A/N: Alright, I thought this needed an author's note to explain it a bit.
This is, essentially, a 2537-word ramble. With a bit of Doctor Who thrown in. And it's based off of real events -- well, sort of. I did honestly speculate all of the things I speculated in this story in real life.
Yes, I realize that I am way too obsessed. Soon enough, I'll get over it -- I'll have found a new fandom to become addicted to.
But, if you can follow my logic, you're lucky, and you can read this. If you can't follow my logic... turn away now.
"Where the hell am I?" I wonder aloud. I'm investigating a plant -- yes, a plant, but I'll get back to that in a second -- when all of a sudden, I'm not where I thought I was.
Okay, I admit, that sentence doesn't make much sense. Admittedly, I have no idea where I am, but now's as good a time as any to recap, so I can see if there's anything I missed the first time around. Which is unlikely.
Right. Back to the point (sort of).
I was investigating a plant. This was, oh, about, two minutes ago now. You see, a couple days ago, I was -- let's start at the beginning.
Fourteen years ago, on March 9th, in Madison, Wisconsin--
That's a little too back at the beginning.
I hope you can follow my logic here. It's a little off, I know.
Every summer, for the past five summers (ever since I was nine and coming out of third grade), I've gone to a horseback riding day camp. It's really fun, and I absolutely adore it, and it's definitely my favorite camp ever. And I honestly, if you asked me why, couldn't give you a real answer. I'd probably say something like, because I love it. Or something. I don't know.
But anyway, I ride every summer at this camp. And they've got this field (I know, outrageous, right? What horse barn has a field?) where we can ride, but only once they've set up the jumps out there. Because the only reason why we would (do) jump out there is so that the really advanced people who jump out there can jump out there. Does that makes sense? Well, don't worry; it doesn't have to. All you have to know is that we ride in the field.
Back to the point. We were riding in the field a couple days ago, and there was this plant that happened to be right after one of the jumps that the horses kept spooking at. And one girl even fell off and fractured her wrist because a horse spooked so badly.
So, of course, I decided I would investigate.
Which brings me back here.
I came out to the field today, hiked across the giant empty (except for jumps and whatever else was hiding in the bushes) field in horse boots and horse-dirt-y jeans and t-shirt and sunglasses and holding my now-only-half-frozen water bottle that was half filled with water. Only, by the time I got all the way over to the plant, it was like a quarter filled with water. But it was still half ice. So I had a three-quarters-full water bottle in my hand. (I alternated between holding it in my left and right because it made my hand cold.)
Back to the ... point?
Ahh, right, now I remember. I can't believe I forgot. I think it's cause I have a really bad habit of losing my train of thought in the middle of a big ramble. Which is what this is turning out to me. So, I went and looked around for this plant. It had been described as a really big leaf thing. Now, (and be ready for another ramble here) on that day when the horses had been spooking at this plant, I wasn't jumping out in the field, so I was bored. Watching other people ride only entertains you for so long. When I'm bored, I get to thinking. That sentence makes it sound ominous, and, in this case, it is. Was. Whatever.
I was thinking about this plant. And how, maybe, just maybe, there was a reason the horses were spooking at it that we couldn't see. Recently, I've become addicted to the British tv show Doctor Who. It's incredibly amazing. Although, you would know, wouldn't you? You're already a fan of it. I don't need to go around explaining how amazing it is, because the only reason you would read something retarded like this (because already I can see how retarded this is getting, and I'm really writing it as a way to kill time and to exercise the writing part of my mind which hasn't been used in a while and really needs a brilliant (ha ha, I was brilliant) way to get all of this Doctor Who out of my head) is if you were a fan. Not even the hugest fan, but a fan nonetheless, because who but a fan of Doctor Who would go looking on for a parody of Doctor Who that is in actuality the Doctor Who equivalent of an insert-yourself Pirates of the Caribbean fanfic. Oh, you all know what I'm talking about. One of those stories where, with the help of someone or something magical, a fangirl pops into the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, says all of the characters lines along with them, and creates an amusing story.
Except that this time, it wasn't a Pirates of the Caribbean movie. I've had practice with those -- go read The Tale of Lucy Turnenbaumerumm for proof. No, this was something totally different. For one thing, it wasn't aided by someone or something magical. Unless you think horses or plants or giant rips in the -- oops I'm gonna give away the story -- are magical.
Here's what it was.
I was sitting on a horse and thinking about a plant that other horses were spooking at. Funny how things like that work, eh? Right. Focus. Try and get this finished without it being five times more ridiculously long than it doesn't need to be. If that even makes sense. So I was think about this plant, and about Doctor Who. Can you see where this is going? Sort of? Well, I thought there had to be a reason all of the horses were spooking at it. And then I wondered (only half theoretically, if you know what I'm saying) if horses were more susceptible to things like that. Well, animals in general. Sort of like how cats know when an earthquake is about to happen and they get themselves somewhere save. Yeah, sort of like that.
Only instead of an earthquake, it was a rip in the space-time continuum.
That's right, I though horses were spooking at a rip in the space-time continuum.
Or is it time-space continuum? I didn't know then, either. Ah well.
And then I got to thinking how I would have that explained to me. It would go something like this:
"Yep, that's right, a rip in the space-time continuum." (That would be the Doctor, or, if this didn't turn out to be a Doctor Who fic, the Doctor Who equivalent person.)
"But hidden under a leaf?" (That would be me.)
"Yep. Actually, it's a pretty small rip in the space-time continuum." (The Doctor.)
"What are you talking about? That was a HUGE leaf!" (Me.)
"Think about it. Compared to all of space and time, it's not that much." (The Doctor.)
"Oh. Well, okay." (Me.)
Of course, this would all happen after I'd discovered the rip in the space-time continuum. Which would require me discovering it in the first place. So, I went and investigated the plant.
