Watson had not realized how far the field of medicine had advanced until he dug his pre-natal textbooks out of a trunk in his room and leafed through them. He did not specialize in females, let alone pregnancies, but even he knew many of the details were outdated.
Holmes was just awaking from a long nap when he returned, a stack of texts in his arms which he dumped upon the table.
"The first rule is this," he spoke without having to read up on the latest opinions. "No cocaine or its ilk, no tobacco, no alcohol."
The detective spluttered, about to reject this demanded when he was cut off.
"I have observed many babies, Holmes, and I have colleagues who have observed many more. These are significant risk factors, and this seems to be a high-risk pregnancy from the very start. The second rule is that you will maintain proper eating and sleeping habits. I plan to tell Mrs. Hudson when she returns from her errands, and when I am not home you can expect her to be enforcing these rules."
He grumbled, of course, but there was no way he could resist this. He knew from his church lessons as a boy that extramarital copulation was a sin, but he had not expected the punishment so promptly. "Anything else?"
"I imagine there will be, but I have some reading to do before I announce them." He smiled, picking up the first book and settling into an armchair. "We'll get through this together, my friend."
Holmes had a feeling his companion was enjoying this more than a good friend should.