YAY FOR LONG AUTHOR NOTES:
:D I decided to post a Super Smash Brothers Brawl story for once!! I have too many crack ideas anyways. Before I start, this is a FOUR CHAPTER story (or so I hope. I don't really want to go that far. XD).
And YES, this story has pairings because I say so. Yaoi pairings are awesome, so deal with it. XD
The pairings are written. Like…in the story.
Note: For comical reasons, Sheik and Zelda will be separate people for now. I'll refer to Sheik as a male, and Zelda well…as a female, obviously.
One: The Plan
It was only three days. Three days. Not two, not four, but three.
What three days, you may ask?
The three days of total hell.
Yes, meaning when total hell breaks loose. Or heaven is no longer pleasant, or however you may put it. Three whole days, all forty-eight hours…don't know the minutes or seconds, which is somewhat pointless.
Anyway, in Smash Mansion/Hotel (no one ever knew which one it was, they just LIVE, okay?), innocent little Pit was just crossing the halls when someone totally horrible happened.
What was it? Well, he was just walking down the hall when he bumped into Marth, who happened to have a cup of coffee (the prince needs it), which made a small amount of said liquid to splash onto Pit's new, white robe/clothes.
Which was horrible, because it was hard to get coffee out of his clothes! And his clothes were white for crying out loud!! White!! Which means you could see it even more!!
But Pit, being Pit, didn't mind it and went to wash his clothes.
That was when the HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE part happened.
Master hand came in out of nowhere, which also made Pit jump at least ten feet (NOT using his wings), and tossed Ike at him. Now, we all know Ike is way bigger than Pit, which…you know, sort of crushed Pit. Crushed him not in "aw, I'm smaller than Ike," more like "WAH!! I'M SQUISHED! I CAN'T BREATHE!!"
Yes, like that.
"Can someone please tell me why I was taken away while I was watching Food Network?" Ike rubbed the back of his head.
"Food network…?" Fox, who was in the laundry room to wash his clothes, raised a brow.
"Yes, Kirby and Yoshi didn't let me change the channel. I had to deal with it." The blue haired man shrugged. "Besides reruns of…who knows what, there was nothing on anyway. But hey, at least I learned how to make a steak without burning it."
"Uh-huh…" Fox gave Ike a weird look and walked off with his laundry.
"Um, excuse me…Please get off of me…" The angel said weakly. "I think I just crushed my wings…"
"Oh…I thought you were some sort of seat…I apologize then."
Pit got up as soon as the other man stood. They both look at Master Hand, expecting an answer.
"Well, since I'm trying out this strange test someone sent me of how well people in Smash Mansion/Hotel get along, I decided you two would be my first victim—er…I mean, helpers." If a hand could smile, Master Hand would have had this sweet, innocent smile plastered somewhere on his face, which he also didn't have.
"I'm getting there, Ike. Calm down, geez, peoples these days…so impatient!" Grumbled the hand.
The hand coughed. "Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted by someone, I want you two to hook up."
"…Are you trying to match make Pit and I together?" Yes, people, Ike looked very dangerous with that sword pointing at Master Hand oh so menacingly.
Pit just blinked, being an angel, he rarely heard lame pick up lines or flirting, so he had no idea what's going on. Heck, everyone seems to agree that Pit doesn't even know the birds and bees. He probably didn't…Did he?
"No, no!!" Master Hand looked impatient. "Can't you at least let me finish? I mean, hook up and help me get through this!"
"Why didn't you ask Marth?"
"STOP INTERRUPTING ME!!"
"Thank you." Master hand continued with his explanation. "Anyway, I want you two to NOT leave each other's side. And if you do, I'll make SURE you two don't leave."
"Even when I have to pee?"
Master hand sighed. "Pit can wait by the door, can't he?"
"I don't mind waiting." The angel pointed out. "But wouldn't he run away?" That question was just plain ignored. Maybe it was because the bathrooms had no windows…but then again, Ike can just bust through the walls, right?
"What if I have to bathe?" Questioned the blue haired man yet again.
"…Pit can sit on the toilet seat and wait for you, or something. Look, you think of the details. I just do this."
"Why only us though?" Pit asked.
Master Hand had a head/hand ache. He "sighed" and answered, "I'll make Marth do it too, if you really want to see him suffer through it."
"E-eh? Suffer? I don't want others suffering…" Pit could have sworn Ike muttered something like, "Let's hope he suffers…" under his breath, but then again, he COULD be imagining it!
Somewhere, in an isolated room, a bored Prince sneezed on his book.
"Damn, I must be getting a cold…" Muttered the blue clad prince.
Anyway, back to the umm…laundry room.
"Okay, so…wear this thing." Master Hand magically tossed Ike and Pit a watch thing. The two stared at each other and shrugged. Well, Ike shrugged. Pit just put on the watch. It beeped loudly…and I mean, LOUDLY. Seriously, the whole laundry room echoed.
