Title: 50 Points From Slytherin
Author: Ugly.Beautiful
Genre: Humor
Rating: K+
Spoilers: None
Summary: Maybe making James Potter Head Boy wasn't such a good idea…
Word Count: 1,279
Warnings: I am an idiot.

Disclaimer: Yeah, Harry Potter is so mine. Pfft. Whatever.

A/N: Now betaed by Allie Meril on livejournal! Many thanks! Don't know how you people managed to read through this mess before! Lol. (07/15/08)

Albus Dumbledore was regretting the decision he had made over the summer which declared that James Potter would be Head Boy. He had assumed at first, of course, that it would be brilliant decision. James was well-liked by everyone (except the Slytherins, of course, but three out of four Houses wasn't bad), he was the Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and a fine student.

Dumbledore had overlooked the fact that not only did the Slytherin students hate James Potter, but that James Potter hated the Slytherins with an equal, if not more hot-tempered, fervor.

Which explained why, only a few weeks into term, he left his office and was immediately confronted by a throng of furious, red-faced Slytherins who looked so upset they could hex someone at the drop of a wand.

"My, my, is something the matter?" Dumbledore asked politely as he stepped into the hall and let the statue slide shut behind him. "I do hope it's nothing too serious."

"That stupid Potter!" one of the Slytherins snarled. "If I ever get my hands on him- oomph!"

The girl beside him elbowed him nonchalantly in the ribs, probably with more force than necessary if his expression was any clue, and spoke over his complaints. "You have to do something about Potter Headmaster, he's-"

"He's out of control is what is he!" A dark-haired boy to the professor's left frowned and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Has James been causing trouble again?" he asked politely, completely ignoring when the elbowed-boy indiscreetly spelled the elbowing-girl's shiny blonde hair orange.

"He's gone power-mad," someone from the back said.

Dumbledore frowned at this. Power mad? James Potter? Surely they were mistaken. "How-"

"I got twenty points taken because he said my jinxes were unoriginal and clichéd," the elbowed-boy said.

Dumbledore arched an eyebrow and, before anyone else could call out complaints, asked, "He didn't take points because you were jinxing someone?"

The boy jerked a thumb at the now-orange-haired girl beside him. "I was jinxing her." The boy rolled his eyes. "Guess jinxing other people is alright as long as we're jinxing other Slytherins."

The Headmaster nodded. "Well that's-" Once again, he was interrupted, this time by another group of Slytherins speed-walking down the hallways towards them. They were almost running, but not quite, since Lucius Malfoy and his band of Sunny Slytherins did not run, they hurried in a dignified manner.

But dignified is not what any of them looked at the moment. Dumbledore was sure, judging by the looks on their faces, that is any of them could have gotten their hands around James' neck, they probably would have suffocated him to within an inch of his life.

"James Potter," Lucius hissed, "removed twenty points from Slytherin because my hair is too long."

"Take pride in the fact that that wasn't an insult, Lucius," Severus drawled from the back of their group. "I was docked the same amount of points because my hair is," his upper lip curled back in disdain, "too greasy."

"He took five points from me because he said my bag is out of style," a pigtailed girl in the front of the first group said, looking as though she would burst into tears at any moment. "But it's not!"

"Twenty points were removed for me on the grounds that my dear cousin Sirius does not like me," Bellatrix sneered, holding her wand so tightly her knuckles were white.

"Ten points from me on account of I scored higher than him on the first Charms assignment," someone from the back called.

"Five from me because he didn't like my earrings."

"Twenty from me, Headmaster, for dating Lucius," Narcissa said softly.

"Fifteen from me for-"

But Dumbledore had heard enough. He held up his hands and they all fell silent. "I am upset that James seems to be abusing his status as Head Boy, I will see to this immediately. But in the meantime," he glanced idly at the watch on his wrist, "are you all not supposed to be in class?"

And so, still frowning and glaring, the Slytherins huffed angrily away to their classes, as Dumbledore pondered the best way to deal with this.

What an interesting dilemma… He had supposed James would grant more points to the Gryffindors than Slytherins, House loyalties and all that, but this was a little extreme. It seemed as though he'd gone a little point-taking-happy. Dumbledore wondered if Lily knew about this

When he reached the Charms corridor, Sixth year Hufflepuffs and Slytherins were just getting out of class. The Headmaster didn't have to look around for the source of the Slytherin's problem for long, since his voice suddenly echoed down the corridor.

"Ten points from Slytherin, Bulstrode, for those awful shoes."

The burly girl frowned, but surprisingly remained silent, perhaps hoping to avoid anymore unnecessary point-taking.

"Well, I award ten points to Slytherin since she restrained herself from hexing you," Lily Evans' voice called from the opposite end of the hall.

James looked affronted. "You… can't do that Evans!"

She sniffed. "Of course I can, Potter, I am Head Girl, or are you so dimwitted you've forgotten?"

He frowned, and instead of saying something back, called out, "Ten points from Slytherin for laughing at my expense to the girl in the glasses."

Lily's eyes shot sparks. "Ten points to Slytherin for being able to laugh at a pompous git for the girl in glasses."

"Fifteen points from Slytherin for that stupid haircut to the boy with the mohawk."

"Twenty points to Slytherin for daring to be different to the boy with the mohawk."

"Thirty points from Slytherin to…" James stopped suddenly, before a grin stretched its way across his face. "Thirty points to Slytherin for any snake who gets me a date with Evans."

Lily's eyes widened as the eyes of every Slytherin in the hall turned to eye her. If ever a room full of students looked like starving lions ogling a wounded gazelle, it was then. "Fifty points from Slytherin for anyone who tries it."

James' grin widened. "Abusing your power, Evans?"

"What?" Realizing what she had done, she opened her mouth, closed it, settled for huffing angrily, then pivoted on her heel and stomped away, anger in every step.

James watched her leave with a smile, which abruptly slid off his face when he realized everyone else was watching her as well. He frowned. "Fifty points from Slytherin for everyone staring at Evans."

Dumbledore, meanwhile, just sighed and shook his head, before turning and heading back to his office.

Maybe making James Potter Head Boy hadn't been such a good idea…

A/N: Really random, I know, but it just popped into my head, and wouldn't leave me alone all day. I had a dream yesterday night, it had something to do with Harry Potter (maybe cause I started reading the books over) and I remember someone in the dream yelling, "Fifty points from Slytherin!"

And besides, we all know James would have done things like this anyone, not the this level, but he would have done it.

And yes, I am fairly certain Lucius, Severus, Bellatrix, and Narcissa were all in different years. Especially the last two since they're sisters, but we can pretend one just started early or late.

Also, I'm posting this without intricate proofreading, because it is 4 in the morning my time and I am tired and my eyeballs are fixing to fall out of my head. So help would be… helpful.