Chapter 1 : From Bleak to Bleaker
Okay, everybody, here's the start of one wacky sequel. Hope you like. I don't own anybody except Carid.
It had been two weeks since Molly Hale came to live with the Ketchums because her father had a mental breakdown (and got executed). In fantasy, having five children , a Mr. Mime, an over-optimistic mother, and a an over-douchy father, this should have been the perfect household. In reality, it was hell.
" MOOOOM ! Molly stole Pikachu again ! "
Fourteen year old Ash Ketchum ran down the stairs, his face in a huffy state. Giovanni looked right at him. " Are you that stupid ? Your mother said that she was going to be at Oaky's lab today, " he muttered, rolling his eyes.
Ash glared at his father. " Since when do you have kitchen privileges ?! "
" I don't know...maybe since those stupid molesting sea creatures almost killed us all and the fact that I've been paying rent for three weeks now ! "
" Hmph. Or is it that you slept in bed with Mom last Tuesday ? "
Giovanni paled. " Why, you little son of a bi- "
" Hey ! Can't you two quit it for five minutes ?! "
Misty, Carid, and Domino glared at them. Domino held up a clock. " It's seven in the morning. Could you at least take this quarrel outside ?! "
" No...'CAUSE THIS IS MY HOUSE ! " Ash yelled.
" WELL, SHUT THE HELL UP ! " Misty barked.
Carid nodded as she smacked Ash. " And for the last time, please flush the damn toilet ! "
Molly came rushing down, grinning at Ash. " Lookie, Ash ! Pikachu's more adorable ! "
The yellow little rat had a pink bow on its head. Dressed in all pink, Pikachu gave a small whining noise.
Next to him was Persian, dressed in a frilly blue dress. Ash sweatdropped. " What the hell did you do ?! "
" I made him prettier. That's what, " Molly replied.
" He's a dude, not a chick ! "
" Eh. Teddiursa liked it ! "
" That's because it's a girl ! "
" Hmph ! Well, Persian seemed to like it ! "
Persian made a small wailing noise and gave a pitiful look at Giovanni, who groaned. " Uh, Molly ? Do you mind doing it somewhere else ? "
" Oh, you mean drown them ? "
O.O " NO ! "
Molly giggled. " So, Ashy, when is Auntie Delia coming back ! "
Ash glared at the eight - year old. " First off, we're not even related. Second, I have no idea. "
Misty sighed. " She said she was coming back around lunchtime. "
" Oh. "
Domino's eyes bulged. " Oh, crap ! The Boss finally found out that I've been missing work ! "
" Domino...I am your boss ! " Giovanni hissed.
" Oh. Right. "
Carid gave a small grin. " Maybe it's Floyd. He wanted to play Guitar Hero sometime this week. "
" Maybe it's Gary, " Ash murmured. " We could finally dump a certain someone in his dad's trash can. "
-.- " Don't think about it, Red. "
" You are no fun, Dad. "
Misty clapped her hands. " Maybe it's Dawn ! "
All of them raced to the door to find an eight - year old boy with blue hair and glasses standing on the front doorstep. Beside him was a Ralts, who was holding a PokeNav. The boy smiled. " Hi, Misty ! I didn't know you were here ! " he cooed.
It was none other than Max Maple, younger brother of May and son of gym leader, Norman.
Ash grimaced. " Max ? What are you doing here ? Are you with that kook Birch again ? "
Max shook his head. " No, I needed to get away from ho- who's this ?! "
He turned to see Molly, who smiled. " Hi. I'm Molly Hale. "
" I'm Max Maple. Nice to meet you. "
" Same here, Max. Uh...you're not a robot, are you ? "
Max started blushing. " Darn it, I wish that wolf creature would stop making rumors about me ! "
Molly also blushed. " Well, why don't you come in ? "
" I'd be delighted. "
Ash put his body between the two kids. " Hey, Mol, what gives you the authority to invite people inside my home ?! "
The girl grinned. " Well... "
SMACK ! MALLET ! PURSE !
The teenager fell to the floor as Misty, Carid, and Domino started beating the crap out of him. Molly took Max's hand and stuck her tongue out at Ash. " Well, that. "
" So, Max, why are you here ? " Misty inquired.
" Well, the usual. Dad's having a nervous breakdown, Mom's going psycho again, and May keeps trying to kill me by drowning me in the bathtub since she's jealous, " Max coolly replied. " You know, the typical family. Now that Mom's secretly seeing (and controlling) that Cianwood City gym leader, Chuck, she's been pretty violent. It was just two days ago that she tried to chop me in two with an axe. And Dad keeps losing at gym battles, so he's been heavy on the prescriptions. "
Carid patted him on the head. " It's okay, Max. "
Domino winked at the little boy. " Yeah, sweetie. You seem to have a companion that can relate to you. "
Molly nodded. " Yep. We're all buddies ! "
Giovanni, who looked half disinterested, scratched his head. " Great. We already have one retarded hyper kid in this house, and now we have to deal with some emotionally abused nerdy kid that plays Tales of Symphonia all day ?! "
Max looked at the older man. " Ash is the hyper kid, right, Mr. Mailman ? "
-.- " Yes, but I am not a freaking mailman ! "
" Oh. So...who are you again ? " Max asked, fiddling with his glasses.
