Blood Mistress: Hello! My, it has been a while since we updated, hasn't it?

Nite: It sure has!

Blood: Ha ha.

Nite: Ha ha.

* awkward silence *

Both: WE'RE SORRRRRRYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

Blood: Between writer's block and school...and laziness...well...

Nite: But we're updating now and that's all that matters!

Blood: Right!

Both: So, this is for our one reviewer. Thank you, Mew Mai! Sorry we took forever to update!

Disclaimer: We own nothing

Nite interrupts: I own my soul.

Blood: Okay, well, if we're being literal, I own lots of stuff. Sheesh.

Nite: I own your soul too.

Blood: *stares menacingly *

Nite: ...never mind

Blood: Moving on. We don't own Inuyasha. JUST READ IT!

Nite: Well, we own him now.

Blood: * clubs her with a tissue box *


Inuyasha: Acquisition

Birds don't ask for much in life. Some bugs to eat, a nice tree to nest in, a mate for life, not to be eaten by a passing predator. Not unreasonable demands, really. They like a bit of peace and quiet to fill up with their own special music.

They certainly do not like to have random dimensional portals open up beneath their cozy trees and spew out hyperactive cat demon girls who scream "HELLO, FEUDAL JAPAN!!!!!" loud enough to wake the dead and kill them all over again.

"KAY!! Not that my eardrums are my favorite body part, but I'd still like to keep them around for a fucking while longer, okay?!" Raven snapped, rubbing her ears.

"Well, I suppose alerting every demon in the vicinity to our whereabouts is one way to go about locating our targets," Janice muttered sarcastically. Kay stuck out her tongue at her just as Yuri walked through the portal, her nose buried in an Inuyasha book.

"Actually, I already worked out a plan on how to capture the different bishies," she began.

"Oh?" Janice asked. She hovered over the ice mistress's shoulder as the other girls came through the portal.

"We're around this time here, right?" Yuri pointed out chapter 238. Janice nodded and she continued. "So, what happens next is Mukotsu poisons Kagome and the others, Sesshoumaru comes and saves them, and then he leaves to look for Naraku. I think that's the best time to grab him, though I'm not sure how we'll do that. Anyway, after that Inuyasha takes his friends to that temple that's actually run by Renkotsu, and Ginkotsu attacks him there. After he runs away, he'll be weakened, and I think we can get him here," she pointed out the end of chapter 244 and the beginning of 245, "when he's away getting his friends medicine."

Janice nodded slowly. "That sounds reasonable..."

"When do we grab Jakotsu?" Raven piped up. The others had gathered around the twin as she plotted and they were now drawing a chart in the dirt. Sora now stared at Raven when she asked that, clearly wondering what weird part of her mind liked gay guys. Yuri saw that look and silenced her with a glance, not wanting to waste any time.

"We grab Jakotsu in chapter 243, when he's fighting Kouga. Then we can grab Kouga at the same time," Yuri paused as the other girls nodded their agreement. "Now, how do we grab them?" There was silence for a moment until Janice spoke up, thinking strategically again.

"Which one of them is the strongest?" After a simultaneous chorus of 'Sesshoumaru,' Janice continued. "So what kind of things would effect him? We need to know this so that we can organize everyone into groups. We should get this done as quickly as possible."

"Well, poison doesn't work on him. It says so right here when he's battling Mukotsu. And he's too strong to be affected by ice or wind. I think Ray's illusions will be best. But he is really strong, so you'll have to concentrate to trap him," Yuri put in.

"Well, that would mean that Ray can't help us with the rest of them," Kay said. "So how do we get Inuyasha, Kouga and Jakotsu?"

"I think my poison would work pretty well on Inuyasha," Lilith suggested softly.

"Ha! I bet we could just trip Kouga when he's running at that super-speed of his. The impact of his face hitting the ground should be enough to knock him out anyway," Sora snickered. She quickly looked surprised when the rest of the bishie-catchers started to smile.

"That might actually work," Raven said. "Then we could nab Jakotsu when he's surprised."

"But how do we grab a corpse?" Janice asked.

Raven smiled pervertedly. "Heh heh...I can tell you how I want to grab him."

The reaction was an immediate chorus of cringes and fake gagging. "Okay, Raven...no. Just...no," Kay shook her head disgustedly.

"I could freeze him with my ice," Yuri said, trying to get back on topic.

"Ha! Perfect!" Janice smiled, amused.

