Somehow, Yuuri thought it shouldn't have been this difficult.

Okay… given that he hadn't been home in almost four months and that his Mom had a nasty little habit of rearranging where the utensils and the rest of the dinnerware (he suspected sometimes that it was just to mess with the rest of the household), it was natural to get a little frustrated when he couldn't find a cup for his water.

And he only had five minutes — his dark eyes glanced up at the blue and green polka dotted clock hung on the wall above him — to leave his house and sprint three blocks before the charter bus taking him to his game would leave.

Growling slightly under his breath, the teenager dropped to his knees, clutching his baseball uniform in one fist and opening the cabinet near the sink with his free hand. Making a small cry of success, Yuuri snatched onto a clean glass before slamming the top of his head painfully against the wood, mistaken in thinking it had been a good idea to lift his head up at that very moment.

"Ow…! Damn…"

He didn't have time for this.

Massaging at his throbbing scalp through his black hair, he squinted an eye and carefully rose himself to his feet. No seeing double. No concussion. Gripping onto the powder blue countertop, Yuuri just so happened to look in the direction of the hallway.

The clock nearby stopped ticking.

For a millisecond — he almost didn't catch it, it had been that quick — something very white and fluffy streaked from one end of the hallway to the other.

Very confused at the present time and wondering if the bump was that severe, the Japanese teenager continued to rub his head as he peered through the doorframe into the hallway. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The polka-dotted clock, strangely enough, started ticking again. The sounds of a bathtub being filled in the next room.

Wait a minute…!

There was no one else in the house to turn the faucet on…

Clutching his white uniform to the front of his gakuran protectively, Yuuri slid himself across the opposite wall to the family bathroom. Very slowly, he looked, not really expecting any particular kind of stranger wanting to take a bath in their house.

To his surprise, no one was there. Just the large porcelain bathtub gradually filling up with steamy water.

Beside the little white rabbit preparing to leap into it.


"What the—!"

With a sploosh!, the furry creature dove headfirst into his overflowing bathtub. Soon after Yuuri joined him, rushing forward with outstretched arms with the good intentions of rescuing the supposedly suicidal animal and instead accidentally slipping on the wet tiles near the lip of the tub.




This dark, rapid whirlpool looked familiar somehow.



"Oh…oh, are you injured, young man?"

Who was talking to him? And why did they sound so… squeaky?

Opening very heavy eyelids, Yuuri discovered himself to be lying on his back in a very green meadow somewhere. Hunched over him, fiddling with a big gleaming golden watch between his paws, the white rabbit stared into his eyes at a very close range.

Several things passed Yuuri's thoughts.

This rabbit had very purple eyes.

This rabbit was not a rabbit at all. It was a small man with flowing lavender-colored hair merely dressed in a fuzzy white rabbit suit.

He knew this man.

This man was starting to get a nosebleed.

Scrambling away to avoid the first drops of blood, Yuuri exclaimed loudly, "Günter!"

The rabbit-man blushed profoundly, opening his mouth to gasp, "Dear Shinou's belt! You are simply an enchanting creature. First you appear out of thin air with your commanding and regal dark hair and eyes but you know my name as well? No one has ever called me by my real name before!" He bounced once excitedly, twisting in midair, before landing solidly; little pink hearts began to form in his pupils.

"I didn't appear out of thin air!" Yuuri argued, "I was following you into my bathtub…and…where are we…?"

"The realm of Wonder. Just outside the Fork In The Road and the Twig Forest." Günter twirled his watch and became bug-eyed, staring horrified down at it. "Oh dear! Oh dear! I'm going to be late! And I haven't brought proper tribute for the Queen!"

In the middle of his frantic self-remanding, as if by a magnetic force, the long-haired man drew his eyes down to gaze at Yuuri's soaked garments.

"This will have to do!" He ripped the white baseball hat from Yuuri's limp right hand.

"Hey! Where are you going with that! I need—!" Yuuri hesitated, a sickening realization seizing up the walls of his stomach that prevented him from chasing the other male. The bus had left already. It's not like he could go at any rate. This is what it felt to be stuck.

And why did it feel so FAMILIAR…—!—?

Throwing down his dripping clothes into the tall grass, he groaned.