" Uh, sadly I'm Ash's father. "
" Whoa ! Ash has a father ?! " Max exclaimed. " I thought Ash was adopted 'cause his parents dumped him in a garbage can when he was a baby ! "
Ash glared at Max. " You little bastard ! "
" Hey, didn't your mother warn you about cursing out the little kids ?! " Giovanni growled.
" And didn't you say you had a thing for my mom ? " Ash retorted.
" I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS, YOU LITTLE BASTARD ! "
Ash 'eeped' and ran outside of the house. Giovanni chased after him, with a belt in his hand.
The five other kids sweatdropped. Max turned to Carid. " Are they always like this ? " he inquired.
Carid blushed. " Every day, Max. Every day."
Delia glared at the two guys. " You'd think after living for about a month together would pit you two closer into a bond, but I guess it's hopeless. "
Ash cleared his throat. " I'd like to say in my defense that he wouldn't let me say any curse words at Max, even though he said I was an adopted dumpster baby. "
" Yeah... "
Giovanni stood up from the chair he was sitting on. " And I would like to say in my defense that Ash started it ! "
" Don't be such a douchebag, Dad ! " Ash cried. " Everyone knows that I am a happy little elfin creature. "
" More like a deranged goblin, if you ask me. "
" Oh, yeah ? Well, I'll give you some words. Stephen is the better dad. "
" YOU TAKE THAT BACK ! "
" I will...when you admit that you have a thing for Mom ! "
Delia groaned. " Sweetie, don't start this issue again. You're going to give your father a blood clot. "
Ash snickered. " No, he looks like he's gone on drugs. Better call the Betty Ford Clinic, Mom. "
" Hey, I'll admit you into a mental institution if you don't shut the hell up ! " Giovanni exclaimed.
" Should you really do that ? I still have records of you pissing in that bush. "
" And I have records of you pissing in your bed mulitple times ! "
" Heh ! Bring it on, old ma- "
SMACK ! PURSE !
" BOTH OF YOU STOP IT RIGHT NOW ! " Delia roared.
(Both) " Yes, ma'am. "
Delia smiled softly. " Good. Now, Max can stay with us as long as his parents are mentally disturbed. I don't mind. It just means that you and Misty will have to bunk together. I know you won't do anything wro- "
Ash scratched his head. " What was that, Mom ? "
It's eleven o'clock in the morning. Delia pops in Ash's room to find...
" OH, GOD ! ARE YOU TWO NAKED ?! "
Ash starts to blush deeply. " Mom, I'm fourteen. I wouldn't do anything like that. After all, I'm responsible. "
Misty snorts in laughter. " Liar, " she mutters.
Delia sweatdrops and stares at the two teenagers before slowly walking out of the room and running out of the house, very ashamed.
O.o " On second thought, you can sleep in the tent with your father, " Delia murmured, slapping a hand to her forehead.
Ash scratched his head. " Why can't I sleep with Misty ? "
" Uh...'cause she needs her space. "
" ...I DO NOT THINK LIKE THAT ! "
" That's what your father said. "
Ash sweatdropped. " Yeah...I'll do it as long as you don't tell me about that story, " he said, paling.
Delia sighed. " Fine. Here, why don't I make a deal with you to make you feel better about sleeping with your 'enemy' ? We'll go on a date tomorrow and you can have the house to yourself, as long as one of your friends (besides Gary) is with you. Would you like that ? "
Ash nodded. " Sure, I would love tha-...wait a minute. "
(Everyone except Delia) " DID YOU JUST SAY DATE ?! "
-.- " Yes. I said date. And I didn't think you kids wouldn't stoop so low as to eavesdrop, either. "
All the kids sweatdropped. Giovanni facefaulted. Ash started laughing hysterically. " HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ! That is soooo funny. But Mom, it isn't April Fools yet ! "
T.T " I'm dead serious. "
Ash stuttered for a full five minutes before fainting. Delia laughed. " Well, what do you kids think about it ? "
(All kids) " YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME ! "
" No...I'm not. "
In an instant all of the older kids rushed for the door. Domino giggled. " Oh, that professor dude is gonna be soooo jealous ! And Tracey is gonna crack up ! "
Molly sweatdropped. " Talk about gossip. "
Max wiped his glasses. " Are you sure about this, Miss Ketchum ? I mean, I don't know the mailman as well as you do, but I have a feeling that looks very bad. "
Delia softly patted Max's head. " Let's hope not, Max. "
(Next chapter preview : )
" Okay. I'd like a plate of shrimp, " Delia replied.
O.O " NOOOOO ! NO SEAFOOOOOOD ! "
" YOU STUPID PSYCHO ! NOT ALL SEAFOOD IS BAD, AND YOU KNOW i- "
Giovanni started banging his head with the menu. Delia sighed and turned back to the waiter, who sweatdropped heavily. " Don't worry - he'll stop after twenty minutes. "
O.o " Yeah...I'm gonna go now..."
The waiter quickly left and Delia bonked Giovanni's head with her purse. " Why can't you be less mental for a change ?! " she demanded.
" Why can't you quit acting like a bitch whenever we're ou- "
" Sorry. Bad habit. "