Attention: D. Gray Man does not belong to me, nor do its characters, buildings, etc. ((I would rather enjoy owning Kanda, though, as I am sure many other fans would...winks)) Also, any events, names, or places named/written in the future that are markedly similar to anyone else's work, I'm sorry for any coincidence, but all of this is purely from my imagination. I do not copy people's work. EVER.

Chapter One: Awaken

Allen woke up, her own hand muffling the scream that burst from her mouth. Tears streaking down her face, she gasped for air through her fingers. A sob escaped her lips as she pressed both hands together to cover her face. The name that pulsed in her mind was an unexpected one for her to show concern about, for he was nothing but an anti-social bundle of hate, but never-the-less, Allen leaned forward and whispered, "Kanda... Oh...Kanda..."

Her sleep had been disturbed by a nightmare that horrifically depicted a certain swordsman's death. Worry swept through her body irrationally, and she became terrified that that dream was real. That it went beyond her imagination. Eyes wide, Allen shot up from the bed, and, dressed only in a white, button-up shirt and her pants, she bolted from the room, headed for Komui's office. Half-way there, Allen slowed down, some bit of rationality coming to surface in her mind.

She couldn't barge into Komui's office. And she certainly couldn't publicly admit that she had been crying and worrying over Kanda; Yuu Kanda, the heartless bastard. And someone would eventually tell Kanda of her bout of insanity, and then the hell that she would suffer for showing more "unnecessary weakness". Swallowing, Allen pushed the worrying to the back of her mind and began a trudging walk back to her room. First order of the day, now that her reason had been restored, was to shower and properly dress. At that thought, she remembered that she was not "bound" in the necessary places and picked up her pace to her room. It would not be good if someone noticed that the already feminine Allen Walker had an excessive chest for being male. Never mind the fact that Allen just looked all around a mess.

The white-haired, female-in-disguise, exorcist made it safely back to her room, without running into anyone, or even really seeing that many people in the hallways. When Allen realized that there were too few people roaming, she checked her watch to discover that it was six o'clock in the morning. Way too early for her, and most others, to be awake. Sighing, Allen opened to door to her room and collapsed on the floor with an overly-dramatic flourish. She was slightly ashamed of her presumptuous behavior, and was glad that she had not made it all the way to Komui's office.

After a few minutes of gathering her pride, Allen finally made it into the shower, washing her hair with an unscented shampoo, to her disappointment.

"Just once," she grumbled under the steamy water, "I would like to feel like a girl again...Girly shampoo, body lotion, painted toenails, the whole bit." A minute's thought later, she finished, "Okay, maybe not the painted toenails...I don't wanna be that girly." She turned the water off and began the long process of drying off and dressing.

By the time Allen had completely, flawlessly become Allen Walker the male, she could think clearly and rationally, but was still really worried. She had confidence that she could go down to Komui's office in the Science Department and ask, with completely normalcy, what exorcists had come in, what exorcists were still out, and if she had a mission.

Her stomach grumbled fiercely, interrupting her thoughts and reminding her of her situation as a Parasitic-type Innocence-wielder, which required her to eat obscene amounts of food.

Allen left her room and headed along the well-memorized path to the cafeteria. Jerry the cook was in the kitchen, whipping up massive amounts of food in order to feed the numerous finders and not-so numerous exorcists. Allen stood waiting for her turn to order her food, and when it came time to stand before the extremely happy chef, she immediately began listing her foods of choice. A full minute and a half later, Allen moved aside to await her food patiently. It had become almost a ritual for her since she had moved into the Black Order's head quarters to become an exorcist, one that occurred every morning, noon and night, though this morning, Allen was up considerably earlier than usual.

"Good morning, Moyashi-chaaan!" Lavi, the red-headed Bookman Junior cried gleefully as he entered the cafeteria, his one visible emerald eye beaming at Allen.

