Chapter 2

Six Months Later

James hadn't heard from Lily since New Year. So by February James had given up on her contacting him. Now it was June and he was on a date, a third date with a healer called Charlotte. She was nice, she was not anything like Lily. Charlotte was a striking brunette, she had long legs and had recently been promoted to Head of Internal Medicine at St. Mungo's. She was polite, kind, interesting to talk to and most of all she knew what she wanted, she was happy with her career now she wanted to fall in love, get married and have children. She was definitely not Lily. Lily had no idea what she wanted for her future, she was a mess, she was sloppy and she could be a right cow when she was in a mood.

So James was on his third date with Charlotte, they had gone out to a nice restaurant and had a nice dinner, now they had come back to James' flat for coffee and a tour.

"And this is my room," said James opening his bedroom door, to his horror he saw Lily lying fully clothed on his bed staring up at the ceiling. He quickly slammed the door shut so that Charlotte didn't see. "Sorry I think I have a migraine coming on."

"But I didn't even see…"

"I know I'm sorry but when I get these migraines it's best if I just lay down in a dark, quiet room," said James his heart beating faster than it had ever done before, he had never been a good liar.

"Do you need a potion?" asked Charlotte concerned.

"No, no it's fine," said James leading her to the door. "I just need to sleep, sorry."

"Call me tomorrow?"

"Yeah I will, bye," said James leaning in and kissing her cheek.


"Now to the head case," James muttered as he made his way back to his bedroom. Lily was still lying on his bed staring at the ceiling. "You're late."

"I didn't know our coffee date had a specific time set," said Lily dryly.

"Yeah six months, I think that coffee date offer has long since expired."

"Ah, you're mad at me," said Lily sitting up. "Sorry I didn't get in touch."


"You didn't call me either," said Lily defensively.

"I poured my heart out to you and you said 'we'll just be friends' I think that meant you had to make the first move."

"You hardly poured your heart out," Lily scoffed. "You felt a little down because you had a rough time and we had just had sex. It was the sex haze talking!"

"Is that what you think it was?"

"Not really but you annoyed me," said Lily.

"I told you I loved you and you disappeared for six months and you just show up when I'm on date…"

"Yeah I noticed that," said Lily pointing to the door. "Charlotte Henderson, one of my bosses, yet another good healer lost in the world of paperwork and politics. How long have you been seeing her?"

"A few weeks."

"Shag her yet?"

"None of your business," he snapped.

"Fine," she grumbled. "I was just curious."

"Well don't be! What are you even doing here anyway?"

"I had to come back and see if your bed sheets were really as soft as I remember," Lily informed him. "They are by the way."


"Oh and you didn't say you loved me…the last time I was here I mean. You never actually said that."

"I said everything but…"

"But not the words."

"Right," said James.

"This would be the time you say them," said Lily.

"I'm sick of making the first move with you," he said honestly. "I don't even know if it's true anymore."

"Guess I'm too little too late then huh?"

"I think so."

"Damn," she said softly. "I should go."

"Why did you come here tonight?" asked James his eyes begging her to just tell him how she felt about him.

"Those sheets," smiled Lily. "You have to tell me what fabric softener you use."

"I don't know what I use," he sighed. "Remus does the laundry."

"Then I'll ask him," she said getting up and heading for the door.

"Is that it?"

"What else is there?" said Lily. "I hope you and Charlotte are very happy together, she's nice. You deserve someone like her."

"What is that supposed to mean?" James asked defensively.

"She's together, she knows what she wants and she's gorgeous. The two of you will have beautiful children together."

"You're right, she does know what she wants. She doesn't play stupid games to fuck with my head."

"I'm sorry if you thought that's what I was doing," said Lily. "I never wanted to mess with your head or hurt you."

"I know," he said sadly. She really was going to just walk out on him again, she never could put up much of a fight for them.

"Goodbye James," said Lily she reached up cupped his face with one hand and kissed his other cheek. "Good luck."

"You too," he practically choked out.

His girl was leaving him for the last time and it was killing him. Why couldn't she just open up just a little bit to him? He didn't understand how she could do it, how she could just give up on him, on them. They weren't supposed to be apart, if only she could see that.

"I'll just…sorry I shouldn't have disturbed you," she said looking as if she was holding back tears. "I'm sorry I ruined your date."

