Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the song Right Here by Stained
Warning: Implied yaoi
a/N this is my first song fic so tell me what you think.
'. . ' thoughts
". . ." spoken
I know I've been mistaken, but just give me a break and see the changes that I've made.
Kakashi frowned slightly, thankful his mask would hide his melancholy expression. He shoved his hands into his pockets as he walked, trying to ignore Iruka's gaze burning into his back. He flinched imperceptibly when he heard the tanned ninja sigh sadly. He wanted nothing more then to turn around and hold the younger nin, apologizing profusely for hurting him, but he couldn't. If he did his plan would never work.
Kakashi had felt a part of himself die that day Iruka came to him telling him of his brand new jounin status. Sure he'd told the scarred school teacher that he was wasting his talent training snot nosed kids, but he hadn't expected his words to be taken so seriously, not when Iruka seemed so happy the way he was. As selfish as he could be Kakashi cared about Iruka, he could almost say he loved him, and he couldn't stand the thought of Iruka going through the same shit he did. Not his innocent Iruka.
So the great Copy Ninja had developed a plan. If he could make Iruka utterly miserable the tanned nin would go back to his old life and Kakashi could spy on him as he taught and know when he left on missions that Iruka was safe. "It's foolproof. It will work," he said quietly enforcing his confidence in the scheme and his own genius.
I've got some imperfections, but how can you collect them all and throw them in my face.
Kakashi could feel Obito's eye start to weep as his own gray one started to sting. He couldn't help himself, seeing Iruka's broken expression had hurt him especially since he was the one who'd hurt the tanned ninja. Kakashi had to do it though. He'd slipped up the day before, had talked to Iruka and laughed with him even. The Copy Nin couldn't stop himself, he wanted so badly to spend time with the smaller ninja. It had all come crashing down though when he'd seen the flicker of hope in Iruka's dark eyes.
He'd corrected his mistake as harshly as he could, barging in on the small jounin in his own home, digging his hateful words into Iruka's soft heart, tearing open old wounds as cruely as he could. He'd succeeded and he'd run away unable to stand the hurt and betrayal on Iruka's face.
But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting. You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting. And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting. Searching for the words to say to keep you right here waiting.
Kakashi shivered in the dark but it wasn't from the cold. He sat still and silent watching through Iruka's kitchen window as the tanned ninja started to crumble. It made Kakashi's heart hurt, watching the man he loved in so much pain. His resolve nearly broke when he heard the younger ninja's muffled sobs. He stayed until the end though, watching Iruka cry until he finally had no tears left and went to bed. Then the Copy Nin went home to lay awake staring into the dark wondering if his chest would ever stop aching
I hope you're not intending to be so condescending. It's as much as I can take.
Kakashi lounged lazily against the wall zoning out and letting the sounds of a busy mission room soothe him. He'd only just returned from a week long mission and as much as he hated to admit it he needed to be around human beings who weren't trying to kill him. So rather then going to the bar to get shit faced he came to the mission room and pretended to be bored out of his mind. If he was lucky he might even catch a glimpse of Iruka. He'd been watching the tanned nin for a months now, still working to keep his plan in motion, hoping that Iruka would quit before he destroyed himself.
It wasn't working though. The plan, the hope, none of it worked. Kakashi wanted so badly to give up , but he couldn't, he wouldn't accept his sweet former academy sensei was swiftly becoming a jaded crazy ass semi-suicidal jounin. He was a genius, the plan would work. A sudden hush made him pay attention, his dull gaze clearing, the page of Icha Icha before him coming into sharp focus. Kakashi watched Iruka push his way into the mission room commanding more presence then his small frame should have allowed. His tanned face was hard and closed off, but Kakashi could see the lines of exhaustion clear as day.
He watched Iruka closely the fine hairs on his arms prickling in the tense atmosphere as the tanned jounin pushed his way to the missions desk. Kakashi couldn't help but notice the near imperceptible wince when Iruka looked at the chunin behind the desk. 'He's so unhappy. Why doesn't he just go back to the academy? Why?' Kakashi thought in annoyance. He tensed when the room somehow became quieter.
"What?" Iruka snapped to whoever had spoken. His back was turned to most of the room and Kakashi could see the tension in his shoulders.
