Summary: Lloyd wishes things hadn't turned out this way, but they have and there is no going back... Is there? ...There are Spoilers.

This is my first fanfic so I hope you will enjoy it.

Disclaimer: Namco owns Tales of Symphonia.

No Going Back

Chapter one:

Lloyd clung to the dwarf's thick neck as he peered back at the still body of his mother. The large tears mixed with the rain as it coursed down his cheeks and dripped from his chin. A quiet whine caused him to look down to the large green and white creature limping beside them. He looked away again, but found the bushes and trees had hidden his mother from view.

"Lloyd, you gotta eat something." The Dirk had just returned from burying the woman in a shallow grave next to his house. He had left the young boy at the table, along with a plate of bread and milk, but found neither touched.

The little boy looked up, his large brown eyes still wet with tears that threatened to fall. He bent his head and whispered, "Daddy?"

The dwarf shook his head sadly; "I don't know where he is lad."

Lloyd shifted in his chair, his small feet dangling above the floor limply. "..."

Dirk sighed, "I am sure he will come looking for you lad in the morning. Come now, why don't you rest while you wait for him." The dwarf attempted to sound reassuring, but his voice quivered with doubt. Luckily the boy was too young to notice. His head nodded slightly, shaking his spiky brown hair. His daddy would come in the morning, like the man said.

It had been 14 years and now Lloyd stood looking down at the place where Kratos had just lay before being warped away with Mithos. Yuan's words raced through his head, mingling with the memory. His father.

'All this time, all these years, his father had been alive.'

Lloyd looked up at the sky, focusing on the stars over head. 'But more than that, it had been Kratos.'

"Lloyd?" The swordsman turned at the sound of his name. Colette stood a few feet back, her blue eyes looking at him sympathetically. "Are you coming inside?"

Lloyd glanced past her, and saw his friends standing near the window and door of Altessa's house. He looked back at Colette and shook his head. "No. I am going to stay out here for a little while."

Colette hesitated then nodded understandingly. "Okay. We are going to Flanoir in the morning for a doctor."

Lloyd turned around nodding. He listened until he heard the door close and then he brought out his rehaird. He needed to think.

Soon he was flying over Ozette. The small village was nothing more than scattered rubble. He changed direction. Less than an hour later, he landed on the empty field before the tower of salvation. Stepping off the rehaird, he slowly approached the foreboding tower. Its height no longer amazing, but instead cold and sinister as the truth of its purpose was clear.

He stopped at the steps, staring forlornly at the open doorway, but sighed and turned away, instead walking towards the trees. Stopping next to one he seated himself at its base and leaned his head against the rough bark.

'Everything was wrong. The fight against Mithos, the reviving of Martel, and Kratos...things shouldn't have turned out like this. This was not how he had imagined the journey would end up.'

"I wish things could go back to the way they use to be." Unknowingly, he had spoken his thoughts.

"And why would you wish that?" A strange voice caused him to look up. Standing a few feet away was a blond hair boy.

Lloyd growled, "Mithos." Instantly standing his hands went directly to his swords. "What do you want?"

"Now Lloyd there is no need for violence." His voice held the child like innocence, making the swordsman hesitate momentarily.

Mithos smiled, "Very well." He said, giving a nod.

Suddenly Lloyd heard the rasp of swords and found two swords pointed at his neck. He gritted his teeth, but slowly released his grip on his sword's hilt. "What do you want?"

Mithos chuckled, and walked closer, "You are too soft-hearted Lloyd. It was a momentary weakness for Kratos too, though it is hard to imagine it."

Lloyd flinched at the mercenary's name. Mithos smirked. "I see that you are still tender about earlier tonight."

"..." Lloyd refused to answer the angel. Mithos grinned and jerked his head. Instantly a fist struck his stomach causing Lloyd to grunt in pain and kneel down. Instantly the swords disappeared and hands grabbed his arms and dragged back, slamming him against the tree. Another pained grunt escaped the swordsman.

Lloyd looked up and saw Mithos' childlike face, creased with anger and annoyance. "I don't like playing games, Lloyd." Mithos brought his face closer, "and I don't like the one you and your little friends are playing against me. You see you are placing a large dent in my plans and I refuse to allow it to continue."

Mithos expression suddenly changed, and he smiled, "Now, I can't grant your wish, though it had been my wish for many years. You should know the past can't be changed and there is no going back to change it. However..." Lloyd glared at the crazed boy before him, "Perhaps I can help you in some other way."

Mithos snapped his fingers and a Desian appeared and handed him an object. "Now this might hurt a bit." He grinned maliciously. "You might not want to struggle."

Lloyd however ignored his words and fought against the hands that held him, but only received another blow to the stomach, and another to the side of his head. His vision swam painfully and his eyes watered. He felt his left arm yanked upwards, and tried to resist, but another blow to the head sent his senses reeling again.

"All right, Lloyd, it's finished; though it may take a few days to actually start working." Mithos laughed maniacally. Then it disappeared altogether. The hands, which held him, released their grasp and he fell to his hands and knees.

"Dammit, Mithos." He paused and breathed deeply for a moment trying to clear his head, but suddenly his left hand burned, as if being stung multiple times and the pain coursed up his arm and through his entire body. Lloyd clenched his teeth as he struggled against the pain. Then pain suddenly vanished, leaving a numbing sensation in its place.

The swordsman attempted to brace himself to rise from the ground, but he was too weak and nearly collapsed altogether.

He felt dizzy and nauseous suddenly, and broke out in cold sweat as the heat slowly returned, and vanished again.

It repeated nearly three more times before it finally stopped. Lloyd's breathing was laboured as he slowly managed to rise from the ground. Sweat ran down his brow from the extreme exertions his body underwent. He staggered and made his way slowly towards his rehaird he had left out.

He reached the machine and leaned against it heavily as he caught his breath. "Mithos, you bastard!" He tried to shout at the tower that stood before him, but his voice was hoarse and the insult came out as a whisper.

He sighed, straightening when his head suddenly seemed to explode with pain and heat again. He screamed and clutched his head, in anguish. "Dad!"

Then everything went black.

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