At lunch

"Here's two bucks," Napoleon said, handing the lunch lady twenty dimes.

The lunch lady rolled her eyes as she counted the change.

"You're ten cents short," the lady corrected him.

Napoleon looked at her, very confused.

"I'll need ten more cents," she reminded him.

"I don't have any more money," he told her, turning his head to glance in the lunchroom.

"You aren't permitted to eat from this tray unless you pay two American dollars."

"What about pesos?"

"Napoleon, just give her a dime!" Don shouted from the line behind him.

"I said I didn't HAVE another dime, you stupid butt!" Napoleon shouted back.

"Please take a seat in the cafeteria now," the lunch lady instructed. "You may not have anything to eat today."

Napoleon took a deep breath and sighed as he grabbed his change off the counter. He walked over to his best friend Pedro. Pedro looked at Napoleon as he sat down across from him.

"Napoleon, where's your lunch?"

"I didn't feel like eating today."

Pedro continued eating his taco.

"Where's Deb?" Napoleon asked.

Pedro shrugged.

Napoleon needed something to keep himself occupied for the rest of the lunch period. He took out a notebook and began to draw.

Deb came out from the line, carrying her lunch. She saw Napoleon and Pedro already sitting at a table and walked over to sit with them.

"Hi Napoleon, hi Pedro," she said, sliding into her seat.

"Hello," Pedro said, taking his eyes off of his taco to look her way.

"What are you drawing, Napoleon?"

"A picture of Tina choking on a decroded piece of crap."

Deb raised her eyebrows. "That's a nice drawing."

"Thanks, I know," he said, focusing.

In the Hallway

"Napoleon, your shoe's untied," said one of Don's friends from the locker room.

"Yeah right, I'm not flipping falling for that."

"All right, then," he said laughing with his friends.

Napoleon glared as they walked off laughing. He put his notebook in his locker and closed it and began to walk to class.

He tripped on his shoelace and fell on his knees. His glasses flew off.

"Ugh!" He grunted. He reached for his glasses, and then he heard someone talking around the corner. It was Summer Wheatly. Now she was giggling.

"I'll see if I can make it," she said.

"That'd be great," the other guy said. Wait… guy? He sounded too GOOD to be Don. Not as ogre or flipping idiot-like. Who was Summer talking to?

"Well, I have to go. Meet me after school on the lot, okay?"

Napoleon peered around the corner from afar to get a glimpse. The guy was looking at her like she had gunk on her lip, or something.

"Um… David?"

"Oh, um," he stuttered, his gaze breaking off. "Right."

"Lot? After school?"

"Got it," he said.

During Class before Dismissal

Pedro closed his notebook and put it away.

"You're done with homework already?!" Napoleon asked, who was sitting beside him.

He nodded.

"Hey Pedro…" He started.


"What would you do if I told you I was a secret agent?"

"What?" Pedro's blank expression didn't change.


"Like a spy?"

"Yeah, what would you do?"

"You would still be my friend."

"Well I'm undercover right now, believe it or not."


"Heck yes," Napoleon said, putting his notes in his binder. "Wanna help?"


The bell rang.

After school by the tetherball courts

"Just act like you're playing tetherball. Like you normally would."

"I thought we were already playing tetherball."

"We were. Now we're just gonna act like it."


"Pedro, that's just what spies do. Gosh!" said Napoleon, squinting.

"So… we are spying?"

"Yes, on Summer Wheatly."


An awkward silence passed as the two continued smacking the tetherball around the pole.


"Reliable sources have been suggesting that she dumped her no good lousy fat boyfriend."

"Oh. Okay. And we are…"

"Confirming these reports."

"Summer's coming."

"Pedro, you're supposed to roger that! If it's not rogered, then this mission is OVER."

"Roger. Who is that?" he asked, pointing to the boy Summer was walking with.

"I think that's David," Napoleon said, scratching his head. "We can hear what they're saying if we hide in those bushes over there."

The two hunched over, and ran behind Summer and David. Napoleon dove in the bushes. Pedro stood there.

"Pedro, jump in!"

"This is my dad's good shirt. I cannot mess it up."

"You should have thought of that when you signed up to become a spy, come on, jump in!" Napoleon said.

Summer and David turned around to see Pedro talking to a bush.

"Hi Pedro."


"Is Napoleon in the bushes?"

"Yes," Pedro replied.

Pedro, Summer, and David all looked in the bushes at Napoleon.

"Chuck Norris kicked me in the bushes, GOSH what the heck would YOU do in a situation like that?!"

David raised his eyebrow. Napoleon glared back at him.

"Are you going out with David?" Pedro asked Summer.

Summer grinned.

"Yes," she answered, her smile even wider. The two walked off.

Pedro looked down at Napoleon.

"That was probably the worst display of spying I've ever seen in all time," said Napoleon, wiping twigs off his shirt.