This is my very first fanfiction so please be honest, patient, and kind. I love to write but I also know that good writers have to be open for criticism, but constructive criticism.
I am open to ideas, comments, and even story lines that you think I should check out.
Thanks and comment often...
CHAPTER1: Strangers on a Train…
"It was for her own good…it was for her own good…it", I tell myself over and over again as I walk down another empty street, passing strangers who take no notice. I am a ghost, an empty shell of a man, no, a pathetic creature. The term monster, never seemed so appropriate.
"She's living a normal life now. She's happy…she's ALIVE, SAFE, HAPPY…she's…". These thoughts run constantly through my mind but with these thoughts come the images, the memories, the feelings. Feelings that never seemed possible a year ago. Before Bella, before life seemed worth living, before hope.
I walk faster through the streets, trying to outrun the pain, the heartache, the love I've left behind. I'm not as fast as I thought I was, as it's inescapable… the emptiness. I always knew my very existence was against Nature, against the God I claimed never existed, but now, I have no purpose, no real reason for being. "I did this", answering my own thoughts of self-hatred.
Rounding a corner, I hear a giggle and then a heavier laugh. I can't help but notice and follow the sounds of happiness and joy. More laughter, along with sounds of kisses, and hands clasping together. Down my path, several blocks away, I hear the amused couple, slowly heading towards the train. The warmth, not from their bodies, but their love, radiates around them. I want to run far from them, not to avoid the temptation of their blood but what they represent but I can't.
"You look so beautiful tonight, babe", the man whispers into the ear of the blonde woman. "You ALWAYS say that…and that's why I love you", she giggles back. "Its cause it's always true…", he says as he holds her closer, shielding her from the cold wind blowing and the world around them.
I shut my eyes, and see Bella. See her smile, see her blush as I whisper how much I love her and how her beauty leaves me constantly breathless. Along with the visions I hear her laughing, saying my name, saying the words I never thought I deserved "…I love you Edward". I would live all my days with my eyes shut, reliving the days that made me feel alive, if not for the fact, that I would have to open them eventually. Open them to see the world that laid before me, a world without meaning, happiness, BELLA.
"Come back to ME", slowly entered the air. Spinning around, I find no one there, the couple boarded the train and no human being can be felt for miles. "Please come back…I NEED YOU, I WANT YOU, I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU", were felt within my head. The voice, the one sound I could find within a sea of thousands of others and seemed like pure music, Bella's voice. I knew deep down, down in the place where my heart should be, that it wasn't her actual thoughts but the pleads of my desperation.
"You're my life now". I uttered these words to her not so long ago, but now seem to pound in my mind. For months, I had considered turning back, giving in to the selfish-creature I am and crawl back to her. Could I now do it? Could I be strong enough to check on her and turn back? Would I want to? Would she want me back? Would she want me…at all?
I didn't bother answering any of my own questions as I ran to the airport. I needed to get back to America, back to Forks, back to Bella…