Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans, Batman, any characters, villains, and am in no way making a profit off of this.
Summary: Sequel to Me? Leader!. Beast Boy is nearing the end of his recuperation and is about ready to resume hero work. Two Problems: One, Joker is in town and has possession of a bullet with Beast Boy's name on it. Two, Poison Ivy is in town, ready to kill the changeling. The Greatest Battle of Wits, Jokes, and Nature the world has ever known is on the verge of destroying the city.
Rushing down the freeway at 200 mph, a sleak silver and light blue car rushed onwards. Swerving this way and that way, missing incoming traffic by mere inches. The driver had to get there fast! He had too! Nothing could stop him, nothing at all. He was going to make it, he was going to make it! Almost there! Wait a second...what was that? A sudden Black and purple car rushed past him, using nitro up in the last stretch, just behind it was a red and white car. GAME OVER-PLAYER 3 WINS
"Dude, who is the champ? Come on, tell me, who is the champ?" Beast Boy yelled in triumph, his victory dance traveling throughout the entire common room. To spice things up, he decided to add a little something to it.
Raven opened the door, prepared to enter the common room on route to the kitchen for some herbal tea...if she hadn't seen what she had. "Beast Boy, you don't need to shake your butt at me." Turning around quickly, she rushed out of the common room. Robin and Cyborg looked at each other with growing smirks.
"You know grass stain, I guess you are a champ after all, I mean no one else has the dexterity to annoy Raven the way you do. And what was with that Bum Wiggle anyway? Smell her coming and wanted to show off?" There laughter echoed the common room to the growing embarrassed changeling's chagrin.
"Dudes! Stop it! That would never work and you know it! Not with Starfire in the kitchen anyway!" He teeth grounded and his fist shook slightly. Robin smiled up at his friend.
"Oh? Then maybe you wanted to show the rear instead of the front? Because it looks like your zipper is scared of gravity." Roaring in rage, Beast Boy left the common room, saying he was going to go train. Laughing in amusement, Cyborg and Robin gave each other a high five, before resetting the system to verse each other. "You know Rob, for a kid that still has two fingers that aren't regrown yet, he seems to be getting back in the groove quickly? Maybe we shouldn't have taken it easy on him."
Robin shook his head. "We don't need to go easy on him. He turned into a monkey if you recall. He held the controller with his good hand and used his feet to play. No need to go easy on him next time right?" The two laughed again before getting into their rivalry when they raced.
It had been approximately six and a half weeks since the Titans South had been disbanded. Beast Boy had been in the training room often in the attempt to keep in shape as he was out of commission from hero duty until his hand grew back. At the time of the Titans South disbanding, the Public was told that certain events prevented the Titans from working together and had to withdraw. The press had a field day with that one and the gossip magazines went haywire with various theories. Everyone was wrong of course, but Beast Boy got a laugh every time he heard a new rumor. Said rumors ranged from a love triangle between Beast Boy, Pantha, and Jericho to one of them killing Wildebeest. That on wasn't far off however. Due to Beast Boy's decisions when he had been made leader of the Southern Team, Wildebeest had ended up paralyzed from the waist down, and suffered extensive back damage. Beast Boy had been paying his medical expenses, and while the doctors weren't hopeful of a recovery soon, Beast Boy remained ever optimistic that the change may occur in the future.
Along with Wildebeests injuries, the rest of the Titans South had ended up with severe injuries of various conditions. Jericho had a few broken bones and thought he'd be out for awhile. But thanks to Raven, he had only just recently fully recovered. Herald had some nasty burns and other injuries, but was expected to make a full recovery in the next few days. The one that really made Beast Boy go down Guilt Road was Pantha. She suffered a concussion and now lost almost all of her memories of her life before getting into the hero work. Argent was currently living with her and helping her out. In a recent letter they were told that Pantha's memories were coming back in bits and pieces, and sometimes she would sulk for days.
Ever since Beast Boy had been taken out of commission since having his hand severed, Kid Flash had been staying in Titan's Tower temporarily. He annoyed Raven and Starfire because he entered the little prank war that had been going on nonstop since day one. Cyborg and Beast Boy were merciless in their pranking at times (although they were careful not to do anything that could cross the line ever since an accident with Beast Boy, oil, and Starfire) Speaking of which,
"Hey guys!" Startled out of their skin, Robin and Cyborg turned to find no one there. Grunting in annoyance they turned back to the TV, but couldn't see it. Kid Flash was in the way. "Would you guys mind turning this off. Jinx is coming to visit in an hour." Cyborg quickly jumped up, quickly straightening up the place with Kid Flash helping him out. Robin watched them rush about (although it was very difficult to watch Kid Flash since he appeared to be everywhere at once with his speed) with a calm demeanor about him. However the growing smirk on his face left little to imagination.
"So, Jinx is coming?" He calmly asked
"Yes!" Kid Flash half yelled in irritation. The smile never left Robins face and twinkle came to his...mask?
