivered at the thought. He never liked thinking about his life if Shiro was not in it, as sappy as that seemed.

When Rukia quirked an eyebrow at him, he sent her a swift smile, apologizing as he excused himself.

He was so very tired. And angry, and jumpy. He felt a whole slew of emotions that sent him reeling. He knew exactly what could fix him.

His pink tongue darted out to touch his dry lips. He felt ashamed, but he still needed it. Shiro had managed to quit club drugs. But that was because he had never much used any form of drugs in the first place. He himself hadn't really been in on the party scene. But when he'd been introduced to Speed and E, he couldn't get enough.

Though Shiro had managed to wean him off of E, Speed was still his secret shame. He couldn't really justify it. There was no way to. He had promised Shiro he'd stop, but couldn't. Though, he'd never truly tried. He simply knew he couldn't. And it was both shameful and unforgivable. But what Shiro never knew would never hurt him.

He often caught his lover's suspicious smirking glances when he slept more than normally or simply couldn't sleep at all. But what could he do? He was still an addict. Still.

He remembered the last time he'd tried to go without Speed without Shiro's supervision. It had been a horrible nightmarish experience of taking more and more drugs just to get over being without a fix for so long.

He entered his shared bedroom, pulling open the drawer of his bedside table. He searched through. "Where is it, where is it?" he hissed. There was nothing but a few rosaries, a flashlight for black outs, pictures of his family and a horror book he'd borrowed from the library that week. No sign of his drugs anywhere.

"Looking for these?" Shiro whispered from where he stood, leaning on the door frame and holding his small bag of speed, looking every bit the sexy god that he was. And though he was sure that angry sex with Shiro would give him the same feelings as snorting Speed, it didn't change the fact that he wanted it.


He went to Shiro, reaching for the bag as his lover held it over his head. "Give it." he ordered, his voice dangerously low in the way that meant he was not joking. Shiro just smirked smugly and wrapped his free arm around his waist, pulling them closer together. He almost gave up on reaching for the bag as he melted in Shiro's strong arms. But that's what the pervert wanted. "Shiro, give it!" the albino didn't answer instead pressed them closer together, grinding his hips carnally. He let out a soft excited gasp.

"Are you saying I don't excite you enough, Ichi?" Shiro whispered lustfully, though his gold eyes were shining were anger and malevolent intent. "Are you saying I don't make you feel good enough? I Don't fuck you hard enough, don't make you scream loud enough, don't touch you hot enough? Is my kiss not good enough for you, Ichi? That's why you need these?" Shiro shook the pills, raising his eyebrow in rage covered over with questioning amusement. he shuddered, curling slightly in defeat. He loved it when Shiro used that voice.

"You know that's not what I'm saying, idiot." he managed to say, heat pooling in his stomach as Shiro continued to grind them together. "We shouldn't be doing this... Rukia's in the living room..."

"Fuck her. She already knows you're gay." Shiro brought them together for a kiss. He happily let in Shiro's tongue, letting it tangle with his own. The albino tasted faintly of sweet blue raspberry, which made him wonder if he'd been eating candy. Dazedly, he pulled the door closed, and let Shiro lower him onto the floor. He moaned as a pale hand grasped the bulge forming in his pants. Shiro's hot mouth latched onto his neck and his hips resumed the fast grinding pace, rutting against his willing body. He raised his hips to get more friction.

Angry sex with Shiro was million times better than any drug

he reached up to take off Shiro's sweater, but his wrists were held down. "Fucking tease!" he hissed, straining against Shiro's hand so he could get a feel of the smooth skin underneath those clothes. He moaned as Shiro went faster.

"I'll give you the full show later, after that prissy little friend of yours is gone."

They were both panting now. His face was flushed and hot and yes! He was so damn close! Just a little bit more. "Shiro!" he cried. He was so very close. Just a little closer. His control slipped and moans burst unbidden from his throat. "Yes, shiro! Haa, harder!" he could hear Shiro's soft grunts in his ear. It just made him want it more. His back arched painfully as he came, spilling semen in side his pants, crying out Shiro's name.

The albino rutted a few more times, coming as well. He rolled them onto their sides. "Where did you get these?" Shiro asked, and he realized he meant the drugs.

"I've had them for a while..." he admitted quietly, looking away from Shiro's still slightly flushed face. Shiro smiled darkly.

"You told me you threw them a away." he winced, expecting angry yelling. Instead, Shiro sighed and wrapped his arms tighter around his shoulders. "From now on, I'm your drug. You'll get addicted to only me." he nodded, smiling slightly.


Speed, he could get over. But even after a hundred years of trying, he'd still be addicted to Shiro. Still.


woo! Off to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. For the fifth time. Review please!