"Let's see. We would have to grab Sesshoumaru first, then Kouga and Jakotsu, then Inuyasha. But there's a significant gap between Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru. How do we keep him occupied for long enough?" Yuri asked nervously. On her face you could still see traces of her reaction to Raven's...interesting joke.

"I guess I'll just knock him out by hitting his pressure points," Raven replied, getting bored with the planning. "Can we go now?"

"Sure!" Kay chirped, stretching. The rest of them slowly got up and Yuri scratched out the chart they made.

"Let's go!" Sora yelled. There were a few cheers in response and the hunters spread out to find their prey.

-.-.-.-.-

At a dilapidated shack, smothered in poisonous fumes, the first bishie appeared: Sesshoumaru. Raven waited in a tree close to the scene, keeping an eye on Sesshoumaru, but still watching Jakotsu, who was also nearby spying. 'Damn, he's hot!' Ray thought as she grinned like the Cheshire cat. 'Open that kimono a little more, baby!' But she grudgingly refocused on their mission as Jakotsu crept away and Sesshoumaru started to leave.

"...so Naraku is definitely close by," Inuyasha was finishing.

"That's all I needed to know." Sesshoumaru dismissed his little brother, gliding away. 'Now!' Ray thought as she cast her illusion just before he reached the forest, too soon for him to sense her in the trees. She followed him through the undergrowth, not bothering to be silent when she could simply edit the noise out in the illusion, and led him towards the portal.

-.-.-.-.-

Sesshoumaru walked quickly through the forest, senses alert for traces of Naraku. He had sensed a powerful force coming from the direction he was headed earlier, but it had disappeared. However, he continued to seek its source. Although it did not bear Naraku's trademark evil scent, it may turn out to be one of Naraku's many pawns, one whom he could force to reveal the spider demon's hideout. He suddenly turned around when he thought he thought he felt a presence nearby. Seeing nothing, he nevertheless sniffed the air deeply, trying to discern any unfamiliar smell that would indicate someone troublesome nearby. There was something unusual, but it was faint...

Suddenly something was thrown at him from one side, and as he turned to dodge it, he suddenly fell unconscious, having taken a hit to a pressure point in his neck. Raven appeared next to him, formerly masked by her illusion. She stood over him, smirking but secretly relieved that she had defeated him. It had taken so much concentration to mask her true location that she hadn't been able to move while casting the illusion, and had to try the risky business of luring Sesshoumaru to her so she could knock him out. Luckily, it had worked. She quickly put another illusion over the both of them to hide from passers-by, just in case, as she radioed Kay to come help carry him.

-.-.-.-.-

After helping Sora and Yuri with the tripwire, Lilith left to follow Inuyasha and wait for the opportune moment. Yuri crawled to the side of the field closer to Jakotsu to be prepared for her part, and watched Kouga leap about. 'He really should put on some underwear' Yuri thought after she had to shield her eyes...again. But both Yuri and Sora looked up in anticipation as Kouga's loud cry of "But the next time we meet, prepare to die you dumb bastard!" echoed across the rocky area. Sora beamed an evil smile as Kouga approached. At the last second she pulled the wire, and....

WHAM!!!!!!

The noise could be heard clearly all the way to the portal, causing Janice to smile and Raven and Kay to glance at each other, then burst out in laughter (which quickly stopped when Sesshoumaru twitched). And as Kouga lay, head bleeding, on the ground, Yuri quickly leapt out and froze Jakotsu with a solid blast. He only had time to turn slightly, surprise spreading across his face, before the ice restricted his movements. The blue-haired twins high-fived each other and were preparing to pick the boys up when a shocked cry sounded.

"What did you do to Kouga?!" his lackey with the darker tuft of hair on his head cried. They both turned around to look at the two demons with their snarling pack of wolves.

"I believe we tripped him," Sora said with a yawn.

"Should I freeze them?" Yuri asked a bit guiltily as she looked at them, leaning on her sister's shoulder. "I don't want to hurt them."

"I guess it would be best," Sora replied as she used her winds to get Kouga out of harm's way. The wolves' barking and two cries of outrage were cut of when they were suddenly put in a frozen state.

"It wouldn't effect them anyway," Sora said as she hauled Kouga on an ice platform. "They aren't even real." And with that Sora lifted the platform and they flew off towards the portal.

