A/N: This is done upon request, so blame Electric Skies.

Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride; I simply mar the almost-decent plot by giving them all raging hormones.


This, friends, is a story about the most killer case of blue balls in the history of ever.

My name is Iggy, I'm a mutant freak with wings, and I have the raging hormones of any normal 17 year old.

I guess I could say my orientation is nonexistent considering I can't see anything anyway. So what's the difference as long as it feels good?

But Max definitely changed my outlook.

A few weeks ago I walked in to the bathroom, unaware that Max had just stepped out of a shower. I found myself tripping over a towel and face-planting into her chest. Before I could do something rash I turned on my heel and ran out of the house to head down to the cold stream.

It was then that I realized that I'd always liked Max subconsciously; really, I'd be stupid to ignore the fact that she was the cause of my pants being painfully tight.

"Alight, Ig," I said to myself. "This is your mission: have sex with Max. Maybe even later have a relationship with her if it isn't too much trouble."

I went out to the store after I, uh, calmed down, and bought some of that cologne that was suppose to make girls jump you. I sprayed a healthy amount on and strutted in to the house, shirtless.

"Hey, Ig," Fang called. He stiffened when he smelled the new cologne, his nostrils flaring. "So… You're starting to get interested in relationships and stuff, huh? You know, I could help you learn the moves. I could show you how to give the perfect BJ and how to make a man scr—"

I cut him off right there. "Okay, Fang. I get that you're gay. And I'm cool with that! But I'm not. I'm more into," I lowered my voice, "Max."

"Aw, that's cute! You smell pretty sexy, so no doubt you'll get her. You should do something with rose petals on the bed."

"Wow, thanks, Fang. That a great idea!"

"But you know my offer still stands if you want to get warmed up for your first time." He probably threw a wink in there, too.

I sighed, used to his shameless flirting.

Max walked by me then, her breasts rubbing against my arm. "Hey, Max? I have to tell you something." I fidgeted with my shirt hem.

"Sure, Iggy. What is it?"

"Actually, it's kind of private. Do you mind coming to my room?"

I heard her footsteps behind me. What was I suppose to do now? Jump her and start going at it like rabbits?

I sighed and sat on the bed, patting the spot next to me for her to sit. "So…"

"Is Fang hitting on you again?"

I laughed nervously. "Well yeah, but that's normal. I actually wanted to talk about…us."

She gulped.

"I'm in like with you."

"Excuse me?" she asked, clearly confused.

"Well, you're a great person and you've always been there for me and—" I paused, trying to find the best way to say it.

"Spit it out!" she said annoyed.

"I want to have sex with you." There. Done. Now my feelings were out in the open for her to stomp on.

I felt her blush beside me. "If that's all… Let's go!"

"Whaa?" Yes, Iggy, King of Quick Wit.

"You heard me! Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I don't get horny too. And quite frankly, unless I want to try to seduce the gay guy or rape the 11-year-old, you're the only guy that's available."

I smirked. "When you put it that way…" I jumped up and tossed my pants to the floor.

Her clothes were shed in record time, practically in shreds next to my own clothes. My lips were soon on hers, tongue fumbling around at an attempt to French kiss. We fell on to the bed still attached at the lips.

She pulled away for just a quick second. "Condom," she panted.

I reached into my nightstand drawer and fished around for the package. She grabbed it from me and started laughing. "Mega sized? Let's hope that isn't just wishful thinking on your part."

I merely laughed. She'd have her foot in her mouth soon enough. I slipped the little (technically, big) penis glove on and hovered a bit above her, my weight on my elbows.

"You're sure?" I asked, suddenly nervous. Maybe I should have taken Fang up on the offer.


We took a deep breath together as I entered her; I met no resistance.

"What the fuck? What happened to the whole I have to break through something thing?" Was she screwing around with other guys?

"You're an idiot." She laughed. "I've never had sex, but let's just say there was a nasty accident with a broken chair when I was 12." My eyes widened.

"Ugh. Just go on!" I complied. I pulled out and rammed back in, loving the friction around my little man. Max moaned my name.

So there we were, going at it like rabbits for a good 15 minutes when the door bursts open and a very aroused Fang walks in.

"Oh, my bad. I was putting up some laundry and the door wasn't locked…"

Max and I threw the blankets over us. "Get out!" we screamed together.

"Oh. You sure you don't wanna go threesies with me?"

I gagged. "No!" I threw a pillow at his retreating form. I turned my attention back to Max. "Sorry about that." I tried to move back in to her.

She pushed me off. "Sorry, Ig, that was way awkward. The mood's totally shot. Maybe some other time, 'kay?" She grabbed her clothes and walked out of my room.

I stayed put until her steps faded away. "Dammit, Fang! Cock-blocking me..." I cursed.

I ripped the condom off and sulked. "Looks like it's just me and my hand tonight."

A/N: I rather like gay Fang. :D

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