Lily waited by the portrait hole for James. By a quarter past eleven she began to wonder if he was coming. The common room was all but silent which made the sound of footsteps descending the stairs from the boy's dormitories much easier to hear. James walked up to Lily and gestured towards the portrait hole. Lily thought it best to hold her silence for a while and stared at James as he walked along side her. She eventually found the courage to speak.
"James," he flinched and closed his eyes for a second but continued walking. "I'm really sorry for what I said." She let the apology hang in the air in hope that he would respond. He remained silent so Lily continued: "I had no idea, I swear."
"Lily," it was her turn to flinch this time. "It's okay. I know that you didn't know. Remus told me about it. I know that you would never say something like that, even to me." He mumbled the last part and audibly sighed. James paused as though he were having trouble getting the words out. "That's not why I'm upset with you."
This surprised Lily she had really not expected that. What else had she said or done that she didn't know about. Before she could think the question had already escaped her lips. "Then why are you?" She grimaced at how self absorbed she came across as.
"You don't care." He stated.
Lily was hurt. "That's not true James I-"
"Yes it is." James returned forcefully through gritted teeth. Lily knew better than to argue this point but was surprised when he continued. "That's why I'm upset Lily. 'You don't care.'" Every syllable was dripping with contempt. He had stopped walking and turned to her. His fists were clenched at his sides and he was staring at the floor again. "I love you Lily Evans and 'you don't care'. You told me to grow up, so I did; I haven't hexed or played pranks on anyone for two years."
Lily opened her mouth to interrupt him but he cut her off pre-empting her addition to this now very one sided conversation. "Except Snape, but we both know that he deserves it." He paused for breath and then unleashed what had clearly been pent up inside of him for months. His voice was scarily calm now. "I have given you nothing but compliments and shown you nothing but love for six years and you still 'don't care'. I haven't even asked you out in months, even though I wanted to. I just knew you'd shout at me again. Like on the platform, I was going to ask if you wanted to go to the prefect's carriage together. But you hate me too much to even listen." He spun on his heel and stormed away from her.
Lily ran after him shouting down the corridor and caught him by the arm. James spun around and looked her in the eye. He bent his knees and lowered himself to her level. He held her shoulders and with his face an inch from hers asked her:
"Why do you hate me?"
Without waiting for an answer he pushed her away and ran down the corridor as fast as he could. Lily stood shell shocked as he left her standing in the dark corridor alone.
Lily could not sleep that night. Everything that James had said to her was still running through her head. "Why do you hate me?" Lily could still not find an answer. She had been asked this question by girls at the school for three years after James had asked to the Christmas ball in fourth year. James had even asked her before with a smile on his face. But this time was very different. She had always responded the same way when asked. It had become like a reflex;
"Because Potter is and always will be an arrogant, bullying git."
It was only now as she lay on her four poster with the curtains closed that she realised she'd had the same blinkered view of James since their first year. He had said one innocuous little comment to her on their first day at Hogwarts and she had never forgiven him even though he had apologised seconds afterwards. He hadn't even needed to apologise he had said that she was pretty…
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Lily remembered that day as their first at Hogwarts. She had just been sorted into Gryffindor house along with Alice, Mary, Sirius, Remus, Peter and James. Although they had just a few seats away from each other in the Great Hall after sorting Lily had not yet spoken to James. They had been led into Gryffindor common room by Luke Johnson the current Head Boy.
"Okay, first years gather round come on." The scared first years none of whom were over five feet tall huddled around Luke who towered over them. Luke beamed he was clearly enjoying himself. "Right this is the common room where you will spend most of your time except for eating and classes. The staircase to your right leads up to the girls' dormitories and to the left the boys."
"The way I remember it is that girls are always right!" One of the female prefects piped in. There were was a smattering of giggles from the group.
"Yes thank you, Sarah." Luke smiled at her. "Your welcome Luke" and she winked at him before heading up the girls stairs. Luke blushed furiously much to the further amusement of the first years.
Luke composed himself and continued. "I now have a question for you all. What are Gryffindors famous for?"
There was silence for a few moments before a shout came from a boy near the back who even in first year was taller than the rest. His scruffy black hair added to his height as it was sticking up in all directions. "Bravery and courage." He said proudly.
"Absolutely correct, now I need a male volunteer to show their Gryffindor bravery and courage!" He looked expectantly into the crowd. As did Lily all the boys were looking at anything other than Luke, except the boy who had just given the answer. He was practically jumping up and down trying to get Luke's attention. "I'll do it!" This made a girl in front of him jump almost out of her skin.
"Excellent," Luke finally responded to the boys pleas. "Come up here by the girls' stairs." He then raised his voice and addressed the whole common room. "Alright everybody gather round, this young man's going to try and get up the girls stairs!" There were murmurs and chuckles from all around as everybody got up and headed towards them. Before Lily knew what was happening she was been buffeted forwards and almost up the girls dormitories stairs herself. Someone walked past her at pace and stood on her foot as they passed. Lily was about to let her indignation be known when he spun around. It was the volunteer.