A pair of floating large black eyes with glasses and a large toothy grin materialized over his baseball shirt accompanied by an amused chuckle. "Lost, Shibuya?"

Holding back the urge to let out a terrified womanly shriek worthy of any horror movie, Yuuri nearly fell over a hidden rock in the meadow from the force of stumbling backwards.

"Do you need to find your way home? I could help if you want."

Emerging fully into sight, lodging lazily across his things — a male no older than himself with spiky black hair and wearing a pink and purple striped shirt. The matching cat ears and tail were a bit much though.

Murata's grin broadened at Yuuri's shock.

"Nice to meet you."

One of Yuuri's dark eyebrows twitch up disbelievingly. "You…would be the Cheshire Cat…"

"Ah, so you are finally seeing the pattern." The cloth-like tail flopped back and forth silently as the other teenager pushed up the nose-brim of his glasses with the tip of his left ring finger. "Well, would you like my help or not?"

"It depends. Am I going to be seeing anyone else I know?"

Murata replied cheekily, closing his eyes serenely, "It depends if you decide to move forward or not."

"That really helps," Yuuri murmured, sarcastically.

The cat-boy pointed sharply towards a dirt road winding out of the green meadow, never relenting on his 'I-know-something-you-don't-know-and-I-love-rubbing-it-in-your-face' attitude. "Down there is the Fork In The Road. That should take you to where you want."

"Should I start calling myself Alice?"

"You shouldn't waste time." Murata cocked an eyebrow from behind a lens critically in his direction as Yuuri purposely turned away, patting himself off.

"Hai, hai…"

"We'll be meeting again soon."

When he looked back down the road, the other boy was long gone.

"It's an actual fork. I shouldn't be surprised."

Sighing, Yuuri scratched his temple as he approached a rather giant silver dinner utensil protruding from the ground. "So, why did he say go here?"

"Do you mind keeping quiet? I'm trying to concentrate."

"Gomen…" He answered the gruff disembodied voice automatically before realizing that he had, and that in fact the voice belonged to someone. Sitting high onto of a tall, soft-looking mushroom, Gwendal glared down at him, two knitting needles in each hand. Yuuri visibly cringed at the look, laughing ruefully and touching the back of his neck, "So, uh, the Caterpillar right?"

He wouldn't expect Gwendal to ever suppress his dignity and pride long enough to dress in a ridiculously puffy and colorful caterpillar costume.

"Who are you?"

"U-uh…" The black-haired boy straightened up, trying his best not to blush as he whispered loud enough for the older man to hear, "I think I'm Alice."

This answer seemed to satisfy the older man enough. Yuuri watched on bewildered as the gray-haired Commander held out a disfigured stuffed animal to him. "Would you like a Bearbee?"


Taking it from him, the teenager tucked it under his left arm and asked, "Could you help me? I need to get back home. I followed a guy in a rabbit suit down my bathtub into this whirlpool and then he stole my hat. I've missed my game and my parents might get worried—"

"Would you mind reciting the seats of the ten nobles families? In order of where they sit to your right."

Yuuri's mouth slipped open. "Huh?"

"No, I suppose you wouldn't know that yet." Gwendal's wrinkles burrowed deeper as he paused from knitting a bearbee torso, his dark blue eyes returned over the mushroom. "Look for a little cottage in the middle of the Twig Forest."

"Is that where I can find my way home?"

Already done talking and now ignoring, the man concentrated solely on his task.

Disappointed in his lack of a response, Yuuri smiled gratefully anyway, waving. "Thank you very much for your help!"

Unknown to him as he took off sprinting into larger and separate dirt path, the older male smirked faintly at his enthusiasm.


The secondary title: "Why You Shouldn't Trust Cabinets." XD

Yeah. Um. I was standing in my kitchen, opening and closing my refrigerator door because I was bored, listening to the clock and this brainchild was born. I know the Alice in Wonderland idea has been used in KKM already but I have different characters for different parts. I was not following the exact plotline of Alice because I haven't read it in AGES…and this is a humor piece…so if you are going to pick this apart based solely on that then don't bother. This is indeed a two-shot. Too much to throw at it for it to be just one part. Reviews are most appreciated. I want to know if you are at least amused! :D