"Good morning, Lavi." Allen responded, waving a little with her Innocence-deformed arm. Jerry placed Allen's extensive order of food in front of the white-haired exorcist, who pulled it into her arms and carted it off to an empty table. Lavi ordered a simple few pieces of toast and juice, then joined Allen at the table she had chosen.

Lavi chattered happily about a book that he had read from the Dark Order's extensive library. Though Allen was barely paying attention, she picked up on that it was about ancient Grecian history. She sighed, chewing idly on the ball of sweetness sitting on the tip of a stick. She really favored the treat known as mitarashi dango, but she just didn't feel like eating. Worry was too strong in her mind, worry for that sour, rude, arrogant, foul-mouthed, violent, black-haired exorcist. Did she mention rude? Seriously! There had to be a really, really, exceptionally good reason for someone to be as much of an asshole as Kanda Yuu. Sighing again, Allen put down the now-empty stick on her plate, pushed the tray forward, and plopped her head on the table, on top of her folded arms. She was so immersed in her thoughts of concern that she didn't notice that Lavi had stopped talking.

"Allen? Allen, what's wrong?" Lavi asked. He leaned forward to look Allen in the face and was surprised by the forlorn look on her face. His eyebrows came together in a frown as he poked Allen in the shoulder. Allen looked over at him in surprise.

"Allen, what is wrong?" Lavi reiterated. As Allen was about to speak, Lavi cut him off.

"And if you say 'nothing', I'll tie you up with that ribbon of yours and sick Komurin on you." he threatened. Allen looked at Lavi with sad, but happy eyes, blue orbs that clearly said she appreciated his concern, and was deeply touched. But, when she tried to voice her concerns, what it was that had her bothered, all she could do was open her mouth and close it, no sound being emitted. She gave up, and her bottom lip trembled in a very minor movement, one that was barely detected by Lavi. Her eyes moistened a little at the edges, and for only a brief moment longer were her eyes soft with concern.

When she realized how close she was to crying in public, her grey eyes grew hard with determination. Lavi sighed and stood up from the table, grabbing Allen's tray and his own, taking them to Jerry, the eccentric, pink-haired cook. He walked back to the table that he and Allen had shared, hoisted her up by the back of her exorcist coat, and pulled the very confused Allen Walker from the cafeteria. This continued further into the corridor, until Allen's indignant protests got to Lavi, who let her up.

"Follow me, now, Allen-CHAN." Lavi said, clearly emphasizing the femininity of the suffix. Allen winced.

Three months ago, Lavi had figured out her secret. Allen was glad that she had gone undetected from Lavi's radar for that long. At that point, they had only known each other for two months, give or take a week. Allen had been at that unfortunate time of the month when she was at her most emotional, and at one point, while in an argument with Kanda, her voice had risen too high for a normal male, despite her young age, or so that was what Lavi had said. Allen believed that Lavi had figured out through a more embarrassing manner, but he viciously denied, stating that his pride as a "connoisseur" of beautiful, older women, that he would never look at a female younger than himself. Allen didn't quite believe him, but at least part of that statement had some truth; he did much prefer the older women.

To Allen's great relief, Lavi promised to keep it to himself, but being the dedicated Bookman he was, he asked Allen that he could at least record it somewhere...private. Allen had agreed, but threatened on risk of Lavi's life at Kanda's hands (she didn't have a plan at the time, but as the months passed, she had come up with a few), that he not tell anyone or allow the entry to be seen by anyone. Lavi had also agreed, sealing their pact with a chaste kiss on her forehead, and the following words, "I wouldn't allow anything to cause you pain, Allen-chan. You're secret is my secret." Allen had trusted those words, and still did even as Lavi lead her away to some secret place where he would pester her with questions.

To Allen's slight surprise, Lavi lead her to the library, where a few finders and the Bookman were reading and researching. Lavi waved his hand casually in dismissal at the Bookman's glare, leading Allen to the stairs at the back of the library, leading to the more secluded, upper level.

When Lavi was satisfied with their location, he turned on Allen immediately.

