By Nintendo Maximus
Disclaimer: If I owned "Codename: Kids Next Door", Abby would've ended up with Nigel, and the events in this story would've come true as well.
Author's Note: "Codename: Kids Next Door" ended recently, and yes folks, I am well aware that on the actual show, Hoagie (Numbuh Two) ended up married to Abby (Numbuh Five). I, on the other hand, was rather anxious for there to be a fanfic about Hoagie marrying Fanny (Numbuh 86), especially after having drawn several pictures depicting that, and since nobody has already done one of those, I decided to write it myself. And for the purposes of this AU ficlet, Kuki & Wally and Nigel & Abby are already married as well. Just an FYI.
"Hoo boy, I cannot believe this day is here."
Hogarth Pennywhistle "Hoagie" Gilligan Jr., better known to his friends as Kids Next Door operative Numbuh Two, twiddled his fingers together as he peeked outside from his private chamber to see the gathering crowd. Hoagie himself was dressed up in a nice white tuxedo with a grey stripe going down the sides of each of his pant legs, and a red rose in his lapel. A light turquoise-colored bow-tie sat around his neck, and he had a corresponding cummerbund of the same color fitting snugly around his waist. As he usually did, he was wearing his goggles and helmet, but today, he had a matching white top hat, adorned with a darker-hued turquoise band right above the brim, sitting atop his helmet. He was dressed this way for today was his wedding day; at last he was going to marry the girl he'd long been sweet towards, Fanny Fulbright.
Turning to face his best man, Hoagie scratched at his head. "Seriously, guys, I don't know if I can go through with this."
Nigel Uno, alias Numbuh One, raised an eyebrow. "Are you kidding me, Numbuh Two?"
"No guys, I'm serious," Hoagie blushed. "I really am feeling a little flushed about this."
The ring-bearer, Wally Beatles, alias Numbuh Four, gagged. "Always up for making those stupid puns, I see."
Hoagie chuckled nervously. "Uh, yeah. That's it. No, Numbuh Four, that wasn't a joke. I'm really serious when I say I don't think I'm ready for this. I mean, in a few minutes, I'm gonna be reciting vows with the girl who used to give me a beating whenever I tried to sweet-talk her! Maybe we should've put this off further..."
"You can't go about getting cold feet now, Numbuh Two!" Nigel poked the groom's chest. "This didn't stop me from marrying Numbuh Five, and it didn't stop Numbuh Four from marrying Numbuh Three..."
"Ya got that right, mate," Wally muttered behind him.
"...So it's not gonna stop you from marrying Numbuh 86!" Nigel continued. "After all, when you announced your engagement, you were quite happy and very anxious to marry her."
"That's for sure," Wally snickered to himself.
"So you should be just as happy today as you were when you proposed to her," Nigel pointed. "Am I right?"
Hoagie brightened up a bit. "You're right, Numbuh One! I love Numbuh 86, and I shouldn't have to wait any longer to be with her forever. Today is our wedding day, and I'm gonna have a good time!" Adjusting his top hat, he faced his two attendants and said, "So how do I look?"
"Like you'd expect to look on your wedding day," Wally answered, rolling his eyes.
"Rather handsome," said Nigel.
"I just can't believe this day is finally here."
Francine "Fanny" Fulbright, the Global Tactical Officer known to the other operatives as Numbuh 86, stood in front of her full-length vanity mirror, all dolled up for her wedding day. Like most brides, she was wearing a beautiful white wedding gown that fit her figure nicely, complete with elbow-length satin gloves on both of her arms. The big white-and-silver skirt-train that made up the bottom half of her gown was supported by a silver sash wrapped around the hem. In her fiery-red hair, there sat a tiara, which bore the initials "KND" and was colored in a silver shade not unlike the helmet she usually wore, from which there protruded the shoulder-length veil that fell behind her head. And Fanny herself had just now applied red lipstick to her lips, for she knew very well that she would soon be trying this out on the boy she was marrying today, Hoagie Gilligan.
Fanny twirled around to face her maid of honor and flower girl. "In just a few minutes, I'll have become Mrs. Hoagie Gilligan."
"I'm so happy for you, Numbuh 86! Yaay!" Kuki Beatles, the flower girl known as Numbuh Three, giggled.
Abigail Uno, the maid of honor called Numbuh Five, smiled. "Numbuh Five's happy fo' you too, Numbuh 86. Gotta admit, though, we never would've thought you'd end up with him."
"Well, neither did I," admitted Fanny. "But now, I'm glad I did."
Ever since Fanny had gotten into her relationship with Hoagie, things had been quite a bit different for her. It had all started when they had gotten locked in a janitorial closet at the Kids Next Door Moonbase again, which they initially weren't too happy with. But the bickering they at first endured in that time soon gave way to the moment where Hoagie confessed to Fanny that he loved her, and awestruck Fanny was so happy that she admitted that she felt the same way for him, which resulted in a huge make-out session for the both of them. The two of them were still exchanging kisses when the door was unlocked, but the impact of that sequence was soon made obvious. Having now found true love with an operative she formerly seemed to hate, the former Head of Decommissioning was no longer as much of a constantly-angry male-hater as she used to be, and whenever she and Hoagie crossed paths from then on, they'd often try to find a way to get into another closet and start making out again like before. After about a year of this, in their most recent make-out session at that point (a mere four months ago), Hoagie swallowed his pride and asked Fanny if she would marry him, and she happily accepted his proposal.
As Fanny sat, blissfully having flashbacks of those two happy moments in her life, Kids Next Door leader Rachel McKenzie, Numbuh 362, opened the door into the bridal chamber and said, "Hey, Numbuh 86? The ceremony's starting right now."