"What do these do?" Pit asked, looking at the weird thing. "Does it play games?"
"NO, they don't play games." Answered Master Hand. "It's just a thing to know if you two are together."
"Why does this still sound like you're trying to pair me up with Pit?" Ike raised his brow suspiciously.
"…" The hand decided to ignore Ike and leave. Yes, leave. Poor Ike, his question went unanswered.
Thus starting the three days of total hell. Who knows what might happen??
A certain blue haired prince raised a brow, looking very amused. He took a sip of his coffee before laughing randomly, making most of the Smashers in the cafeteria look at him strangely. Then again, everyone knew the prince's sanity wasn't…exactly sane when he first arrived in Smash Hotel/Mansion in the first place. Some just looked at each other and sighed, other just ignored it and went back to doing whatever they were doing.
On the other side of the table, another blue haired man sighed. "Marth, it's not funny."
"Oh yes, it is." Marth answered, still laughing wildly like there's no tomorrow. "It's hilarious…(cough)…I can't breathe."
"Marth, you have a horrible sense of humor." Sheik (who randomly appeared out of nowhere) pointed out before he made his way to the group of girls in the corner.
Link nodded. Now when did he get here? Well, he's been sitting at the table for some time now, it's just that…no one noticed him! Poor Link!
Pit chewed on his cookie. "Master Hand is going to pair you up with someone too, Marth!"
Marth spit out most of the liquid content in his mouth…that unfortunately went towards Pit's direction…again. There goes his white robes…again. Screw coffee. Maybe he'll ask Peach to help him wash it again…or start wearing black.
Anyway, back to the prince. "W-WHAT?! WHY ME?!" He practically screeched. The Smashers didn't bother staring, it was normal enough.
"We told him to." Ike answered, looking lazily at the empty jar of sugar on the table.
Pit shook his head. "You told him to." He corrected, wiping off the table with his robes. Heck, he doesn't care if his robes get dirty anymore. Screw stains.
"You shouldn't use your robes to wipe the table." The blue haired man pointed out.
"I don't care anymore…" Pit muttered.
"Does anyone care that I'm going to suffer through hell?!" Marth could have rammed his head on the coffee stained table, but he didn't. He still had some sanity left. He left the table twitching somewhat violently with his coffee cup.
Everyone at the table ignored the Prince and continued with their conversation.
"Come on, get a rag or something."
"No! I'm fine!"
Link watched in a somewhat amused way at the swordsman and the angel. Of course, he didn't make a sound, nor did he look like he was going to help sometime soon…
Meanwhile, in another table across the room, Peach, Zelda and Samus were chatting nonchalantly about the Smashers and Smash hotel/mansion. Well, they were…until Peach spotted Pit and Ike. She smiled, "Don't they look like a married couple?" The princess pointed to the angel who was wiping the table with his clothes and Ike trying to stop him.
"They do…?" Samus raised a brow and looked at the two males.
"Oh Samus, you just don't understand, do you?" Peach asked.
"I don't?" The blonde questioned the other two Princesses.
Peach sighed. "You're hopeless, Samus, absolutely hopeless!"
Samus just looked at Zelda for an answer, but the Princess of Hyrule remained silent.
"You know what I noticed? That Pit and Ike are walking around together a lot today…" The other princess pointed out.
"They're just probably agreeing to team up for the next brawl or something." Samus rolled her eyes.
"You're such a spoilsport, Samus!"
It was nighttime, the Smashers were getting ready for bed. Well, some were, while some others were doing whatever they were doing. Ike wanted to watch some medieval fighting show on TV, so Pit had to unwillingly follow along. Though, it was better than thinking how they were going to sleep.
Now, Master Hand was lurking (not really) around in the halls, trying to find Marth's room. It wasn't really that hard, it was the last room in the west wing of the mansion, but somehow, Master Hand got lost. In his own mansion as well, amazing wasn't it?
Anyhow, Marth was reading a book in his room, minding his own business. That is, until the window was rattling uncontrollably. The blue Prince closed his book and looked at the window suspiciously. Oh no! It was the reoccurring nightmare!! The world's about to end!
The window rattled, then opened by a hand. Now the prince was really starting to get frightened…not that he would show it, that is. He's a man!
A boy (man?) with reddish brown hair stepped in his room. "Hey, Marth!" He greeted.
Marth twitched. It was a nightmare come true…Seriously. He wanted to run out the door screaming in terror, but he won't. There should be a way out of this, right? Marth sure hoped so.
"Y-YOU….ROOM OUT GET YOU!!" The prince spluttered out oh so sophisticatedly.
Marth threw his book at the other man. "OUT!!"