"So, you guys decide who'll take her out on a date tonight yet?" Kid Flash and Cyborg both stopped what they were doing midtask and glared at their leader. Not feeling threatened in the slightest, the Boy Wonder carried on. "Now how would she feel that two such upstanding gentlemen such as yourselves competed for her heart?" Laughing quietly to himself. The truth was, she already knew.
Jinx still carried her crush on Cyborg from the Academy, although she knew him as "Stone" then. But she had also developed feelings for Kid Flash since he helped her get out of crime and go straight. She felt it was her curse with bad luck to have the misfortune of loving two men. However, she never was completely good. Sure she no longer committed crimes, but she had her own immaturity streak and could cause trouble without remorse just as easily as she committed crimes. She often helped any and all parties commit pranks. Like the time she replaced Beast Boy's Tofu eggs with real eggs, and then put the tofu eggs with Cyborg's eggs, which she had stolen to put in Beast Boy's. Needless to say, both parties thought the other pulled the prank, never once suspecting the queen of bad luck. The only reason Robin knew about it was because he walked in on her doing so while attempting to get a midnight snack.
"Who cares about that!" Cyborg shouted as he pulled a duster out of the corner and started dusting off the TV. The door opened almost immediately after.
"AAAAAHHH!" Kid Flash and Cyborg yelled loudly, both of them sounding like little girls. Yet the only person standing there was Raven. Eyeing the two of them wearing aprons, along with a straightened up common room, suspicion entered her heart.
"You two playing pranks again?" The two of the shook their hoods vigorously. Glancing slightly at Robin, she quickly noticed his grin. Oh. "So, when she does get here, be sure to tell her that I have a love potion she might be interested in trying out. With her luck I wouldn't be surprised if..." She left the sentence hanging with a satisfying silence. Let them put whatever they wanted together. Once again, the two of the screamed like girls and rushed out of the room. Smiling only a shadow of a smile, Raven entered the kitchen, doing everything she could to breath through her mouth. Whatever Starfire was making didn't smell good at all...almost like burning rotten cabbage.
"My friend! I give you excellent mornings!" Starfire exclaimed gleefully. She flew quickly towards a now grimacing half demon, but stopped halfway and rushed back to the stove. "I must finish this quickly before leaving on patrol. I truly hope that we all shall partake of this glorious morning feast."
Raven glanced at the light blue gloop which looked disgustingly like mold. "I'm afraid to ask, but what is it?" The Tameranian princess smiled jovially at her.
"This is to be a laxative. Silkie has been having, shall we say, the movement of the bowls."
Almost sighing in relief that it wasn't for them, Raven nodded. Ignoring the movements it was making, Raven started working on her Herbal Tea. Soon the smell of Lavender mixed with, the horrid smell of whatever it was called. Within minutes the laxative was finished and Starfire placed it on the counter to set. Glancing fearfully at it, Raven made a mental note not go anywhere near it.
Bidding farewell to everyone, Starfire flew out on patrol. With the smell dying with the open window, Robin and Raven both felt it somewhat safe to breathe again. Ignoring Cyborg and Kid Flash tentatively walking in, Raven blew the steam rising out of her tea cup. Raising the cup to take a sip, a loud scream startled her causing her to spill the tea all over her front.
Turning around, she rolled her eyes. It was Cyborg and Kid Flash having screamed at the door opening. Beast Boy stood there smiling nonchalantly at them. "Dudes, she's not here yet. Don't start screaming the wedding march yet." Robin, who was reading the newspaper now burst out laughing alongside his green teammate. Blushing so much that it could be considered loud, Kid Flash and Cyborg glared at the two of them. A light bulb lit up inside of Cyborg's head.
"So then, why shouldn't we scream or sing the wedding march, what with you and Rae...ven man." Cyborg smiled as both Beast Boy and Raven noticeably stiffened. Kid Flash caught up faster than a bullet train.
"Yeah, I mean, there's so much anticipation between you I'm surprised we haven't had any BB/Rae tension sandwiches yet. You can almost cut it with a knife and spread it on bread." The two teen in question glared at the speedster and cybernetic teens.
"Dudes, you are this close you know that!?" Beast Boy said almost as deadpan as Raven.
"To becoming uncles?" Cyborg grinned.
Before the now not-yet romantically involved teens could react, the door opened again, with Jinx carrying a large suitcase.
"Stupid chauffeur. What crap is that about the taxi's unable to get to Titans Tower because it's on an island. Cyborg drives out and back every day." The pink-haired sorceress grumbled loudly as she entered. The tension of the previous discussion quickly ended, with Beast Boy giving the other two a grin with an evil glint in his eye.
"Cyborg, Flash, what ever are you two standing there for? Prove to her that you're gentlemen. That suitcase looks heavy, and with the traveling she must be hungry." The changeling smiled brightly at them. Cyborg quickly rushed forward, picking up her suitcase.
"Sorry Jinx, didn't know you were coming? Right man." Nudging Kid Flash hard, the two of them grinned brightly.
"Yeah! Complete surprise. Let me get you something to eat. How about some toast?"
