A/N: The one pairing I love to bits. You just have to forgive me. Inspired by the doujinshi called "Kadaj Mania". Oh man. Give me more RufusxKadaj. I'll take it anytime xd
They had no meaning. No future, no realtionship to speak of. They were nothing together, they were everything when apart. They had no meaning whatsoever. No sense.
Kadaj knew that. It was right, this way. When all that mattered was sex and sex and sex. And Mother, the only thing in his existence (could he really call it life? No. No, life was something else entirely and in his stupid, hopeless, senseless existence, only at certain times he felt alive...) that was really important. The most important. Even more important than this... than this.
Because this was not important at all, was it? It was just sex. Just some pleasure that they brought each other before the end would come. Before the Reunion Kadaj's heart craved.
Or did it? Did he really only want to die, just because Jenova - Mother - has decided so? Did he really wish for the Reunion that would surely kill him, bringing back Sephiroth, Mother's "Choosen One"? Did he? Did he? No. No, no, no, no. But he was not allowed to think otherwise. He was only allowed one dream, and that was the dream of that cursed Reunion. So he chose to believe that he'd wanted it. He chose to believe that he wasn't being forced to do something he didn't want.
It was easy to believe. Frighteningly so.
And that meant, this was nothing. A way to spend time before he would kill the man that did this to him. A pleasureable way to pass the time that would otherwise had been spent thinking about unneccessary things. Like life and living and...
'Oh gods!...' He screamed, his train of thought broken as that spot inside of him was hit and he was reduced to a moaning and screaming whore once again. And was it so wrong that for this, he would want to give up on Mother, the Reunion, everything, just to have more of this, and more, and more?
But they had no meaning. He and Rufus ShinRa, they had no meaning. Even as the Shachou fucked him again and again, giving him more pleasure than he deserved, there was nothing to it.
Just a way to spend time before the fated Reunion. Just a way to spend time before dying... So, nothing. No sense. No meaning whatsoever. No-thing.
Why did Kadaj want it to mean anything so desperately, then?...