This idea had been in my head for a while. Please review and let me know what you think.
As soon as I entered my bedroom, I breathed a sigh of relief. No more pretending for Charlie's sake. I can truly let down my act, and no longer act as if I'm okay.
This brought a painful reminder.
A long minute passed. I listened, not sure if I'd heard the door close. Then Edward's cool arm was around me, under the covers, his lips at my ear.
The moisture in my eyes began to swarm. I knew what was coming.
"You are a terrible actress – I'd say that career path is out for you."
I stood there, pained and dazzled. Although it wasn't his voice, his words have just as much impact on me.
What would make me forget him? What could make me forget him? Would I do whatever just so I could make myself forget him?
The answer was simple, and I knew it before I even asked myself the question.
No, I wouldn't. He was the best thing that had ever happened to me. It's impossible to forget who you loved, who you still love, and who you would die for without a second thought.
Dizzy, I took a step forward. Naturally, I tripped.
If he was here, he would catch you… A small voice whispered, taunting me, once again about Edward's decision.
How well I knew I wasn't good enough for him. But hearing him saying it... another memory played before it could be stopped.
"You're no good for me, Bella."
I didn't bother to get up. Who cares about the less-than-warm floor when you had issues with breathing?
With difficulty, I raised my head, so my cheeks would rest on the ground instead, and tried to breathe without my lungs. Just like his promise, it was useless.
"And I'll make you a promise in return, I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."
Somehow, without Edward's musical voice, those words seemed less painful.
Yet still, what a stupid and impossible promise to make! He could take back his gifts, steal my photos, but what about the memories? They can't be erased, they can't be stolen, and they can't be reclaimed!
As if he had never existed? That was madness. It was something he could never keep and broken as soon as he had made it.
My momentary anger had distracted me, and it was enough for me to start breathing without agony again.
Sighing, I got up. A dreamless sleep is impossibility now days, and besides, homework was on the top of the agenda.
However, I couldn't seem to move my left foot. Looking over my back, I realized my sneaker had broke through the floorboard.
I knew that floorboard had always been quite loose. Isn't it just my luck, to trip on the loosest floorboard?
I concentrated on getting my stuck foot out. As though things were determined to not go my way, my stuck foot remained there.
Wiggling my ankle, my sneaker fell off, but my foot was freed. I debated between leaving the shoe there and wear my sandals tomorrow, or get the shoe now.
With a sigh, I lifted the floorboard. The chances of a sunny day tomorrow are the chances of Forks remaining cloudless for a year. Sandals were too impractical for Forks.
My sneaker was covered in a sea of dust. Coughing, I grabbed sneaker, but something had caught my attention. In the ocean of dust, something was… shiny.
What could be under the floor that's shiny? I wondered. Raising my arm, I reached down and took it out.
It was a CD.
That's odd, I thought idly. I looked down at the broken floorboard once again, as if checking if there's anything else. What I saw made me gasp out loud.
It was the missing photos from my album. I gasped as I saw his face – his perfect, heavenly face – again.
My heart was pounding, I fell to my knees, and frantically searched under the floorboard. There was the photo of him and Charlie, and my plane tickets from Esme and Carlisle.
What was the meaning of this? Why are these here? So many questions revolved around my head. But I was too tired to think it through.
I wiped the CD on my jeans, clearing it of dust. Then I put it in the CD player, and pressed both play and repeat. As I expected, my lullaby began to play. At that moment, I felt alive. Although not whole – that was something no one but him can heal.
Then, clutching the photos of him, I lay down on my bed, and closed my eyes; I was exhausted. I would think about the questions tomorrow.
That night, I was free from the nightmares.