"Tell me." he commanded, not without some gentle tones in his voice. Allen seated herself on a chair and began to tell of the disturbing dream she had had the previous night. Lavi listened intently, following every word, occasionally asking a question about a detail there, a symbol here. Finally, Allen told of her awakening, rushing to Komui's office, turning back half way, and then going to breakfast.

When she was finished, Lavi patted her hand softly, speaking his next words with a kind gentleness.

"I am sure that Yuu-chan is just fine..." he said, squeezing Allen's small hand reassuringly. Allen swallowed and wiped away a threatening tear, then leaned forward to capture Lavi in a hug.

"Thank you, Lavi," she murmured, sniffling. He rubbed her back soothingly. Allen began shaking as the first few tears streaked from her eyes. Her lip trembled as she bit back a sad cry that begged to be released. Lavi pulled her closer, comfortingly, soothingly speaking soft words of consolation. Silent sobs racked her small body, but her crying fit did not last long. She was an exorcist, and though female, took pride in her control over her emotions, and would not allow herself to wallow in a pity-party. When she was calm, she retreated from Lavi's embrace, wiping hastily at her tears.

"Thank you..." she murmured again.

"'S nothing." Lavi responded, averting his eyes from Allen as she recomposed herself. Though Lavi though of himself as her older brother of sorts, and held only the concern for her safety and such, it was still odd for him to see her cry. Some small part of him still looked upon her as a male, so that he would not slip up in front of anyone when talking about Allen, and seeing another man cry was abnormal and uncomfortable.

Allen gently rubbed the tears from her eyes, so as to keep them from reddening and swelling, which would make it evident that she had been crying to anyone who bothered to spare a seconds glance. A sudden ruckus in the downstairs area of the library turned both their attention to the railing. Lavi took a few quick strides over to the railing and looked down.

"Allen! Lavi! Where are you two?!" Lenalee called from the center of the floor, amidst disturbed readers and tables of books.

"What is it, Lenalee-chan?" Lavi called down. Lenalee looked up at him.

"Let me come up there, because I really don't feel like shouting." She said before making her way to the stair case. Lavi shrugged and sat back down in his chair. Allen looked better now, the expression of worry covered by her normal look of happiness. Lenalee entered their area, looking tired and flustered.

"I've been looking for you two for the past half hour!!" she huffed. Lavi shrugged an apology, and Allen muttered a slightly startled, "Sorry."

"Lavi, you have a mission. My brother wants you in his office ten minutes ago. Go now." Lenalee commanded. Lavi blanched and obeyed at her harsh tone, rushing from the library to obey her orders.

"Now, Allen. I wanted to tell you someth- Hey! Have you been crying?" she asked, reaching a hand up to Allen's cheek. Allen paled and brushed the stray tear away, as well as Lenalee's hand.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it," Allen said softly, turning away. Lenalee watched her for a moment, then her hand gripped her shoulder firmly and turned her back around.

"Allen Walker, you will tell me what is making you this upset! Now!!" she demanded, now both hands gripping his shoulders. Allen smiled weakly at her concern.

"I'm sorry, Lenalee...I can't. I don't think I could say it again." Allen explained, biting her lip. She bowed her head, trying to regain her composure. Not again! Not again!! She would not cry again!! She was stronger than this! It was just a stupid dream. A very realistic, stupid dream... Her chest hitched, her breath catching in her throat.

"No, damn it!" she hissed under her breath, throwing her arm up and knocking Lenalee's hand away. Lenalee could only stare after Allen with a shocked and sad expression. 'So that's why Lavi and Allen were up here?' she wondered, 'Because Allen had told Lavi?' Lenalee bit her lip, debating on whether or not she should follow Allen and be there for the suffering exorcist. Sighing in defeat, Lenalee headed slowly off to Komui's office. She had meant to tell some important news to Allen...

Well, that was my first chapter, hopefully with more to come... Review and whatnot as you like. It would be appreciated...I'll try to work harder to get another one up if you try harder to review/message. ((I'm fairly new to this whole process, so be kind..))

-Maze Puppet