Extreme Measures

Extreme Measures

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: Second installment of the 'Extreme Series.' A month and a half later, and Xander is questing for the gold. When does an obsession become unhealthy?


Xander leaned back in the SUV as he read the book that Rob had given him. Faith was next to him, sleeping on his shoulder with her arms wrapped around his waist. His FTW and TV Titles were both in his lap, along with his food. Jono was in the back, sleeping on his side of the back. Little Guido and Tony Mamaluke of the FBI were both in the back as well, playing a game of go fish. Tommy was driving to their next destination in North Carolina, and interestingly enough, Beulah was in the seat beside him. She was finally ready to come back to the ring, after nearly a quarter of a year away.

"Why do we gotta have those two in here," Beulah asked quietly, though she didn't need to as both Guido and Tony were busy cussing each other out about one or the other cheating.

"Faith likes having them around," Tommy said with a shrug.

"But, they're assholes," Beulah said.

"Yeah, they are," Xander agreed, "But, Faith thinks they're cool, so she likes having 'em around."

"I get why you don't mind, you're her boyfriend," Beulah said, "But, Tommy…why?"

"I owe them money," Tommy said with a shrug, "This way, I don't gotta pay them back."

Beulah stared at him for a moment, then shrugged. Sighing, she turned back to Xander.

"So, big day comin' up," she said to him, "You and Faith, going up against Sabu and Mike for the tag team belts."

"Yep," Xander said with a smile, "Really lookin' forward to it, too. Those two assholes deserve to lose their belts."

"Sabu doesn't, but Awesome sure does," Tommy commented.

"Why not Sabu," Xander asked.

"He's just a wrestler, doing what a wrestler should," Tommy said with a shrug, "Awesome's a dick, on the other hand."

"He may be a dick, but he's a tough one," Xander remarked, "It's gonna take a lot for me and Faith to take him down."

"So, you and Faith are gonna be tag team champions, hopefully," Beulah said, "That'd be nice to have a female champion around here. ECW doesn't have much in the way of women's divisions."

"Eh, if Faith wanted to, she could be the World Heavyweight Champion," Xander said, kissing Faith on the forehead as he did so, eliciting a sleepy moan from her.

"Ah, that's sweet," Beulah said, "But, never happen. Not with guys like Awesome and-"

"Honey," Tommy interrupted her, "She beat Sabu."

"…Holy crap," Beulah looked at Faith in a new light, "Wow…that'd be cool."

"It can't happen," Tommy said, earning a look from Beulah, "It's nothing against Faith or women, for that matter, it's due to the nature of the title. You gotta either be a certain weight or qualify for it in some other way. I think if Paul E had a tournament for Number One Contender, then Faith would be a shoe-in."

"I do happen to agree," Xander said with a smile, "Though, I'd like to think I'd have a shot at it."

"Yeah, you are kinda interested in titles these days," Tommy noted, "What's up with that?"

"I dunno," Xander said with a sigh, "After I won the FTW Title, it's like this light went on and it's blinding me. The only way to get it outta my eyes is to win titles."

"I've never won a title," Tommy said, "I've tried, but I never have. I get that it can drive you mad at times. You just gotta remember what's important."

Xander stared down at Faith for a long moment, then turned his attention to the book…or pretended to, as his gaze was firmly affixed to his belts. It was a problem…he wasn't sure which one meant more anymore.


Francine stared at him as he got out of Dreamer's vehicle. It was taking too long…he should have succumbed to the curse already. She KNEW that Faith wasn't willing to go along with what the curse had in store. Still, tonight, so long as he lost…well, the curse would do what it does best…make him lash out.


"Hey, boytoy, do you wanna go out for a bite to eat before tonight," Faith asked.

Xander was currently hanging upside-down on a bar, doing sit-ups in a vertical manner.

"Sorry, Faith, can't right now," Xander said, "Gotta get warmed up for the match tonight."

Faith lost her smile for a moment, taking on a crestfallen look, but she quickly recovered, saying, "It's cool, X. Think I should do that too?"

"Couldn't hurt," Xander commented, too focused on working out and the match coming up.

"…I'm gonna go get a drink," Faith said, "You want one?"

"Water, if ya can," Xander said, continuing in his sit-ups, "Thanks, babe."

"No problem," Faith said a little stiffly as she walked away.

