A/N: Haven't been on here in a while. And I should update my other story soon! But anyway, here's a product of my not-so productive friday evening. So I hope you enjoy
Hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Boo.
After a day of shooting, I'm exhuasted. Not that I had to do much 'shooting' in this episode, but constantly running after Damian Lewis can be tiring. Don't get me wrong, I like working on the show, and I get along fine with everyone... it just sometimes lacks that 'buzz' that you sometimes get at the end of the day.
When I was on the L word, I got a buzz after every scene. Some more than others, but the show itself was generally more exciting, and if I'm being completely honest, I miss those guys, some more than others..but anyway, you get the point.
I changed into pyjama bottoms and a comfortable T. Suddenly the hotel bed looks very appealing, and I'm just about ready to fall asleep when I'm interrupted by three steady knocks at my door.
I flick the lightswitch up and craw out of bed, to the door,
"What do you wan-"
The person staring back at me was the last person I had expected to see at my hotel door. Or, at just, a door that I was opening in general.
"Quite the charmer aren't you Sarah?"
Suddenly feeling very self conscious, I laughed awkwardly and smiled,
"Oh you know me... Wow. Kate, what are you doing here?"
Or, what I'm really thinking: Wow. Kate. Better late than never.
She grins and I cling to the side of the door in case my knees give way.
"I'm here to try and convince you to get your butt over to Vancouver for a few weeks." She laughs, "Can I come in?"
"Sure, yeah.." She casually strolls in and takes a seat on the armchair next to the bed. Dressed in well worn jeans, white shirt, with her messy hair hidden under her rag-hat beanie. It was fair to say that she just looked damn sexy. And hell, she wasn't even trying, which just added another ridiculous amount of sexy to her already very sexy self..and that's a lot of sexy. But hey, I'm not complaining.
She noticed the ruffled bed clothes, and then looked back at me and my pj's, an apologetic look suddenly swept over her face.
"Aw man, I didn't wake you did I?"
I can't help but laugh, she's so very cute when she's worried.
"No, don't worry, I'm not that tired.."
She didn't look convinced. Then again, I was tired, and obviously a very bad liar.
She laughs to herself. I put my hands on my hips and raise my eyebrows.
"You are such a bad liar. I could come back in the morning if you like?"
"Shut up. Just come over here and say 'Hi' properly will you??"
Wait. Crud. Was that too obvious? Don't freeze. Be cool. Smile. Smile and be cool.
She chuckled and walked over to me, and wrapped her arms around me.
She whispers in my ear. I hug her tight. She smells great. No surprise there.
Wow... Flirt much?
She looks down at me and smiles,
"Good ...I've missed you."
"I've missed you too."
Whoa, hold up, now it's like we're no longer hugging, but rather, holding each other.
.. Do I look away? No don't do that, wait till she looks away! But she isn't looking away. Daamn, Sarah, quit looking so serious. Smile. Ah, no, not the flirty smile you weirdo! Shut up!
As my mind argues with itself, my body decides to take control and steps back,
"You wanna drink?" I said, maybe too quickly.
"Sure, if you're having one"
She takes a seat back in the chair and does one of her shoelaces up. I go over to the over-priced minifridge in the corner and get out two beers.
I sit back on the edge of the bed and clear my throat.
"So, yeah, Vancouver?"
"Yeah, we've started filming season six and all.." she took a swig from the bottle and continued, "and Ilene wanted to know, or, well, wanted me to see if there was anyway I could get you to come"
I clear my throat again and take a sip of my drink to stop myself from giggling out aloud.
Oh come on, you're not that much of a lightweight, get your mind out of the gutter girl.
"-to be on the show again, I mean." She quickly adds.
I laugh out loud,
She smirks back at me,
I bite my lip and take another sip.
"You know I'd love to. But, uh, unless you've figured out a way for me to be at two places at once, I don't know how I can, you know, since I'm in the middle of filming Life and all.."
"Oh really? Hm. Well I had no idea.."
I scoffed at her sarcasm.
"You know what I mean.."
"Yeah, I know, but come on, you could come down for a week or something, you can't be needed on set twenty-four seven. You know you'd enjoy it. And plus, the fans would love it. They've been dying to see you come kick my- um, Shane's ass. You'd get to throw things at me again.." She grins, and I can't help but laugh.
I haven't quite realised until now how much I actually miss the show...
"-And you don't wanna disappoint your fans now Miss Shahi do you?"
I pretend to be shocked at her guilt tripping techniques,
"You can't say that!"
"Well. I just did."
"Kate. You know I miss working on the show with you guys, but I just can't find the time to travel up there and back, filmings too tight at the moment and with Ste-"
I stopped there. She's no longer joking around, but giving me that trademarked pout, telling me that she's serious.
"I managed to find time to travel down here to see you."
Yeouch. That one kinda stung. It wasnt that they told her to see me, but that she made the time time, to see, ME.
"Kate, gimme a break. Please. It's not as simple as that and you damn well know it."
"Do I? Look, I know you've comitted to 'Life' and everything but why do I get the feeling that sometimes you're-"
"I'm what?!" I stood up, seeming a bit more defensive than I planned.
"-that sometimes you're just using that as an excuse!"
She's was now also on her feet, giving me a look that almost passed as bitter and made my stomach turn.
"It's not as easy as that! We're not just talking about filming a few scenes. Are we?"
"No. We're talking about going back to how it was three years ago!"
She says nothing,
"And don't you tell me that it won't, because you know damn well that it will and-"
"And what's so wrong about that!? Huh??"
Well. Got me there.
"Oh wait, no. Yeah, I remember, your precious Steve."
I stand there stunned, and after hearing what she's said, it seems like she is too. She shuts up and stares at the floor. I close my eyes, hoping the tears that have started to form will go away.
'It's wrong Kate because I can't trust myself with you!'
She's looks at me intently, her face softened.
'..And I hate it, cos sometimes I find myself hoping it'll never end." I carry on before she can think to interrupt me, "It's like I'm leading two separate lives, Kate. And no matter what I do, in the end someone will get hurt."
She says nothing
"You happy now??"
She looks at me,
"If you could choose-"
I look away. She grabs hold of my shoulders, and I turn to face her.
"No one else matters, okay? It's just you."
I stare at the floor, the tears running down my face now. She lifts my head up and wipes them away.
"What do YOU want?"
The lump in my throat gets bigger, and my stomach does cartwheels.
Isn't it obvious?