Abby addressed the bride with a grin. "Let's go, Soon-To-Be-Mrs. Numbuh Two."
"I'm coming, hold your horses!" Fanny adjusted her veil-tiara and picked up her bouquet of roses. Look out, Hoagie Gilligan, she said to herself as she prepared to begin her descent down the aisle. Your wife is here.
Many of the other Kids Next Door operatives had gathered for the ceremony, just as they had done for Wally and Kuki's wedding as well as Nigel and Abby's. Hoagie was already standing at the front of them by the podium with his attendants as the resident preacher came in and took his spot. Hmmm... Another young couple getting wed here, I see.
The wedding march then began to play, and Hoagie knew that this meant that Fanny's entrance was at hand. Immediately following the appearances of Abby the maid of honor and Kuki the flower girl, Fanny began to walk down the aisle, clutching her rose bouquet. Hoagie took a good look at his bride and was so lovestruck by how beautiful she looked in her wedding gown, that his goggle lenses took the shape of hearts. And when Fanny saw how handsome her groom was in his white tuxedo, a hot red blush ran across her cheeks.
Fanny soon took her spot next to Hoagie and took his left hand in her right hand as the preacher began his spiel. "Dearly beloved," he said, "we are gathered here today to bare witness to the union of these two young souls, Hogarth Gilligan Jr. and Francine Fulbright. If anyone has any reason why these two should not marry, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."
Hoagie and Fanny smiled as no objection was made from the crowd. It was especially lucky for them, as Fanny's father, Mr. Boss, was out of town that week and was not around to attend the wedding, so there was no worry of him objecting to their marriage.
"Fine then," said the preacher now that he was certain no one objected to the marriage. "Let's move on. Do you, Hogarth Gilligan Jr., take Francine Fulbright, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part, so long as you both shall live?"
"I do!" proclaimed Hoagie, smiling at his bride.
The preacher then said, "And do you, Francine Fulbright, take Hogarth Gilligan, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part, so long as you both shall live?"
"I do," Fanny smiled, blushing at her groom.
"Now then, please join your hands to show that your hearts are joined together in love," dictated the preacher.
With that, Hoagie and Fanny turned to face each other, and Fanny joined her right hand with Hoagie's left hand. The preacher then told them it was time for them to exchange the rings, so Wally presented the couple with the two gold rings. Hoagie proceeded to place Fanny's wedding ring on the ring finger of her right hand, right beside the engagement ring he had given her back when he proposed four months ago. Fanny then did the same thing placing Hoagie's wedding band on his right hand's ring finger.
After that, the couple then recited short speeches to each other on their own. Taking Fanny's hands in his, Hoagie announced to her, "I, Hoagie Gilligan, take you, Francine Fulbright, to be my lawfully-wedded wife, for you are truly the most beautiful girl I've ever known, and I am happy to know that when I confessed it to you, you accepted my love. And I am even happier that, under the blessing of the Lord, I have now become your loving husband."
As Wally gagged again, Nigel gave him a slight nudge. "Boy, who knew Hoagie had it in him to make a speech like that?"
Fanny grinned lovingly at her groom and declared to him, "And I, Francine Fulbright, take you, Hoagie Gilligan, to be my lawfully-wedded husband, for you've shown me that not all boys are thick-headed idiots like I thought they were, and that even despite how harsh I was to you and your goofy teammates, you still saw the inner side of me. So it gives me great joy that, in the name of the Lord, I become, now and forever, your wife."
"Boy, being in love with Hoagie really has changed her, hasn't it?" Abby whispered to Kuki.
"Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce this young couple, husband and wife," the preacher declared. "You may kiss the bride."
"With pleasure," Hoagie grinned. He put his left arm around Fanny and, still linking his right hand with hers, pulled her closer to him as they closed their eyes and puckered their lips. Finally, the newlyweds brought their lips together for the most passionate kiss they had ever given each other, as the audience applauded their happy union.
After what seemed like an eternity, Hoagie and Fanny Gilligan came apart from their first kiss as a married couple and walked up the aisle of the gardens amidst the cheering fellow KND members to the waiting limousine. Hoagie lifted his new wife into the car, but not before giving her another kiss and dipping her while he was at it.
Hoagie's fellow operatives watched as the limo drove off to the reception. "Well, there they go," commented Wally. "Off to enjoy their new life together."
"Yeeah!" Kuki hugged her spouse. "They're just like us back on our wedding day!"
"Y'know, I'll bet I know what they're doin' right now..." said Abby.
Over in the car, Fanny snuggled up to her new husband. "Mmmm... I can't believe we're really married now."
"Yeah." Hoagie twirled his wife's hair around a bit, and whispered into her ear, "And you know, I'm really happy for both of us... Toots."
Fanny put her left hand up to her groom's cheek and lifted up his goggles. "You are such a silly twit, Hoagie Gilligan. And that's what I love about you."
And so, as the car continued on its route to the reception, Hoagie and Fanny Gilligan proceeded to get into their first make-out session as a married couple. By the time they arrived, Hoagie's face and helmet would be covered in stains from Fanny's red lipstick - and that was something their friends were pretty much expecting.
Yeah, I admit, this was actually a rather out-of-character story, but after all, I did just do it because I wanted there to be a 2/86 wedding fic. And besides that, considering the banter between them in "Operation P.I.N.K.E.Y.E.", and the 2/86 fandom going with calling themselves "Closet Keepers", I actually find it kinda easy to picture Hoagie & Fanny being romantic with each other like I made them out to be here!