"What are you doing? You just got back from a mission." one of his many friends asked quietly. Iruka merely grunted in response before continuing to walk away. Kakashi couldn't take it. Everyone was treating his precious Iruka like an explosive tag set to burst.
'It shouldn't be this way,' he thought as he grabbed Iruka's shoulder before he could leave. The tanned ninja jerked quickly out of his grasp and spun to face him. They watched each other for a second and the strangest look came over Iruka's face, but Kakashi ignored it and kept his face black. He voiced his concern carefully so the former chunin wouldn't catch on. "Maybe you should take a break Iruka."
"I'm fine Kakashi-san," Iruka rasped. Kakashi wanted to wince when he heard how tore up Iruka's throat sounded.
'My poor Iruka,' he thought he chest clenching. "No Iruka, you are far from fine," he said firmly expecting the younger ninja to see sense and back down.
"I don't believe it's any of your concern Hatake-san," Iruka growled, surprising Kakashi.
'I can't believe this, he's about to collapse from exhaustion, his throat sounds like he's been eating sand paper, and he looks like he's lost ten pounds but he's still going to pick a fight with me. Stubborn asshole,' Kakashi thought his mouth a grim line. He hid the look well behind his mask and replied in frustration as he pretended to read Icha Icha. "I merely worry that your incompetence could lead to a mission failure that could damage the reputation of this village, not to mention endanger you comrades."
"My incompetence?" Iruka growled his voice strained, his face growing red as his temper rose. "I'll have you know I have never failed a mission as a jounin nor put my comrades in danger of any kind, so keep your half ass concern to yourself!" the tanned jounin practically yelled his voice cracking painfully and his eyes narrowed into hateful slits.
Kakashi couldn't stand it. That was a look that should never been seen on the beautiful face of his Iruka. It pissed him off and before he could stop himself he hit Iruka, his lovely Iruka. The tanned chunin looked stunned as he rubbed the side of his face. Everyone was staring so Kakashi said the only thing he could think of. "Don't get too cocky Iruka or you might get hurt."
And you're so independent you just refuse to bend so I keep bending till I break.
"Why should I apologize, he punched me!" Iruka hissed hands fisted in frustration.
"Because I won't do it. What's the big deal, aren't you suppose to be the bigger man," Kakashi said tiredly from behind his book. He just wanted to get this over so he wouldn't have to look at Iruka or the huge bruise from where he'd punched him. The guilt was already enough to make his sick. He stared forcefully at the pages before him as the tension around him grew. He barely held back his sigh of relief when Iruka finally bowed before him.
"I apologize for my earlier behavior Hatake-san. It was unfitting for one in my position." Iruka said coldly bowing low at the waist. He straightened quickly and turned towards Tsunada. "Is that all?" he asked, his honey eyes burning holes in the floor.
"You may go," she said tiredly.
Iruka nodded sharply, but Kakashi barely noticed. 'Just once,' he thought as he reached out lightly touching the smaller ninja's head. Iruka whipped around snarling before he stalked off. Kakashi flinched as the door slammed shut.
"Dammit Kakashi, I'm getting tired of this," Tsunada said stiffly as she rubbed her furrowed brows in an attempt to stave off a growing headache. "I don't know what scheme you have going on in that head of yours, but I'm tired of seeing one of the best ninja in this village fall apart because of you. I'm going to say this once only, LEAVE IRUKA UMINO ALONE!!" Tsunada shouted her face growing red.
"I can't," Kakashi said simply meeting her hateful glare head on.
"And why not," she snarled her hands tightening into fists.
'Because he shouldn't be a jounin, because he's too beautiful to be covered in blood, because he's sweet and precious, because I love him,' Kakashi thought. The list was endless, but he merely shrugged unwilling to give up his secret. "Can I go now," he asked flatly his hands in his pockets.
Tsunada clenched her fists even tighter as she tried to calm down and not throw her entire desk at the infuriating jounin. "Get out!"
But you always find a way to keep my right here waiting. Always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting. If you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting, searching for the thing to say to keep you right here waiting.
"Because I love him," Iruka whispered head down.
"You love Kakashi?" Jiraiya asked in surprise.
"Yeah, I tried not to. I tried so hard, but I love him," Iruka whispered as he walked away.
Kakashi was frozen his back against the wall as he stood in the shadows and listened to Iruka's confession. Iruka loved him, after all that had happened he still loved him.
