Disclaimer: Same thing that I always say - not mine. However, a very big thank you to Stephenie Meyer for providing us with such entertaining characters to write about! :D
"Rosalie! I'm hooooome!" the most wondrous male voice sang out. He was back from his hunting trip.
"EMMETT!" I screamed, flying out of my room, only to skid to a stop right before the stairs. Why did I feel so jerky?
"Rose…?" He asked, his voice trailing off. "What's wrong?"
I slowly descended the stairs. Something was wrong. I felt so restrained, as if all my inhuman grace were taken away from me. I felt clumsy—not just my legs but my whole body. I decided to see what happened if I ran. After doing so at human speed just to try it out, the trademark Bella Swan action happened.
I tripped over my own feet and plummeted down face first. I tried reaching wildly for the banister, but I missed. Emmett had rushed up in less than half a second and he tried to grab me around the waist when I veered off direction at the very last moment. That made him miss, and the next thing I knew, I had crashed into him and we were tumbling down the stairs. My husband helped me up, trying unsuccessfully to hold back his light chuckles. Although we were both unscathed, my pride was very much wounded. I shot a venomous glare at him.
At that moment the front door chose to open and in walked Edward and Bella. They were both wearing confused expressions. But that wasn't the first thing I noticed. Once I saw the way they had walked in, it instantly drove knives of jealousy through me. Bella had the most perfect walk, so willowy and sinuous. Her flowing walk would make any dancer's look robotic. How could that have happened?!
A horrible realization dawned on me. Here I was, tripping over my feet, and Bella, gliding on the floor like I usually did. There was only one explanation.
"EDWARD!" I screamed way louder than necessary although he was right in front of me. "WHAT IS THIS?!"
"What is what?" he asked me, the astonished look still on his face.
"I want to know why Bella's and my walk got switched but I still have my vampire speed!" I stepped forward and violently jabbed a finger at his chest. Emmett instantly pulled me back, as did Bella with Edward. I looked at her contemptuously. She shouldn't even be here in this family. It's not like she can protect Edward…it's always him who protects her. Edward's eyes instantly hardened. I disregarded them. Who did she even think she was anyway? A pathetic human who was proud of being the only who knew our secret without facing any consequences. The Volturi should have come. I hated her so badly—she was a human, while I was a repulsive monster who constantly craved for blood. By now, Edward's lips had lifted to form a snarl, baring his teeth. When he answered, however, his tone was quite smooth.
"I don't know, Rosalie, Bella woke up this morning and she said she felt her limbs were flexible, unrestrained. She managed to walk today without ever tripping once, and she walks exactly like you do." This last part was accompanied by a smirk.
"OF COURSE SHE DOES!" I screamed loud enough to be heard by vampires within a five hundred mile radius. "THAT'S MY WALK! AND DID YOU KNOW I HAVE HERS?! I ACTUALLY TRIPPED OVER MY OWN FEET!
I felt a vehement satisfaction when I saw Bella's wide, terrified eyes. She couldn't even handle a vampire yelling. How pathetic. Edward was laughing at me now, probably imagining what the sight of me tripping looked like. That was the last straw for me. I broke free from Emmett's grip and lunged at my brother. However, he was too fast and swerved from the door at the very last millisecond, causing me to slam right into it. It trembled violently, but I was instantly on my feet, trying to get my revenge on the one whose mate Carlisle had intended me to be. Edward and I, together? Never.
Edward laughed sadistically. "Damn right you are!"
I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings, and I once again found myself colliding into a diamond-hard object that instantly restrained me. It was Emmett. I fought back fiercely, but he merely pulled me to his chest as if my fighting was nothing, which it probably wasn't compared to him.
"Rosalie…" he murmured. "Let's wait until Carlisle gets home and then we'll ask him." He knew better than to dare call me 'Rose' now. The pathetic human was calling for Edward.
I almost pounced on Carlisle as soon as he came through the door in my desperation to have the nagging question answered. I barely saved myself from tripping, but that was a near thing.
"Carliiiiiisle!" I yelled in a very unladylike tone.
"Rosalie? What's the matter?"
"I don't understand why Bella walks with my gait and I walk with hers. I do not want to trip randomly all over the place! Why is this happening to me?" I whined.
Carlisle, curse him too, was laughing. Why did everybody find humor in this? I didn't want Bella's trait! I was content with having her trip while I laughed heartlessly and mocked her. Edward growled at me from his room upstairs. Oops. I would have to tone down my thoughts about Bella quite a bit.
Finally, my father figure answered. "I don't know, Rosalie. This isn't anything medical science can explain. Maybe it's a bad dream and you'll wake up to find that it isn't real."
"We can't sleep," I snarled.
Carlisle thought for a moment. "Maybe we're all hallucinating."
"NO WE'RE NOT!" I screamed, hating my uncooperative family.
"I'm sorry I couldn't help," he responded with maddening sympathy.
"Stupid vampires," I muttered to myself, stomping out of the room. I heard Carlisle chuckle behind me. I felt my foot catch onto something—it was a leg of Edward's piano bench—and once again, I was flat on the floor.
A/N: Yayyy! I got sick of Bella falling all over the place and Edward saving her every single time. So I decided to try something different. Rosalie, the perfect vampire, tripping. Anyone would get a laugh out of that. And sorry if this story wasn't as funny as you had expected it to be. xP
Hugs, kisses, and a w e e k s w o r t h o f F O O D to ma beta merveilleuse, dear forever yours. Without her editing I would have butchered up this story :P
Did you guys like it? Now that you're done, there's still a little something more to do...you know...click that little button that says 'Go'. :wink wink: ;)