Title: Words, Unnecessary
Title: Words, Unnecessary
Disclaimer…I don't know what else to put.
Pairing: I don't know if this really qualifies.
Classification: Garcia's POV
Warning: Uh, none that I can think of, except there isn't much dialog.
Spoilers: Lesson Learned, and Profiler, Profiled—if anything else happens to pop up, then so be it
Summary: There was more to the Morgan/Garcia friendship than flirting and tonight it is going to become even more complex.
Relief didn't describe the way I felt at this current moment; nor did happiness, joy, or anything else. I know I have a right to feel this way, but I don't. I'm angry at myself for letting it surprise me when I shouldn't. Situations like what Morgan was in come with the territory and I was acting as if I never knew that. It wasn't as if I didn't know that, but I didn't want to think about it—I never did.
When JJ told me that the trailer they were in exploded; a part of me died on the inside or was about to. Was my Morgan...dead? No, it couldn't be true and it wasn't. But, for a second, I was my whole world was crushed in an instant.
It scares me how much I care for Morgan because I never cared for anyone the way I do him. JJ told me that both Hotch and Morgan were in that trailer, but I only rushed to see if Morgan was alright—I didn't ask about Hotch not once nor did he cross my mind. Yes, I care for Hotch also, but not the same way as Morgan and that why I am scared. Morgan is the most important person to me and he doesn't hesitate to put himself in the line of fire for the greater good or for just one person. I can lose him any moment, second, day, hour, you name it and I could lose him.
"Would you like another, Miss?" The bartender asks me as I down my shot.
"No, thank you." I say before paying him, and then leaving. My main purpose here was to get buzzed before going where I was about to go. I always do because I needed a drink and that was apart of the rules. I wouldn't believe it if I didn't have some form of liquor in my system. When I walked outside, Morgan was waiting for me. He was leaning on a pole with his hands in his pockets and when he saw me, he didn't come to me. He just looked and analyzed the situation, the emergency.
I may have not told him how I felt or where I was going to be, but he knew. The phone alone itself told more than words ever could. But, then again, the conversation itself did also. The profiler analyzed me for a moment...the bombing was no longer in his mind.
Morgan walked over to me, and then put his arm through mine and put his hands in his pockets. I pulled him closer to me just to prove to myself that he was real. We didn't speak on the way to my apartment—we never did. Words were never needed to describe how we felt. Both of us were very emotional people and actions were how we handled things. When I got to my place, I let us in and we got to our usual routine.
I checked my voicemails and e-mails, just made sure everything was alright in the apartment. When this first started, I used to be nervous and always checking and fidgety. Everything was in place and where it was supposed to be, so I entered my room. Morgan was on the bed with nothing on, except his boxers. He was pulling the cover up as I walked into my room.
Tonight was just like the first night we did this, except less talking. Truth be told, once this got to be a ritual, we stopped talking all together. Words always got misinterpreted, but actions never did. I went over to the bed and as I sat beside him, I rested my head on his chest.
God, he smelled so good! Morgan smelled like a man should if that made any sense. Also, he felt good. His skin was always so, but firm and his body was warm. He sat a hand in my hair and began to caress, I love when he does this. It is always reassuring and gentle. His leans his head on mine and we stay there for a while, just cherishing the moment.
You see, tonight is not about sex or anything like that. Morgan may be half naked in my bed, but that doesn't mean we are having sex or that we are going to. We occasionally comfort one another by lying in one another's arms. First, he strips down to his boxers, and then I do, which I am doing now. I just like to see him before I show himself myself. Seeing for us is touching because looks can be deceiving. We rely on emotions and intimate touches for us to do the talking.
I used to feel uncomfortable in my own skin, until Morgan and I started meeting on nights like this. Now I can stand in front of him and just my bra and panties and feel confident. Morgan pulls the cover off him and sits on the edge of the bed. He opens his legs slightly and pulls me in between. I don't know whether I love this part the most or where we are lying in one another's arms. You should just see Morgan when he looks at my body. He has this ritual that he does. It starts off by looking into my eyes, and then closes his eyes before licking his lips very softly. He stays that way for a moment, so he can get into some type of zone. Next, he rubs the tip of his nose on my stomach very slightly.
Morgan stops and looks at me...this isn't apart of the ritual. We have a set of rules that we follow and he's not following by them. His fingers on my chin distract me. Morgan is in front of me and one look in his eye and I can tell everything is different now. What ever we used to do, we are no longer doing. My male counterpart taps the spot next to where he was once lying and gestures for me to lay there and I do so.
The feeling on being held in Morgan's arms is indescribable. He just feels so good and I love the way our skin touches; his chest and stomach against my back. Again, he diverges from the plan. My chocolate Adonis begins to kiss my back very sensually, and then he rests his head in the crook of my neck. His left and was on my waist rubbing very firmly, and then he removes it. Ok, now he isn't touching me at all, which is what this night is about. The only thing I feel of his is his right arm and that is because I am laying on it. I turn my head to see Morgan's face.
His eyes were closed in pleasure and he was biting his bottom lip ever so slightly. My gaze traveled down Morgan's arm to his hand and I could see his hand inside his short rubbing his penis. Woo boy! The butterflies in my stomach were having a field down and they are not going to settle down anytime soon.
The rubbing had stopped and he pulled his right arm from beneath me. I was somewhat nervous because this was unfamiliar territory—very unfamiliar. All we have ever done was hold each other, not have sex. Morgan's intentions, if they weren't already clear, they became crystal clear when he took off his boxers. Next, he unhooked my bra and slowly slid them off my shoulders and kissed where the straps once were.
"Garcia, I know you know this has never happened before." Why is he speaking? We—we never speak. "I know this is breaking the rules, but sometimes...rules need to be broken. Tonight, I am going to make love to you because you need me—you need more than holding could ever do."
"Oh—okay." I gulped and shook my head yes. I really couldn't speak since Morgan had his leg over my hip and was grinding himself into my ass. Despite him saying this was for me, it seemed as if his motives were semi-selfish. He turned me over, so I could be on my back, and then took my underwear off. My breath hitched and Morgan grinned slightly.
"Baby girl, I want you to look me right in my eyes and I want you to tell me exactly what you want me to do to you. You ready?" He was between my legs, and then he hovered above me with his hands on the opposite side of my head as he spoke to me.
"Un huh." He leaned down and gave me a very thorough kiss on my lips.
He laughed before caressing my forehead slightly. "That's my girl."