"You know brat if you don't stop this idiotic game of yours you are going to kill him," Jiriaya told him bluntly before also walking away, leaving Kakashi alone.
I've made a commitment.
Kakashi fought to hold back a cry of pain as a sword slash across his chest bring up a line of thick blood. 'Dammit! Focus!' he screamed at himself. He'd been watching Iruka again trying to make sure the tanned ninja was safe and now he was injured and running out of time.
He couldn't help it though. After the fight in Tsunada's office he'd followed both her and Jiraiya's advice and left Iruka alone. He'd followed the smaller ninja's own habit and started taking every mission he could get his hands on so he could stay away from the village as much as possible. Then a day ago Tsunada had informed him that he would be taking a group to hunt down some missing nin and Iruka would be with them. The whole mission he'd constantly looked over his shoulder his eyes focused on Iruka determined to keep him safe and alive and now he'd gotten himself in trouble.
Kakashi jumped back as the Sound ninja slashed at him again pushing him back. He felt lighted headed as he dodged again, he was bleeding out way to quickly and he couldn't help but damn the amount of energy the Sharingan was draining from him. He gasped as he leg gave out. The Sound nin grinned as he ran toward Kakashi determined to take out the weakened ninja.
I'm willing to bleed for you.
He barely heard the shout but he felt the hot spray of blood that splattered his mask. He couldn't believe his eyes. Iruka's back was to him and Kakashi could see the glint of steel poking out, he flinched when he heard the heavy thud of a body and Iruka's wet cough.
Iruka had taken the strike meant for him. His sweet Iruka had saved him, and now. . .
"Iruka, what the hell," Kakashi couldn't help but gasp as he climbed to his feet. He felt sick when he saw the blood pouring out around the sword buried so close the Iruka's heart.
I needed fulfillment. I found what I need in you.
"Iruka, why?" he begged as he tried not to sob. His hands were shaking and he knew he needed to help the bleeding ninja, but he didn't know what to do. His mind was blank. He couldn't stop himself from crying when Iruka collapsed.
"Couldn't let you die Kakashi-san. It wouldn't do for Konoha to lose her best ninja. Besides, I love you jerk ass," Iruka said softly.
Kakashi wanted to scream at him for being a fool, for not realizing that he was nothing with out Iruka.
Why can't you just forgive me? I don't want to relive all the mistakes I've made along the way.
"You damn idiot, how could you do this? How could you?" Kakashi hissed holding Iruka tenderly. He couldn't help the tears that dripped off his chin and on to Iruka's forehead.
"D. . . don't be an. . . angry Kakashi-san I. . . I'm sorry," Iruka stammered, shivering his eyes glazing over as death approached.
But I always find a way to keep you right here waiting. I always find the words to say to keep you right here waiting.
"Please Iruka, I love you. I'm sorry I pushed you away, I was scared. Please Iruka stay with me. Stay."
But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting. You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting. And if I chose to walk away you'd still be right here waiting, searching for the words to say to keep me right here waiting.
Iruka hummed softly as he walked the empty path toward the memorial stone and thought back to the first day he had awoken in the hospital. He'd asked everyone about Kakashi, but they had all simply shushed him and refused to answer. He assumed the worst and at the first chance escaped from the hospital and some how managed to drag himself to the memorial stone without passing out from blood loss. He figured that if he was going to die, he wanted to die near Kakashi.
Kakashi was at the memorial stone that morning, but he was there only because Tsunada had thrown him from Iruka's room when she found out the smaller ninja had almost died to save him. The memorial stone was the only other place he knew to go where he could stay sane until he found out if Iruka would live. He almost died when he saw the tanned jounin staggering up the path moments later. He'd grabbed Iruka and sprinted him back to the hospital yelling at him every step of the way. He refused to leave his side after that.
Iruka laughed lightly enjoying the warm day. He stopped at the edge of the clearing watching the lazy jounin for a few moments.
"You should be more careful about spacing out. Some ninja could come and ravage you." he called happily. He smiled brightly when Kakashi turned to look at him.
"Are you implying that you wish to ravage me Iruka?" the silver headed ninja asked smoothly, his visible eye curving in a pseudo smile.
Iruka blushed and looked away. "Maybe, maybe not. You'll never find out if you stay here all day," Iruka replied as he turned back towards the village. "Come on love," he called.
He smiled even brighter when he felt more then heard Kakashi follow him.