Dislamer: Lame... Naruto is Kishimoto's property.

Warning: homossexual relationship with Sasuke and Naruto. Hm. Direct much?

Chapter 01

"Fox, anything abnormal in your perimeter? Copy."

"Nah…nothing different. Are we going home then? Copy."

"(Sigh.) You do understand that until we can't pinpoint the location of our target we won't move away from this mission, Fox. Grow up a little. Copy."

"Shut up! I say that it's pointless to make me stay here looking out for our target when your Byakugan can do this job more quicker than all of us four together. So, while Hawk could stay here using his perv eyes, we could simply return, have a niiiice shower and eat niiice ramen…copy."

"It's not a bad idea, Fox. Akamaru here is whining that he wants to eat decent beef. We basically have been eating only supplementary food tablets to keep us alive in this mission. Oh…copy."

"Yeah, I'm glad that you agree with me, Dog. We want food! We want decent sleep! Copy!"

"And I hardly believe that you're an ANBU shinobi, Fox. Copy."

"Shut up Hawk!"


"ARGH! COPY! Seriously, where's the need to say this pointless word when you're sure that someone ended his sentence?! Goddammit Copy!"

"We can't decide anything without the consent of our ANBU Captain. So what do you say, Deer? Copy."


"You're not sleeping, are you? Copy."

"I was watching the clouds Fox. Copy."

"It is very irresponsible of your part to ditch such important S-class mission to do your hobby Deer. Refrain yourself from such negligent actions. Copy."

"Troublesome. Right, Deer? Err…copy."

"Stop stealing my lines Dog. Copy."

"It's because you're too predictable Deer. Copy."


"Hey, did you guys realize that saying Deer sounds really near to Dear?! Oh god, we're ANBU Captain's lovers. (snicker) Copy."

"(Large Guffaw) That's 'cause our Cap'an couldn't choose a better codename. What kind of sane man would use such girlish animal?! BAMBI! Pfff…Copy. (restrained chuckles)"

"Ouch…that was a very low blow on Deer, Dog. You know that he chose it because of his clan's traditions. Though…yeah…Bambi…(chuckles). Copy."

"Sorry, you may want to be Deer's little bitch but I have to make clear to everyone here that I only go after boobs. Real ones, not from faggots! Okay, maybe some may put some silicon, but what's important that I only go after boobs! Ass! Vagi—"

"GOD, that's so disgusting Dog. Copy."

"That's the second time you interrupted someone Fox. Copy."

"I can't help when Dog turns God's greatest invention of the universe into something crude. Copy."

"This time I'd have to agree with Fox. Dog does degrade any decent female figure into a heap of coupling machine. Copy."

"That's just shows how he's just a horny dog in heat, Hawk. (grins wickedly) Copy."

"Hey, you guys can't be ganging up against me now! Damn! Copy."

"Enough, Dog, Hawk, Fox. Let's focus on the mission. Copy."

"Says the captain that was watching the clouds instead of investigating his perimeter! Copy!"

"I started to watch the clouds when you guys started to squawk all the time like gossiping old ladies. We're even. Copy."

"Ouch. In your face Fox. Copy."

"Shut up Dog. So, are we going home or not? Copy."

"No. We better survey the peripheral towns to search new clues. Perhaps the enemy sought refuge in one of them. Copy."

"Whaaaaaat?? But…but…RAMEN!"

"Copy, Fox, Copy."

"Whatever! Copy or not copy I want RAMENNNN!!"

"I want my comfy shower! Copy!"

"I want that delicious noodles with succulent soup and wonderful toppings, the enticing scent that seduce my nostrils, while its flavor brings me to the—"

"Fox, the way that you're describing your favorite food is downright disturbing. Copy."

"Now You are the one who's interrupting a conversation Hawk. Copy."

"Let's end this conversation before you both return to fight fiercely just like that time in the Chunnin exam. Ah…troublesome. Copy."

"Whatever. Though it is unnecessary to say that I would defeat the Fox this time anyway. Copy."

"WHAT?! Say that one more time you—!"

"Fox, Hawk, focus. I want Dog to survey Town A-1032, Fox A-1033, Hawk A-1034 and I'll go to A-1031. Was that clear to you? Copy."