"Don't be it's fine," said James.

"I'll just go," she said.

And she walked right up to the front door and left without even looking back at him.

"I can't do this," James whispered to himself.

He had to go after her, he couldn't let her just leave because he was too proud to make the first move again. He grabbed his jacket and ran down four flights of stairs, he ran into the street. It was pouring down rain and he couldn't see her anywhere. He was just about to give up and go inside, when he spotted her. She was crouching against his building, even though it was raining he knew she was crying her eyes out. He ran over to her and crouched beside her.

"What's wrong?" he asked shouting to be heard over the rain.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled. "I don't want to be like this!"

"Come on lets get you inside before you freeze to death," said James scooping her into his arms and carrying her inside.

"I'm sorry," Lily sniffled as James settled on the couch with her still in his arms.

"Yeah me too," he said. "Just relax and rest." He muttered an incantation under his breath so that Lily's clothes were now dry.

"James," she said. "I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that."

"I love you."

"Could you repeat that?"

"I love you, I just wish I could have told you before I broke down on the street."

"You can be such a drama queen," said James. "Do you feel better?"

"Yeah much, thanks," said Lily going to get out of James' embrace but he wouldn't let her go.

"Why were crying?"

"Because I'm fucked up."

"Yeah you're a fruit cake."

"I am, and I am sorry for how I fucked it all up with you."

"Tell me you love me again?"

"I love you," said Lily. "I always have except you know…in fifth year when you were the biggest prat."

"You kinda ruined the sentiment there."

"Yeah I did, see I bet Charlotte wouldn't ruin the sentiment."

"I'm sure she wouldn't," said James. "But she doesn't amuse me half as much as you do."

"You don't need a loony tunes mudblood that amuses you, you want someone perfect that knows what they want and I don't."

"What did you say?"

"I said I didn't know what I wanted."

"Before that?"

"Loony tunes," said Lily.

"The Mudblood part," said James looking down at her. "Don't ever let me hear you call yourself that again."

"Why not? It's true," said Lily. "I am a Mudblood and you…you are the last descendant of the oldest fucking pureblood family in the world. You need to carry on that blood line and you…you don't need deatheaters chasing you because they're after me!"

"You better be fucking kidding me!" James roared as he got to his feet. "That is the reason for all this bullshit!"

"Don't yell at me!"

"Is that the reason you won't…that…we…"

"Stop shouting at me because I don't want you to die!"

"I don't want to die either," James shouted. "I want to live!"

"Then we agree neither of us want you to die so I should just go now," Lily shouted back at him.

"No," said James grabbing her shoulders to stop her leaving. "I want to live but I don't want to live without you!"

"Well that's just not an option that's open to you!"

"You love me."

"Yeah…so," said Lily faltering a bit. "You love me too."

"When did I say that?"

"You implied with the whole 'I don't want to live without you' bit!"


"Oh great," shouted Lily throwing her arms into the air. "I'm too late, that's what you said earlier. Wonderful! Couldn't you be a gentleman and leave me in the rain?"

"Oh come back here, you know I love you," said James. "You'll never be too late."

"James…we can't. You know it's too…I won't put you in danger!"

"But you have," said James his arms circling her waist. "Now you've told me you love me but we can't be together, I'm going to be so distracted on the battlefield…unrequited love and all that…"

"Blackmail is the lowest of the low."

"If I was going to use blackmail then I would tell you that I will never sleep with you again."

"No," Lily gasped "Not that."

"Come on I'm serious," said James as he nuzzled her neck. "That's a bullshit reason…I love you so much and I don't care about the fucking blood line. My parents wanted me to be happy, and you will make me happy, might make me lose my marbles too but I'll lose them happily."

"James please…"

"I love you and you love me," he murmured. "And the sex isn't bad."


"No buts come on," James all but whined. "Just give it a try."


"This is all your fault," Lily muttered an hour later.


"No I was talking to the bed sheets," said Lily rolling over to face James. "They enticed me back."

"And here I thought it was my skills in the bedroom."

"No it was the sheets," said Lily flatly.

"You're going to marry me, you know?"

"Are you asking me or telling me?"

"Telling you," said James as he lifted up her left hand, somehow he had managed to slip his family ring on her finger while she had been asleep.

"Thank Merlin it's a nice piece of jewelry!"