"Oh I'm really sorry was that your foot? Wow!" He stopped and looked at her as their eyes locked. After a few seconds which felt like minutes he realised that he was beginning to stare and Lily was getting uncomfortable. Lily looked up at him questioningly. The boy blushed and looked away. "Sorry… err again. It's just your eyes are really pretty." He mumbled this last part to the floor. It was now Lily's turn to blush. What do you say to something like that? "I'm James by the way, James Potter." He held out a hand to her and smiled. She took it and blushed some more.
"I'm-" but Lily didn't get chance to tell him her name as James was grabbed by Luke and pulled away from her. He looked at her and gave her hand a small squeeze before releasing it.
"Okay boys and girls gather round because-" Luke looked at James to query his name.
"James Potter." He announced proudly to the amassed Gryffindors.
"James here has taken up the Gryffindor challenge!" There was a small amount of applause. "Okay James your challenge is to get as far up though stairs as possible."
There was a pause. "That's it?" James looked suspicious and Lily thought that he had every right to be.
"That's it." Luke confirmed "When you're ready James." And with that he stepped back to watch James along with everyone else. Every eye in the common room was on James and he looked around at the faces looking back at him expectantly.
"Right here I go." He caught Lily's eyes and winked at her before running full sprint past her up the stairs. A siren blared as James' feet reached the third step and by the time he reached the seventh the stairs had turned into a slide! There was a thump and a groan as James stumbled and began to slide back down into the common room. James was soon lying flat on his face at Lily' feet wrapped up in his brand new overly large robes. The whole common room erupted with laughter and the laughter increased when Sarah came shooting down the stairs even faster than James had. Luke stepped right over James to help Sarah to her feet. Lily held out her hand to help James up which he took gratefully.
"Thanks." He was bright red but grinning from ear to ear. "Well, it looks like I've already fallen for you. The only question now is how long before you fall for me?" He leant forward and whispered the last part into her ear.
All of a sudden wolf-whistles and cat calls were echoing around the common room. Lily was mortified and embarrassed beyond belief. It was her first day at a wizarding school and she was already the person people were laughing at. She forced herself past James, Luke and Sarah whose lips were locked together and stormed up the stairs which had returned to there normal functional state.
"Hey, wait I'm really sorry." But Lily was already up the stairs and James knew that he could not follow. "Damn these stairs! Hey you, what's that girls name?" Though James was shouting his voice was slowly getting quieter.
"Err… not sure, something Evans I think."
"Evans! Hey Evans I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to-" But that was all Lily heard as she slammed the door to her new dormitory.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
She had avoided him from that point on for three years but couldn't stand by and watch as he hexed her friend Severus. Lily had later found out that he had made a flippant comment about what should be done with muggleborns. He was no longer her friend. It was nearly a year later when she found out the truth about that day. The wolf-whistles and cat calls weren't aimed towards her and James but towards Luke and Sarah. It seemed that everyone had been waiting six years for them to get together.
Just like in first year Lily still couldn't take a compliment as James had proclaimed many times. She did not know to react when James told her she had pretty eyes. No boy had ever complimented her before and Lily assumed that he was making fun of her. They spoke little in those first three years because they hung around in different social circles, Lily with Alice and Mary in the library and James in the common with the mischief-making Marauders. James would always smile at her when they did see each other while in class, the corridors, at meals or in the common room.
She had long ago come to terms with her crush on James but she dismissed any suggestions from Alice that he liked her; there was no way that the popular handsome James Potter would be interested in her. She had always blamed him for her lack of boyfriends and would use him as an excuse not to go out with other boys. The truth was that she had never looked at another boy in that way for over six years and that she would rather have an argument with him than spend time with any other boy. Lily had convinced herself that anything James did that impressed her, was an act, put on to try and 'woo' her.
She had looked for James' shortfalls based on her misconceptions of their first meeting in the common room. She had thought of him as arrogant and self-assured but now she remembered all those times he had not been so. She had seen him walk out onto the Quidditch pitch in their fourth year his first game after had made it onto the team. He was looking up into the stands and he and Lily had caught each others eye. "Good Luck" she had mouthed at him and then added a smile. He immediately grinned broadly and straightened up. He played amazingly that day and became a Gryffindor hero overnight. He asked her to the Christmas ball later that week. Lily did not know how to act around boys and so reacted as she had in first year, by blushing feverishly and running away.
Everything James had said to her in the corridor was true. He had been nice and kind to her even though she was horrible to him. He had only pranked people who had deserved it. He had only hexed those who openly insulted muggleborns like Lily or to defend those younger or weaker than him that couldn't defend themselves. He had grown up and he was no longer the immature boy who had asked her out every five minutes.
She had denied his feelings for her for 2 years but she could no longer do so after seeing them as clear as day in his eyes.
A/N Any reviews would be extremely appreciated. Like/dislike, fave parts/worst parts, etc. Thanks for reading!
The next chapter is up!