The Paladin Verses the Bat
Disclaimer: I don't own any material contained within this story. All copyrighted content remains the property of the person, people, or organization that holds the copyright. This story is solely for fun.
A taxi pulled up in front of a motel on the edge of the city. Anderson stepped out of the taxi. He paid and tipped the driver, then wished him, "May th' Lord God be wit ye."
Anderson checked into the motel. He setup his Holy Relics, tacked a few Scripture Verses to the walls, said a quick prayer then started his hunt. He was in America which wasn't officially under the Church's jurisdiction, but no other supernatural group had a legitimate claim to the U.S. either. America had freedom of religion.
However, many people chose Catholicism, and reports had reached Rome that this city was being besieged by a creature of the night. Actually, the reports were conflicting. Some claimed that the city was being besieged, others that it was being watched over and protected. The Church chose to ignore the latter reports, though. What creature of the night ever watched over or protected humans?
No, the city was under attack. It's Catholic citizens were in danger, and something needed to be done. So Anderson had been sent to deal with the problem. He knew just where to head too. Like any evil abomination, his prey would be hiding in the most filth filled alleys of the city.
Anderson quickly headed to the worst part of the city and began to walk up and down the back alleyways. Without any real information on his prey, Anderson had no choice but to wait for it to strike. When it did, there would be terrified screams from it's victim, and Anderson would use those screams to locate his prey. He didn't have to wait long either. In less then ten minutes, he heard the familiar shouting. "No! Please let me go! Don't drink my blood! No! Please!"
Holy Scriptures swirled around Anderson's body and he teleported to a nearby rooftop. Anderson's prey heard him and turned around. Anderson saw his prey. It was wearing a black mask with pointed bat ears on top. A symbol of a bat with outstretched wings was displayed across its chest, and it had a long, flowing black cape. Its next intended victim was tied upside down, suspended above the city streets. Th' man doesn't even make a pretense of bein' human, parading around in a bat suit. Anderson flicked his wrists and produced a blessed bayonet in each hand.
Anderson threw one of his bayonets, but his prey dodged it at the last moment. Anderson continued to hurl his blessed bayonets at the bat, but it dodged, rolled under, flipped over and sidestepped every one. What tis going on here? Was dis ting trained by ninjas, or sometin'?
All the while the bat drew nearer to the paladin. Until, finally, it punched him in the jaw. The force of the punch, although far more then most men could've managed, was nowhere near what Anderson would've expected from a vampire. It was, however, sufficient to cause the paladin to stagger back a good ten feet. That was what the bat intended.
With a flick of its wrist, the bat produced a bat shaped boomerang. It threw the 'baterang' at the paladin, pinning one of his arms to the post of a nearby rooftop sign. Andersen retaliated by flicking the wrist of his still free arm and flinging another bayonet at the bat. The bat tried to dodge again, but it was just a little bit too slow. The bayonet sliced the bat's side as it attempted to jump away. The bat rolled for a moment then came up with another 'baterang'. It threw the weapon, pinning Anderson's other arm, and began to walk over to him.
The bat was right in front of the paladin now. They were face to face as the bat exclaimed, "Who are you, and what are you doing in my city!"
"Yes, my city. I'm Batman, and Gotham is mine. I watch over it and protect it."
"Ye ar' notin' but a demon, ye vampire. Ye do'na watch over an protect anytin'."
"What! You think I'm a vampire?"
"Well, ye were cut by me blessed bayonet."
"Of course I was cut! It was a sharpened blade, for crying out loud."
It was then that Anderson noticed that the 'Batman' had no fangs. All vampires had fangs. "So, ye really arn't a vampire?"
"Mister, you need help, dressing like a priest and thinking people are vampires."
"Diss from a man in a bat costume?"
Batman sighed. "You're going to Arkham Asylum."
Anderson grinned. "Afraid not. Ye may not be a vampire, but others ar'. I've got too much work to be spending time in an asylum." With that Holy Scriptures swirled around Anderson once more, and he disappeared.
Batman sighed again. As if I don't already have enough weirdos to deal with. He turned around and went back to interrogating the gang member.
(Well what did you think? As always, reviews are greatly appreciated. Also I'm not sure how I did with Anderson's speech. I have a hard time doing accents. If I got some of it wrong, and you feel like it, please let me know so I can correct it. Thanks.
Have a good day, and God bless.