She followed along the corridor, coming to a stop as she spotted Jono, who was flirting with the new girl in ECW, girl named Amy Dumas. Faith didn't think much of her, but that didn't mean anything.

"Hey, Jono, quit flirting for minute," Faith said, collapsing into a seat next to him.

"Faith, c'mon," Jono said, smiling a polite smile at her.

"No, it's ok, I should get going anyway," Amy said, "It was good talkin' to you. Call me…"

"Absolutely," Jono said, flashing her a dazzling smile that had Amy blushing at him as she walked away.

"Wow, you're getting to be quite the stud, ain'tcha," Faith noted with a sly grin.

"Eh, I get around," Jono said, pulling out a card that undoubtedly had Amy's number on it, "I dunno, after Kimona and me…it's like…like I've got this confidence now, y'know."

"You didn't happen to be a virgin then, did you," Faith asked, mildly curious.

At his lack of response, she turned to him, noting that he was somehow looking both proud and embarrassed.

"Jonathan Michelle Levinson," Jono glared at her for the use of his middle name, "You are not expecting me to believe that your first time was with Kimona…who, if memory serves, called you a 'stallion.'"

"…She was my first," Jono admitted in a huff, then he smiled, "But, definitely not my only."

Faith laughed at him, then sobered up, "Look…I think you're right about X. Something's up with him. Y'know, he very rarely works out. Now, there isn't an hour we got free when he's not in the gym. It sucks…I miss him."

"…Look on the bright side," Jono said, "You and Xander win those belts, and you and he will probably go right back to normal. This is probably just a phase, Faith. Ride it out and you both'll be better for it."

"…Yeah, you're probably right," Faith tried to sound convinced, but it sounded weak even in her own ears.


Xander took a break a few hours before his match, which was the second to last match on the card. He couldn't wait, in just a few hours, he and Faith would become the ECW Tag Team Champions. Then, who knows, maybe he could go after the ECW Championship.

At the moment, however, Xander was immersed in Rob's book. He'd gotten pretty far into the book, noting that the main character, Roland (the book finally revealed his name about halfway in) was very interested in the Man in Black, as well as something called the Dark Tower. It almost bordered obsession…

Xander paused in his reading, wondering if this was what Rob had meant by giving him the book. Did this gunslinger's obsession with both the Man in Black and the Dark Tower have some deeper meaning, something that Rob saw in Xander?

Sighing, he decided to continue reading, pausing only to wonder where Faith was.


Francine stared across the room with a smile. She could see it working…the belt was taking him…soon, he would be hers.


Faith walked back up to the arena with a spring in her step. She was in a damn good mood after going out to the cemetery and staking some vamps. She'd gotten two in less than twenty minutes, and now she was going to kick Mike Awesome and Sabu's asses, then she was goin' to make love to her man. She idly wished she felt this awesome all the time, but then noted that she'd be hornier than she usually was, which was very dangerous for her man…though, he'd definitely die with a smile on his face.

She began to dance as she walked, hearing Eric Clapton's Cocaine as she came closer to the arena. She danced along with the beat as she came up to the entrance, where three guys were standing around the entrance. She sauntered up to them and continued dancing, prompting the three guys to start moving along with her. Before she got too into the beat, though, she noticed who one of them was, particularly after seeing that his arm was in a sling.

"Rob," Faith shouted, and she quickly hugged her friend, who hugged her back with equal enthusiasm…almost.

"Ow, watch the arm, Faith," Rob said, and she quickly backed up, calming down as she saw him laughing, "Damn, I'd forgotten what a grip you got."

"Yeah," she turned to the longhaired dude in a black skullcap, who was smiling at her in a slightly perverted manner, "Wonder how you got to know about her grip?"

Rob laughed and idly slapped him upside the head, "Man, don't you know anything? This girl here would kick your ass in less time than it takes her to apply her lipstick."

"I don't have a problem with her kickin' my ass," the man said with a smile, causing Faith to role her eyes as his big friend with the long jacket and backwards baseball cap smiled and nodded.

"Rob, who are these douche bags," Faith asked her friend.

"Oh, where are my manners," Rob chuckled, "These two are my blunt connection in New Jersey. Faith, say hello to Jay," the longhaired dude winked at her, "And Silent Bob," the big guy nodded to her.

"Jay and Silent Bob," Faith wondered, "Sounds like a bad B-movie."