Just a bit after the prince threw his book, Master Hand appeared out of nowhere, making Marth jump. "WHY IS EVERYONE ENTERING MY ROOM?!" He bellowed, twitching violently yet again.
Master Hand coughed (if hands could do that) and announced, "Well Marth…this is a surprise…I was going to match you up with Link or something but--"
"Wait…you want to match me up with Link?!" The swordsman interrupted.
"But you'd rather I pair up with ROY?!" Marth pointed to the guy standing by the window.
Master Hand thought for a moment. "Yeah sure…but didn't I fire Roy already?"
"Yeah, he's fired, pair me up with some sane person."
"But how'd he…?"
"Window." Answered Roy accomplishedly.
Master Hand looked thoughtful yet again…that is, if hands could! "Interesting…Note to self: never let Marth live near windows." Then he announced, "Anyways, since Roy's here, you can be partners."
Marth twitched violently and looked as if he was about to explode any moment. "B-B-but…I-I-I….R-Roy…." He spluttered out randomly.
"I'm glad you see it my way." Master Hand threw those watches at Roy and Marth. "Three days."
"Of hell…" Twitched a really disturbed looking Marth.
"Sweet! Do these watches have games?" Roy asked excitedly while looking at the strange gadget on his wrist. "I like games."
The hand sighed. "Why do the idiots all say the same thing?" He muttered to himself. "No, Roy, they don't play games. I'm sorry if you like games, but there are no games. It's just a tracking device."
"What are we? Animals?" Marth looked pissed off.
"The watch will tell me if you two are apart. Now, would you like to have a pleasant three days, or would you rather I make it a competition between you and other people?"
Marth grumbled something, but Roy answered, "COMPETITON!!" which made the blue prince head desk and wonder why god hates him.
"Okay then, I'll go inform team…er…Ike/Pit."
Roy burst out laughing. "HAHA, TEAM IKE/PIT. WHAT ARE WE? TEAM ROY/MARTH?"
"Only if you want to." If hands could shrug, Master Hand would be shrugging.
"…" Marth was starting to get a headache; a really bad one. Maybe this was all a dream and Roy's not really there, and it was just something bad he ate today…
After a few explanations from Master Hand, and the occasional Roy laughing out randomly every second with Marth trying to commit suicide, everything went smoothly for the night.
Let's say, for Marth, it's going to be a long night. Especially when Roy's trying to get in his bed every three seconds (of course, the prince made the other boy sleep on the uncomfortable looking wooden chair, what'd you expect?).
Anyway, back to Ike and Pit. They had a strange situation of who's going to whose room. Pit insisted to use his room because there he didn't sleep with a roommate, so they won't bother anyone. Ike complained the room was too small so they should go to his room since it was bigger.
So, they had this "husband-wife" fight that night, until Lucario came by and told them to sleep on the couch or something. The pair looked strangely at the Pokemon, and briefly wondered why it would help them. They shrugged, and then had another fight of who's taking the couch.
Pit suggested that Ike should sleep on the couch because he said he was fine sleeping on the floor, but Ike countered, saying that it was apparently "bad for Pit's wings and he's a growing boy" so he should sleep on the couch.
Again that had a "husband-wife" fight, until Peach came by, giggling. She suggested that they both sleep on the couch together. When she left, the pair looked strangely at each other. Ike coughed and Pit hid his face. If it was for embarrassment or another reason, we'll never know.
"U-uh…I'll sleep on this corner then…" Pit grabbed a pillow and set it on the small corner of the couch.
Ike coughed. "I'll sleep sitting up then."
They looked at each other again. If they were having problems sleeping, what would happen when one of them wanted to use the restroom, or wanted to change? Maybe someone will help them through this problem one day…
So, Pit made himself comfortable by curling up and folding his wings, sleeping on one corner. He suggested that Ike lie down to sleep, but the blue haired man shook his head and sat contently in one corner.
Anyhow, the two didn't get much sleep that night, and somehow Ike ended up using Pit as a pillow the next day…with the occasional Smashers looking at them. Except the younger ones like Ness, Lucas, Pikachu, and Kirby, everyone was somewhat amused. (Yes, Pokemon count!) The younger ones were just watching TV like the whole day was normal. Ike noticed Peach in a corner giggling almost madly to herself.
Ike learned to never, ever, and he means EVER trust Peach which these things again. EVER.
Pit never noticed, he was still sleeping like a fallen angel. (And how strangely ironic was that sentence?)
Well, life was worse for Marth. Apparently, he woke up the following morning with Roy using him as a stuffed animal. How he got there, and when, Marth will never know. But Smash mansion/hotel shook from an enormous scream that morning. Everyone suspected Marth's room, but they didn't know what happened.
Marth prayed to god, wondering how he'll get through these three days of total hell.
God never answered back though.
Pit never woke up from Marth's girly scream either. Amazing.
Thus started day one, of our zany and somewhat illogical story…