-.-.-.-.-

At the portal Janice, Raven, and Kay sat awaiting the arrival of the other bishies. Raven sat there with Sesshoumaru's head in her lap, monitoring his consciousness and occasionally knocking him out again. As Janice read a book and Kay watched Raven draw imaginary doodles on their captive's face with her finger, a large ice rectangle arrived, carrying two of the three remaining targets. Yuri quickly got rid of it to save her energy and Sora took one look at the scene before forcing Raven to relinquish Sesshoumaru's head to her. Kay quickly glomped Kouga and Yuri forced Sora away from Sesshoumaru to go help Lilith carry Inuyasha. Soon Sora was walking away, grumbling under her breath, Raven was contemplating getting a real marker to doodle on Sesshoumaru's face, and Kay hugged Kouga while Yuri stroked his hair. Janice just sat there, staring at them and wishing they could have gone to a manga with smart guys first.

-.-.-.-.-

Lilith sat in the trees waiting for Inuyasha to come and get more medicine (actually snake's venom, but what Kagome and the others didn't know wouldn't scar them for life!). As she waited there with her best knock-out poisons at hand, she felt a presence approach and Sora landed lightly above her. "I'll keep watch for him or any enemies," Sora mouthed to Lilith. Lilith nodded and shifted her position when Sora sent a brief wind her way, signaling Inuyasha's approach. After a few seconds of calculating the best place to hit him, Lilith's arm flashed out and a needle pierced Inuyasha right in the neck. He shouted and yanked the needle out, looking around as he started to pull out Tetsusaiga, but stopped when he noticed two things. One, as he spotted his attackers in the trees he realized they were only human, teenage girls. And two, he was suddenly feeling really woozy. He swore once, trying to stay upright, before he crumpled, landing on the ground with a plop. Lilith and Sora leapt down to pick him up. They stopped when they were interrupted by a rustling in the bushes and Shippo stepped out.

"Hey! L-let go of Inuyasha! Fox fire!" he cried as he sent the pitiful attack at them.

"Oh! Oh! AcHOO!!!" Sora faked sneezed, sending a small breeze to get rid of the fire. Her smile disappeared when Lilith gave her a scolding look. With a small sigh, Lilith threw a shorter needle covered in a minor sleeping concoction at Shippo. By the time Miroku staggered over there to see where Shippo was, he found the fox fast asleep and Inuyasha long gone.

-.-.-.-.-

Lilith and Sora returned to see Raven arguing with Janice. "C'mon, just a little illusion! Even if he does wake up there's no way he can escape from the ice!"

"We can't chance that! Can't you have a little patience? You can play with him all you want soon enough!" Janice snapped back.

"What's going on?" Lilith asked as Sora deposited her cargo next to the other unconscious bishies.

Raven whirled on them, but Kay spoke first. "Finally! Now you guys are back we can get going and Raven can get to torturing Jakotsu already."

Lilith looked at her in exasperation. "You were trying to torment him already?"

Raven held her hands up, palms up. "What? You guys were gone a while, I was bored, I can cast illusions on him through the ice! It's not like he's really unconscious anyway."

"Whatever! Let's drop it. Everyone's here now, so - " Janice was cut off by the strange sight of Kay running forward with her arms out only to be intercepted by Lilith, who slapped a hand across her mouth. Muffled squeals escaped the blonde as she tried to reach (and glomp) Inuyasha. "Down, Kay! You might wake him up," Lilith said as she restrained her.

"Um, I vote we get through the portal now before anything goes wrong," Yuri said nervously.

Janice and Lilith agreed and Kay calmed down somewhat. Yuri picked up Jakotsu simply by manipulating the ice around him, and Kay insisted on taking Inuyasha, so Lilith was left to carry Sesshoumaru with some help from Sora's winds. The windmaster also took Kouga. "You two could help, you know," she looked pointedly at Janice and Raven.

Janice merely took out her remote control. "I have to make sure our re-entry goes smoothly."

Sora scoffed. "And what's your excuse?" she asked Raven.

The goth shrugged, her hands in her pockets. "I just don't feel like it."

The girls groaned and sweatdropped. Then, one by one, they quickly snuck back through the portal.

The portal crackled, warped around the edges, and wobbled as it shrank, becoming more and more unstable. Finally it pulsed wide once, and just as suddenly devolved into a black hole, taking the imaginary woods of feudal Japan with it.


Blood: W00t! Chapter 2 done! How'd you all like it?

Nite: * still wincing * What's in that tissue box?!

Blood: Next chapter, the torment begins! Look forward to it! (But not too much because I don't see us getting work ethics anytime soon)