"I'll get this suitcase to your room!" Rolling her eyes at the two of them, Jinx beelined for Beast Boy.
"Hey greeny." Shaking his head, Beast Boy gave her a high five.
"Dude, what's up?"
"Not much, dating Raven yet?"
"Not you too!!" Beast Boy shouted. Jinx merely chuckled.
"Well be quick about it, I'll win 5000 if you two start dating by the end of the month. Oh, thanks for the toast Flash." grumbling at having had someone else poke fun at him and Raven, Beast Boy sat on the couch in between Robin and Raven, the latter eying the toast Jinx was eating with great suspicion.
"Flash! This jam is wonderful, tastes just like blueberries. Wherever did you get it?"
"Just over there on the counter. Why?" Raven smirked slightly. And it wasn't a nice smile either. Both Beast Boy and Robin started scooting as far as the couch would allow them too. The cloaked enchantress got up and walked slowly towards them as Jinx finished off the toast.
"Jinx, I think Flash is playing a prank on you." Raven smiled ever so sweetly, but on her face, someone who never showed emotion, it came across as evil and the scariest look Kid Flash has ever seen. Jinx eyed her closely.
"Why would he do that?"
Raven pointed at the "jam" on the counter. "Starfire was making that for Silkie. Apparently he is suffering constipation and she made a laxative. Or in other words, a so called 'jam' to spread on food to cause temporary diarrhea." Every motion in the room froze, almost as if time itself had stopped. Jinx was giving Kid Flash one nasty glare, said person squirming uncontrollably at the mistake. Almost as soon as it occurred, it ended. Jinx felt a rumbling in her stomach, and rushed towards the nearest bathroom, swearing vengeance on the speedster.
Beast Boy and Robin watched the whole thing with blank expressions. Soon they looked at each other, smiling brightly. "So, Flashy gave her a poop juice or something. Sweet! I am so asking Star for the recipe."
Starfire flew over the city, making sure everything was in order. Patrol was one of the Titans most dreaded moments because that was when they were hit hardest by the media, paparazzi, and the crazies called fans. Sighing softly to herself, she landed in the park. Due to the foliage, it often became necessary to do this on foot. The problem with the park was that it was the prime spot for the media to wait for them, so it was usually reserved as the last thing...although Beast Boy usually did it first since he could blend in easily. Hard to catch him when he could turn into animals which were naturally green and seen often in the park.
Walking as quickly as possible, keeping her eyes peeled for any sort of trouble and paparazzi, she had every intention of getting this over quickly.
"Miss Starfire! A moment if you please!" Sighing to herself, so much for getting this over quickly. Turning around she noted two females. One had bright red hair and was wearing a green business suit. She had on thin glasses, a pencil behind her ear, and a notepad in front of her. The other wore a red business suit, and had short wavy black hair. Starfire thought the latter put on too much makeup due to the visible blush on the cheek, and it also looked as if it had been scrubbed off in a hurry and reapplied.
"May I help you?" Starfire asked tentatively. She always hated this, but Robin had said keep good relations with the public.
The one in the green suit walked forward. "Hello, I am representing the National Geographic, and have heard so many wonderful rumors of Beast Boy that I thought it might be best to go to the source to learn of the truthfulness of some said rumors. My colleague and I are both very curious. We promise we won't take much of your time." Starfire glanced back and forth between them.
"But what does this magazine you represent have the desire to know of my green friend?"
The one in green, and apparent superior to the other quickly asked, "Is it true that he's a vegetarian!" Starfire almost shuddered at the vehemence within the statement. It was as if it was there and being covered, or merely her imagination. The one in red quickly stepped forward.
"Forgive my boss, she sometimes gets a little too passionate about her job. She has a great love of nature after all." Starfire nodded slightly, barely noticing the one in green stiffening slightly.
"Approximately how long is this interview? I really am in a hurry." The two of them looked at each other and got on either side of her.
"We'll come with you. All we want are some basic questions concerning the team and to discover the truthfulness of the rumors. We make it a habit to print only the truth of what we see or believe." Starfire smiled. Honesty was so difficult to come by with the media.
"Very well, let us commence." For a few basic questions, it seemed very detailed. They asked about everything, saying they wanted only facts and couldn't possibly have their readers read anything untrue. An hour and a half later, they said that was everything and would likely be the last interview they would have with the Titans. Politely thanking her for her time, they left Starfire at the edge of the park. Happy that she helped the world learn more about integrity and honesty, Starfire flew back towards Titans Tower with a smile on her face.
Back on the ground, the two 'reporters' smiled as they skimmed their notes.
"My Red, we have a library's worth of information."
"Libraries kill trees Harley! Paper is made from trees." the woman in the green glared at the Tower.
The one called Harley ignored her friend as she was dialing on a cell phone. "Yes Mr. J. We have everything, no that wasn't taken care of...but Puddin! You mustn't! Oh! In that case. See ya later pudding."
The one called Red shook her head. What did she see in that creep? "Let's just get back and review all we know."