"Alright. Copy."

"Understood. Copy."

"Okie dokie. Copy."

"So girlish Fox. Copy."

"Everybody says okie dokie stupid Dog! What's the problem of that?! Copy!"

"(another deep sigh) I want full reports every night to me by walkie-talkie and we'll meet in the spot B-55 after 5 days, at 2:45 am, local hour. Understood? Copy."

"Roger." The three other shinobis voiced together.

Naruto stretched his arms lazily for another boring day. The countryside people were extremely nice to him, cordial and polite even to a stranger such as him. He idly talked around with the salesmen, carrying today's groceries towards his flat. It was refreshing to feel free from the hateful gazes of the Konoha citizens, even though his body was screaming to come home from nostalgia.

The mission, which consisted to kill one of the drug-lords of the Fire country, was ordered from Godaime three months ago to complete it. It was already pre-determined that it would be a difficult mission, since they were dealing with one of the biggest opium dealers, a gigantic organization that had successfully succeeded on selling their drugs to shinobis all around the world, taking advantage of their psychological weakness from the exhausting tasks. Konoha itself had a quite numbers of junkies around and they were increasing steadily fast, packing the Konoha hospital with large numbers of patients, showing that it was another strong reason that they had to end this criminal organization.

Usually, for such gigantic magnitude of importance from such mission Tsunade would send more nins than just Shikamaru, Naruto, Neji and Kiba. However, in her opinion, she thought that they were talented enough to manage by themselves, as Konoha shinobis, after the Akatsuki assault, had depleted the numbers of active members in its town. They still had attached ties to the Fire lord, as in a sense that they couldn't halt most of their activities, even if it costs more dangerous lines than the usual.

Another reason for Tsunade, was she wanted to convince the councils (replaced with more honest people after the Uchiha's massacre revelations) that Naruto could finish an important mission such as this. Though the current ANBU captain wasn't him, it may cause an important promotion to the Kyuubi-holder and lead him closer to nomination of Hokage. Not to mention that the blond man was learning important leadership tips with Shikamaru (even though it quelled a little bit from his usual stubborn ways), the first step to command an entire village.

Naruto always hung up on his childhood dreams, more and more attaining a solid form after many conquests to show his prowess. Although his primary objective was to be recognized by everyone (which was something that he now accomplished to achieve, thankfully) the sources of being a high-ranking official was broader, way more broader then being a simple soldier. Which meant that maybe this time, he would be able to find the Bastard. (With reasonable capital letter B towards the infamous nickname)

Since the last attack of the Akatsuki, he hadn't seen the stupid asshole for more than two YEARS ago. Whines and puppy eyes didn't faze out the old woman from giving more information about his lost friend. They were pummeled (literally) to the ground. Trying to find external clues as well as paying tips at the black market didn't help either. No arrows pointed out to any kind of concrete shadow. No Uchiha Sasuke was revealed in the world.

Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingertips, the bad mood already invading his heart. He needed to concentrate on his work…and thinking of that idiotic teme wouldn't help the task in any way. Whenever he neared to fail any mission, he would automatically blame the raven-haired bastard for assaulting his brain. Annoying from the start to the very end, with or without his physical presence. Naruto snarled to himself again, for his track mind went offset from the previous intention. Stupid teme…

Why did he even bother to find the bothersome Uchiha in the first place anyways…? Oh yeah, because Sasuke was his best friend. Hard to remember lately, since the bastard disappearance made it difficult for Naruto to remember anything about the Uchiha.

Okay, that was a lie. The blond man did remember each detail from the brooding asshole, each inch of his muscles, the horrible chicken-ass hair, the anti-graviting black locks, the pale sickening skin, so white that he could see blue veins on his forehead (transparent skin, ew!), the infuriating graphite eyes, that always taunted him to mash that conceited snort from the idiot and his expressionless face, well, almost expressionless, he had two versions: brooding and smirking face.

And despite every flaw from the asshole teme, Naruto, who he considered to himself now the most idiotic person in the world, had fallen in love with the Bastard. Naruto chuckled. Well, not everything in his life could be peachy perfect huh?