We're back to investigating the plant.
We really haven't gotten anywhere, have we?
That was a rhetorical question.
I lifted up the leaf.
And I got sucked through the minuscule rip in the space-time continuum that was the size of the GIGANTIC leaf (honestly, the leaf was HUGE! It was like a manhole cover or something) and ended up here.
In a field that looks exactly the same.
Except for that blue box over there.
Except for that blue box over there.
"Except for that blue box over there!" I say out loud. "That blue box! It's familiar! It's blue! It's a familiar blue box! IT'S THE TARDIS!" I scream. I start running over there. It's basically on the other end of the field. Well, in one of the corners. A good way away. But I'm running over there, towards the blue box. And tripping in pot-holes along the way, and almost falling on flat on my face, and feeling like a right idiot running in riding boots, and not caring that I'm feeling like an idiot because I'm running towards the blue box and then halfway there I start blinking repeatedly and then I actually do fall flat on my face because I tripped in a stupid pothole, bleh, and then I realize that it isn't the blue box I think it is.
And then I realize that I'm just looking at the back of it. And then I jump around in circles, trip again, stop jumping around crazily and keep being crazy but controlledly so, and I then I wait.
Wow, the seconds tick by really slowly when you're waiting for the TARDIS door to open in front of you.
And out comes the Doctor (David Tennant regeneration, of course; he's the first one I saw and I've kinda become attached to him and wouldn't it make sense that it's him anyway?) and Rose.
"But aren't you trapped in a -- no wait, that might not have -- oh, this could be in between -- but then when exactly -- oh whatever, I'll just ask," I think aloud.
I do that a lot.
I walk over to them. The Doctor's looking around like, Is this the right place? and Rose is looking at him like, Where has he taken me this time? and I'm looking at them like Oh my god I can't believe this is real and they're right in front of me and this isn't a dream or --
"Hi, I'm Lucy Turnenbaumerumm," I say; "and I know who you two are. You're the Doctor, and you're Rose. And no, you don't meet me in your future," I answer to the question I can guess that the Doctor is wondering. "And my last name is a bit of a, well, it's not my real last name, cause, you know, I'm gonna want to preserve this for posterity and what not, you know, fanfiction."
"Ahh, fanfiction," the Doctor answers. He looks at me again. "You're not a rabid fangirl, are you?" he asks suddenly.
"Nope!" I reply brightly. "Not rabid, anyway. I doubt I'm even doing you a justice in writing this." I think about this for a moment. "Nope, I'm definitely doing you an injustice by writing this."
There's a bit of awkward silence.
"Why're you here?" Rose asks. "Why are we here?"
"A tiny rip in the space-time continuum. It's over there," I explain, pointing to where the giant leaf is.
"I can fix that up in a second," the Doctor replies. I don't doubt him, but I also know that without it, I would have no way of getting back to my parallel dimension where the Doctor is only a character in a tv show and I don't want to go just yet. "Which parallel dimension are you from?"
"The one where you're a tv show character."
"Ahh, I love that one. Don't visit often, 'cause it would, you know, cause a huge problem and you would know about it, and then I'd have rabid fangirls after me, and blah, blah, blah. Which season are you up to?"
"Fourth season. Just finished it. The ending makes me depressed. And happy at the same time. And I think she would have liked it better if you could have un-regenerated in your duplicate," I add to the Doctor, who, obviously, knows exactly what I'm talking about, because he nods knowingly.
Which is hard to do if you have no idea what's going on.
"What?" Rose asks, confused.
"You'll find out soon enough."
"Or not so soon enough."
"Oh, you're still in the second season?"
"We just finished -- hmm, what's it called -- the one with the werewolf. Tooth and Claw, I believe it's called."
"Ah. I like that one. My favorite's still Shakespeare, though." The Doctor nods, remembering his future.
"What are you two talking about?"
"I'll tell you some other time; now I need to fix that rip in the space-time continuum. How did you know about it?"
"Well, I was riding -- at horseback riding camp, and these horses spooked, and since I've become obsessed with your show recently I got to thinking about it, and rips in the space-time continuum, and the idea just sort of popped into my head."
"Well, Lucy, you were brilliant." I smile.
"You say that to everyone."
"Do too, and I can prove it. I've seen the end of the fourth season." The Doctor sighs.
"Wait a sec!" I say, and pull my cell phone out of my pocket. "I have to get a picture with you guys -- at least my friends will think I met David Tennant and Billie Pipper! Which makes me AWESOME!" I hand the cell phone to Rose and get her to take a picture of me and the Doctor. And then him to take a picture of me and her. And then I make them take duplicates in case the first ones somehow get deleted. Then, I lead them over to the gigantic leaf.
"That's one big leaf," Rose says.
"Yes, but compared to all of time and space, it's minuscule. Bye!" I wave, and them I fall into the rip in time and space and I know that I'll never get back there because the Doctor's fixing the rip, but you know, if I tried I could probably rip it apart again but I don't have the right tools at camp and it would kinda be wierd for me to come to camp with time-space-continuum-cutting scissors, 'cause those things are HUGE and they would never fit in my cooler, which would be a problem, because then I couldn't sneak them out of the house. If I could ever find them in the first place.
And then, I run back to camp, like back to the barns, and I ask the arts and crafts teacher to get me a pen and a piece of paper to write down little snippets so that I don't forget the idea, and when I come home I can write it.
And so, at nine o'clock at night, I start writing this huge rambling story thing, and I don't finish until almost eleven, but that's because I'm watching Doctor Who in between, which makes it all better.
A/N: I may continue this, at some point in the future. Whenever the inspiration strikes me.
Like right now, I just wrote a 299-word little blip to come after this, that also happens to be a transition from Tooth and Claw to School Reunion.