(Drumroll) Well, here it is! The one you've all been waiting for...no? Okay, the one that I'm sure someone was waiting for...no? Never mind... XD Well, anyway. Here's "Aphrodisiac"! I suppose it's a little darker than Neutral, but I can't really write darkness, so it probably won't turn out that way.
To any "Onigiri" readers, well, this comes first, sorry!
Oh, and my friend just asked me what an aphrodisiac is...so just in case any of you don't know:
adj. Arousing or intensifying sexual desire.
n. Something, such as a drug or food, having such an effect.
Greek aphrodīsiakos, from aphrodīsiā, sexual pleasures, from Aphrodītē, Aphrodite.
Warnings: YAOI (Boyxboy, gayness, mano a mano, man on man, homo-fucking-sex galore! Oops, sorry, quoting -FAKE- there... Um, gayness.) LEMONS (A helluva lot of them, too. C'mon, the title is "Aphrodisiac"!) Probably bad language (It's the characters, not me, I swear!) rape and...well, general perviness.
If ANY of this bothers you in the slightest, LEAVE NOW, or forever hold thy peace! Flames will be used to light sexy candles for corny sasunaru fics or to cook marshmallows.
Enjoy! And if you don't, either tell me why (in a way that doesn't involve combustion) or...get over it! Love you guys!
Love is a terrible thing, I think, as rain drips into my eyes. It consumes us, distracts us and draws us away from reality.
I can barely see in the dark but I know I'm in front of the right door. I know because of the countless times I've been here, the countless times before, when I would come to his door to meet him, and then change my mind. I would go instead straight to wherever the rendezvous point was. I never once asked him to walk with me, even though I passed his flat everyday on my journeys. But I wanted to.
I love him. I love him so much that it's destroying me from the inside, and there's nothing I can do about it, except hope and pray that perhaps his love will last for one day – just one day – longer.
I love him.
So now, after all that has happened, I'm sat here outside his door, in the middle of the night in the pouring rain, crying at what could have been. What has been. What will soon no longer be.
The rain masks my tears, as I whisper one word: "Naruto."
And then I stand, brush the tears from my eyes in vain, since I know that the rain covers them anyway, knock on the door of his apartment, ready to ask him for one last time. One last night. One last embrace. One last kiss.
We have until morning, and then the jutsu is broken.
We have until morning, and then he'll stop loving me.
It'll go back to normal. I'll watch him, love him from a distance.
But not until morning.
Until then, he loves me, and that's all that matters.
One month earlier.
The mission was, by far, the most boring that Tsunade had set us for a long time. Sasuke and I could have done this mission ourselves with our eyes closed and our hands tied behind our backs, but for some reason, both Sakura and Kakashi had been sent along with us. Not that we'd need any medical help, or Kakashi's strength for this mission.
The task was simple; find a criminal gang's base, ambush them and arrest them.
So easy. They were barely even ninja, we'd been told; apart from one or two of them who were vaguely skilled, none could even do a simple transformation jutsu. They were just common thugs, as far as we were concerned.
Still, there was something that Kakashi and Tsunade weren't telling us.
At least, that's what Sasuke told me, but he's paranoid as hell, so I didn't really heed his warning.
"Hey, Dobe. It's your turn to guard." A voice broke through my half-slumber and I sat up, rubbing my eyes. It must have been about midnight, and I was very nearly sleeping peacefully in our tent. I'd forgotten that I had the night shift tonight. I'd worked myself too hard that day, forgetful that I would have to stay up for most of the night. I mentally groaned; it wouldn't have hurt the bastard to remindme before I went to bed.
"Aw, no fair!" I whined, automatically slipping into a childish pretence. "I always have to do nights!"
Even in the dim light from the campfire, I could see Sasuke rolling his eyes at me. "It's done on a rota, Dobe." He muttered, sitting back down on a log near the fire. I raised an eyebrow at him.
"Aren't you going to sleep?" I questioned, watching his eyes fixed on the flickering flames.
"Later." He said softly, and kept staring into the fire. I shook my head at him, frustration building in me.
"If you're not going to sleep, you could've just not woken me!" I shouted at him, losing my temper slightly. I couldn't admit to him that I was too tired for this, too sleepy to take on a night shift tonight. They said Sasuke had more pride than anyone, but I knew I was just as bad sometimes. I never wanted to admit my weakness to Sasuke, always striving to prove myself to him, trying to impress him.