He could never understand why he had this abnormal infatuation towards the jerk idiot. Neither he could remember since when he started to have those embarrassing mind-numbing feelings against what he always considered to be a brother to him. Though he DID remember when he started to lift some doubts towards the duck-butt hair bastard. It was right in the Akatsuki final battle, when he saw Sasuke in the enemy lines, a dull-aching pain immobilized his entire body, as his mind screamed that everything was just wrong.

However, five minutes later, when the same traitor of Konoha turned his back and started to attack Uchiha Madara with his team Eagle and turned to be a traitor of Akatsuki, his heart fluttered and soared, more happy and contented then he ever felt before. It was in this millisecond (millisecond because he couldn't waste his time to think in serious battle) when Naruto finally reached an epiphany that something was…slight different. He'd never felt such extended and deep feelings towards any other person in his world. No one. Not Iruka, not Kakashi and even not Sakura-chan.

After all the confusion and several months of uninterrupted war, Konoha emerged victorious and Akatsuki was completely destroyed. The Jinchuuriki searched everywhere for a hair or hide of his Bastard, any place, any hospital and…with a dread feeling on his gut, any mortuary.

It was in a dull day on summer morning when he received the news that Uchiha Sasuke, though still alive, vanished into thin air after leaving his team to journey alone. Suigetsu, when he was captured by Sai, told the Kitsune that the proud moron didn't seem to have any intention on returning to village.

So his quest for Sasuke's retrieval continued. Though his unknown emotions still craved to be uncovered from him, Naruto wasn't sure how he could solve this strange dilemma as he couldn't even start to understand how he could feel such strange things.

He had "a lot" of talk with Sakura (who blushed profusely and shook his head violently refusing to answer his question) he asked Iruka when they ate at the Ichiraku ramen (who choked and spat all the contents meters away and started to cry on how his child had been growing up so much) and questioned Tsunade afterwards (who paused a lot and yelled back at him embarrassed, saying that it'd better if he could stop asking such stupid questions when he could help her out signing the report papers). Naruto's journey to understand his own feelings still had a long road to cross.

However, it was only after five cups of beer, two bottles of rum, ten chunks of liquor and one bottle of scotch in a shady bar (all of them, courtesy from Kakashi) was when the blond felt sure that he was in love with the stupid chicken-haired emo-prick ice lodged on his ass Sasuke. And it was after two long long days of hangovers that this information finally sunk down in his head (and his toilet seat).

Naruto lifted his cerulean eyes heavenward. It'd be better if he could concentrate back on his mission or he'd never exit this town. Adorable and friendly town, but nevertheless, not the Konoha town. How he missed his damn ramen.

Up till now, they succeeded to assassinate not the primary head of the organization, though the important heads of each sector, administration, financial, cover-ups and gathering of information. For some criminal group, they were helluva well-structured people. Naruto momentarily cringed at the thought. If they could be so efficient on this ways, why couldn't they used their talents for the goodwill of society…? The blond man took back his mind on tracks when he imagined how chaotic they should be by now, after they eliminated the central pillars of that organization. Criminal or not, every human needs one each other to grow infinitely and support to evolve even further. Everybody needs bonds.


How the hell did he ended up thinking about Sasuke again when five seconds before he was imagining about fat guys running all around desperate like headless chickens…?

Naruto waited for the sun to fall and wore his ANBU gear, prepared for another excruciating night. From the hoax he heard from the townspeople, the biggest mansion of the village just harbored a suspicious man lately on those days. He was going there to confirm it.

Putting on his porcelain mask with drawings of a fox face, he jumped gracefully, his presence disappearing at the full moon.

He idly wondered if the Bastard continues to haunt his mind forever, he'd beg the baachan to make a surgery to remove this "awful" tumor. The Fox snorted.

Stupid teme…

author notes: yeah yeah, you guys can kill me later. If anything appeases you a little bit, I won't abandon the previous fanfics (and won't purposely slow down the updates) and this fanfic will be SHORT. (pauses) I think. I blaaaaaame this fic, which infected my mind and I couldn't write anything else before I write this first chapter. lol.

Reviews are much appreciated in any type of wayyyy... :P