Disclaimer: Not mine.
Angst warning. Not so sure about this one. Meh.
Some days, she wants to hate him so much that it hurts inside. He's different now that the war's won. He's different, of course he's different, now that he's died and come back from it—seen his parents and Sirius and Lupin, seen Dumbledore—
He seems at peace, almost, and it makes her want to claw his face off, snarl ugly words until he breaks, until he's as lost and furious and hurt as she is.
Fred's dead. Her big brother's dead, but he's not Harry Potter, oh no, and he doesn't get to come back from it, won't ever come back from it. He's dead and he's gone and that's that, the end, no do-overs or second chances. Not for Fred.
And it's not like she wants Harry dead in his place, it's not like she'd ever trade the one for the other, because she loves Harry, too, even when she wants to hate him, even when she wants to hurt him.
But Fred didn't come back and Harry did, and she wants to scream at him, sometimes, ask him how he could just abandon her brother there, how he could've come back alone, how he could save himself and leave Fred to rot in the ground and in their minds.
She's already forgotten what his smile looked like—she knows it was wider than George's, but she can't picture it anymore. And the worst part is that she dreams of him, sometimes, and he's smiling and she sees it, sharp and clear as the real thing, but it fades away when she opens her eyes. Or, or she'll have a flash of memory when she's flying, there one second and gone the next, and it's like losing him all over again a hundred times a day.
It isn't right, it isn't fair, and she wants to know why Harry's the only one special enough to talk with the dead, anyway, and not just to them. People die and they don't leave ghosts but somehow they still find him, they still go to him; the dead love Harry enough to hang around, to be there for him when he's hurting and alone and scared and missing them so badly that it burns inside—
And some days she thinks Harry's not the one she's angry with at all.