As I spoke, he blinked twice, seemingly brought out of his trance. He turned his head and stared at me for a while, and I stared right back at him, uncomfortable at the silence. I was always out of my comfort zone with Sasuke and I didn't like it.
"Fine, I'll go." He said, completely stoically, and slipped past me silently into the tent. If I didn't know better, I'd say he actually seemed the slightest bit upset. Then again, I hadn't seen any flying pigs that day, so perhaps not.
Unless…could he have been staying up to keep me company?
No way! As if Sasuke would ever do anything that considerate!
I turned and stared at the fire, watching the smouldering logs, and thought about Sasuke. There was no denying that he'd been acting kind of odd for a while. Well, pretty much ever since he'd returned, I supposed. He'd been even more detached, more awkward, but somehow, more calm. It was as if the past few years had been a continuous storm and finally, finally, the wind had died down, but the debris was still there, blocking the view of the sea, making everything seem a little ominous.
And it's not as if I hadn't tried to make an effort! I'd tried my best to get him to open up a little, hell, I'd even invited him to ramen at Ichiraku! But every time, he would just refuse, and walk home alone. Then of course, I'd go through the usual routine of asking Sakura out, and she'd laugh and refuse, and we'd go our separate ways.
I wonder if she noticed that my invitations to her lacked conviction nowadays.
I wonder if she noticed that it hurt me more when he said no.
Why does it hurt so much when he refuses me?
My eyes drooped as I watched the lulling flames. I was tired, so tired…
I could feel myself falling into unconsciousness, forgetful of my duties.
Darkness enveloped me, and soon I was curled up beside the already dying fire, fast asleep.
I wasn't even aware of the approaching chakra, even as the intruder walked behind me. Even as his face twisted into a feral grin and he whispered the word "perfect", almost right into my ear. Even when he placed his hands in front of my eyes, and muttered some incomprehensible words, I still didn't stir, falling deeper and deeper into the world of shadows.
Deep in my slumber, I had no idea that when I awakened, I would be in hell.
In my dream, Sasuke was with me.
In my dream, I hadn't let him walk away.
I shouldn't have let him go…
"Hey, Sasuke-teme! Wanna come to Ichiraku with me?" His childish voice rings out clear into the calm summer air. Did his voice ever break, or was I away so long that I didn't notice it?
"No, Dobe." I mutter, turning away from him. "Seriously, I don't know how you eat that stuff." I twist my head, and get a glimpse of his face. His eyes don't meet mine; they are fixed on the floor. He isn't smiling his trademark grin, his face is downcast. He notices me staring and gives a little jerk, his lips suddenly twisting into that smile, and I know for certain this time that he's faking. My stomach convulses, and I turn away from him again, unable to look at his face.
"Suit yourself, Teme!" He laughs, and as I walk away I hear his invitation to Sakura. I feel a pang of resentment for the pink haired girl, but to my relief, she refuses. Once again, he laughs it off, with a little more confidence now. I can't see him, but I know he's smiling.
I opened my eyes, and stared at the roof of the tent. I was dreaming about Naruto, again. Dreaming of him, thinking of him as usual.
It disgusts me, that fake smile. So insincere, so damaged.
I want him to smile for real. I want to be the one make him smile for real.
I want him to smile for me.
I love him, but I refuse him. I'm denying myself of his company, by refusing him. I'm lying to him, but I don't care. He's lying too, hiding behind that smile.
He has his smile, I have my stoicism. We're both hiding, really. We're hiding from the world, but I don't want him to hide from me.
"Until I can make you smile, Naruto, I can't tell you how I feel. When you're happy, dobe, then I will tell you."
But until then, keep smiling, Naruto, and I'll keep frowning.
"We're both just hiding, in the end." I whispered, throwing off my cover and opening the tent. I felt the cold air hit my face and shivered, rubbing my eyes.
It's too dark.
Panic shot through me, ninja senses tingling. I reached for my pouch and swiftly pulled out a kunai.
Eyes spun into Sharingan as I scanned the area. No chakra anywhere.
An abandoned jacket. That was all that was left beside the dying fire.
Naruto was gone.
They got him.
Well, there you go. Next chapter will be longer.
And again I say (because it's now my favourite catchphrase) ;
Cavemen invented flames. Computer geniuses created reviews...how evolved are you?