Disclaimer: The Vampire Knight anime/manga does not belong to me.




So tonight I was bored and thought of these ways to annoy Zero and Kaname. I love them both to death, and I just realized there are only 2 of these fics on … Time to contribute!

By the way:

Some of the ways to annoy Zero or Kaname needs knowledge of the 'Twilight' series by Stephanie Meyer for full enjoyment.

Please enjoy… Reviewcookies are loved.


Ways to annoy Zero:

1. Repeatedly bother him during class, and when he gets angry at you, tell him you need to hear the sound of a toilet flushing. When he asks why, tell him it helps you to think.

2. Ask him why his name is "Zero".

3. Throw brunette wigs and brown contacts at him in front of Kaname, and say: "NOW YOU CAN LOOK JUST LIKE YUUKI FOR KANAME SAMA!"

4. Whenever you need to write his name, always write it as "Kuran Zero"

5. Remind him that since he's Yuuki's "Brother" as well, that makes Kaname his older brother.

6. Everytime Kaname walks by, whisper in front of Zero: "You should spend more time with your little brother. He needs a role model."

7. Follow him everywhere and take pictures of him, later selling them to the KanamexZero fanclub. Let the computer editors do all the work...

8. Tell him he should wear a mask, like Ichiru, because he should be a little more fashionable for Kaname-sama.

9. Hide his day class uniform and replace it with a night class uniform. Force him to wear it to class.

10. While he wears his night class uniform, drag him towards Kaname and say to him "Kaname Sama! Your little brother is following in your footsteps!"

11. For Halloween, dress up like Shizuka Hiou, but claim to be Sephiroth. Tell him it was Kaname's idea.

12. For Valentine's Day, go up to Kaname and loudly give him HOMEMADE Chocolates from 'Zero'. Make sure both Zero and Kaname hears this clearly.

13. Send him a fake wedding invitation from Yuuki and Kaname.

14. For Christmas, give him a HUUUGE present which when opened, explodes in his face and says: You WISH that was Kaname in there!

15. Hide many copies of the Twilight series in his locker and backpack once in view of the night class students, unzip his bag and proclaim: "Zero! I never knew you liked Vampire books!"

16. Force him to do a book talk on the Twilight series in public, preferably where the night class can hear. Make him explain about newborns.

17. ALWAYS hurt yourself in front of him. Make sure you bleed. Whenever you get hurt, make sure it's him that takes you to the infirmary.

18. When in front of Zero and Kaname and preferably Yuuki, say VERY LOUDLY: "Loose the Zero, get with the Hero!"

19. When Zero needs to make a multimedia presentation and he's free to do anything, make him do an AMV on Vampire Hunter D with the song 'Vampire Heart'.

20. Tell Zero that Kaname needs to see him. Lead him towards the Zero fan club, and say: "LOOK! HE PREPARED THIS ALL FOR YOU!"

Ways to annoy Kaname:

1. Remind him that Zero is his younger brother since he's Yuuki's "Brother".

2. Whenever Zero does something wrong, tell Kaname that it's his fault, and he needs to take responsibility for his lil' bro's actions.

3. Hide ALL the blood tablets in the Moon dorm, and replace them with white Rockets candy.

4. In the daytime, hide ALL the curtains and blinds in the Night Class. Tell him Zero ordered it.

5. Tell him that whenever Zero drinks blood from Yuuki, Zero pretends it's him he's drinking from.

6. Remind him that Yuuki is his SISTER and generally in society, their love is considered WRONG.

7. Talk about birth deformities that may result from genetic mutations from incest. Make sure Kaname and Yuuki, and preferably Zero hears you.

8. Accuse him of being racist for wearing white all the time in class.

9. Ask him if he likes Zero, or boys in general. If he replies 'No', call him a sexist.

10. Organize a strike with KanamexZero fanclub members. Have them hold up posters and boards of Kaname and Zero together, have them march around making LOUD noises outside the Moon Dorm. Make sure the curtains and blinds are still gone while this happens.

11. Liken him to James Blunt. Make him watch/hear the 'You're Beautiful' video/song. Talk about how closely it seems to relate to his life.

12. Tell him that now all Zero needs to do is drink his blood when he isn't looking, and BOOM- you've got yourself a blood bond.

13. On Halloween, dress up as Vampire Hunter D. Tell him it was Zero's idea.

14. Buy him a jar of leeches.

15. If Kaname and Yuuki are together, play 'Girlfriend' by Avril Lavigne loudly on speakers every time Zero shows up.

16. Refer to Vampire/Vampire neck biting as 'Rapage of the neck'. Remind him that Zero drank from his neck.

17. Tell him Ichiru hurt Zero because he didn't want Kaname to be in his twin's brother's life.

18. Repeatedly remind him that Zero's LIVED with Yuuki for many, many, many YEARS.

19. Also repeatedly remind him that Zero's seen Yuuki in the bathroom MANY MANY TIMES.

20. While he is counting something important, holler random numbers at him.


Wow- now THAT was fun! ;D

Remember: REVIEWCOOKIES ARE LOVED. I'm ALWAYS hungry. 8D Please tell me what you thought of this list… I've never really attempted successful humor before… Anyways, if you could list your favourite lines in a reviewcookie, that'd be great. Any questions are welcome.

Thanks for reading!