"You're one to talk," Jay said, taking a puff of his blunt and passing it on to Rob, "Your boyfriend always going 'shop smart, shop s-mart' and shit, acting like that fuckin' pussy named Ashley."

Silent Bob slapped his shoulder and gave him a look.

"Alright, that guy's a badass," Silent Bob nodded in satisfaction, "But, you gotta admit that movie coulda been better."

"Course it coulda been better," Rob said with a grin, handing Silent Bob the blunt, "But, considering the budget it had, I'd say it was pretty damn good as it was."

"True that, man," Jay said, turning to Faith, "So, what's the deal? You gonna go and kick some ass tonight?"

"You know it," Faith said with a grin.

"Alright, you go kick that ass," Jay said with a grin, "Then, you can come back here and slap this ass," Jay slapped his own ass, earning a laugh from Rob and a shake of the head from Silent Bob.

"Jay, the only way Faith would ever tap your ass is if your head ever came outta it," Rob said with a laugh, earning a slight chuckle from Silent Bob and a glare from Jay.

"Boy, you guys are a hoot and a half," Faith said, smiling at them, "Are you guys gonna see the show?"

"I am," Rob said, "I'll be in the booth with Joey all night."

"We'll be out here, sellin'," Jay said casually.

"Well, that's no fun," Faith said with a frown, "Tell ya what, I'll let you guys in as my personal guests, how's that sound?"

"Far out," Jay said with a grin, before fixing her with a serious look, "Do you wanna fuck us?"

"Not if you two were the last men on Earth," Faith said with a shit-eating grin.

"Oh," both Jay and Bob looked depressed at that, but Jay perked up and said, "That chick Francine's back there! Boy, you know she's the slut!"

Bob nodded enthusiastically along with him.

"Tell ya what," Faith said, evil thoughts bouncing around her brain, "I'll show you her private dressing room. You two can surprise her."

Jay and Bob looked like they'd both gone to heaven.

Jay said, "SCORE!"

Bob said, "Thanks."

"No prob," Faith said with a grin, "I gotta get inside, so, if y'all are comin'…"

"Right behind you, Faith," Rob said, and the four walked inside.


"Ladies and Gentlemen of Red Bank, New Jersey," Joey paused as the fans lit up, "Good evening, and welcome to another edition of ECW! I'm Joey Styles."


"Thanks, you guys," Joey said with a smile, "Tonight, boy do we have a treat for you! Tonight, ECW World Heavyweight Champion, Taz, is taking on Justin Credible for the ECW World Heavyweight Championship!"


"And, for the first time ever, a woman shall challenge for an ECW Title," Joey said, "Tonight, the Hardcore King of Extreme-" he broke off as the fans started chanting.


"Xander Harris," Joey picked up after they calmed, "and the Dark Slayer," he didn't even try to continue, he just let them go.


"Faith," Joey picked up, "Are challenging the ECW World Tag Team Champions, Sabu and Mike Awesome for the belts!"

The fans lit up at that, till eventually a chant sprang up.


"And, best of all," Joey said, "Tonight, there is a special guest with me on commentary. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the Whole Fuckin' Show,


Walk by Pantera came on.




Rob walked out from the back, his arm in a sling, dressed in jeans and a 4:20 t-shirt. He slapped hands with a bunch of the fans as he made his way to the ring, and once he was in there, he shook hands with Joey and got on the top rope. He stretched out his good arm and pointed his thumb at himself.


Rob got back down off the rope and walked around, then pulled out a microphone as his music came to an end. Before he could speak, though, a chant sprung out.


After the fans quieted, Rob raised the microphone back up.

"That's right, it's me, Rob Van Dam, the Whole Fuckn' Show, Mr. Monday Night, Pay-Per-View, and a lotta other nicknames," Rob said with his usual grin, "Tonight, I'm not gonna be in the ring! Now, don't cry, RVD has got some more healin' up to do, but I'll be back soon enough. Till then, ECW just has to soldier one without it's main attraction, yours truly. Tonight, though, ECW is gonna be carried, or rather Joey Styles is. Now, no offense to you, Joe-Joe, but while you got the whole 'CATFIGHT, CATFIGHT,'" Rob screeched, imitating Joey's voice, "and 'OH, MY GOD,' tonight, you're gonna get a taste of the 4:20!"

The fans lit up again as Rob dropped his mic, followed by Walk coming back on as Joey held open the ropes for him to get out.